First of all: ouch. Second of all: What? But there, nestled under the Wellness tab among essential oil diffusers and gym totes, were indeed dozens of sex toys, all from the same place I buy slipper socks and Tatler magazine.
The Lelo Ora 3 vibrator—price tag $224— specifies that it simulates oral sex for women, never once actually using the words masturbate or orgasm. The Drop 3 Speed Massager, which looks exactly like a Beauty Blender, doesn’t even say where you should be using its vibration features.
CEO Heather Reisman has called Indigo a “cultural department store.” “[It’s] a name that helpfully underscores the Oprah-esque lifestyle the chain has begun pushing: safe, tasteful, stylish—and, of course, well read,” notes a 2014 Marketing magazine article. What’s unsaid here is the obvious: it is targeting an affluent, cis, female consumer. These days, along with your tastefully-designed vibrator, you can also buy vegan handbags and collagen elixirs.
Indigo is not alone. Nordstrom has a small “Feminine Products and Sexual Wellness” section, where you can purchase a vibrator that doubles as a chic necklace. Clothing retailer Nasty Gal—that of the original Girl Boss—offers a much larger selection, with everything from novelty erotic board games to faux-leather collars and leashes. Most infamously, Gwyneth Paltrow’s e-retail site Goop has sold jade eggs, a candle that smells like a vagina and vibrators. “We have always been really interested in sexual wellness as a really important pillar of wellness,” Paltrow told the New York Times last year.
It’s not a bad thing, at first glance, that sex toys are more widely available. For decades, it was unthinkable that anyone aside from able-bodied, heterosexual, cis men could enjoy sexual pleasure. And for some, buying your vibrator from a bookstore or a famous actress may seem a less intimidating prospect than going into a sex toy shop—not to mention a safer option in the middle of a global pandemic.
But this wider-spread availability isn’t necessarily a giant step forward for sex positivity. When masturbating is another thing we have to add into our wellness routine along with hot yoga and a ten-step face-care regime, it doesn’t feel progressive, and frankly, it doesn’t feel very sexy. Instead, it becomes yet another demand on our time—a goal that we have to fit in with all the others. Take a closer look at what kinds of toys are being sold, and to whom, and it also becomes clear that this sex toy proliferation is less about our sexual well-being and about selling product—while sanitizing out the actual sex.
