Jokes

Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student : Please teacher,I don't think I want to study history. Teacher : Why?
Student : There is no future in it.






Teacher : Ted,if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!






Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David :But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that.But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.






Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday,teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday,she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday,she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind,how do I know the right answer?





A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly,there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter
turned to look at herfather.
Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.






Old lady : Doctor,I've got a pain in my left leg.
Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age.
Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg.







Two men were facing each other on the train.
First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word.
Second man : I wasn't speaking.I was only chewing gum.