English Language:)

The English Language!
Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it,
English is a language where,
There is no egg in the eggplant.
No ham in the hamburger,
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple!
English muffins were not invented in England.
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted.
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that,
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing!
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth!
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race.
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch,
It starts.
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.





The longest one-syllable word in the English language is 'screeched'.

'Underground' is the only word in the English language that begins and ends with the letters 'und'.

'Dreamt' is the only English word that ends in the letters 'mt'.

The symbol in the 'pound' key (#) is called an octothorpe.

The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.

The word 'set' has more definitions than any other word in the English language.

There are only four words in the English language which ends in '-dous': tremendous, horrendous, stupendous and hazardous.