You’re Not The Most Beautiful Woman
Social media has become a place where couples declare their love for one another and exchange heartfelt messages for millions of people to see, but not all love letters are the same — or even sweet for that matter. A writer named Solomon Buchi attempted to express his appreciation for his future wife, but his message and delivery caused him to go viral for all the wrong reasons.To get more news about
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“You’re not the most beautiful woman; neither are you the most intelligent woman, but I’ve chosen to never find perfection in anyone else,” he wrote in an Instagram caption. “I put my gaze on you, and with that commitment, we would mold ourselves for ourselves. Our perfection is in our commitment.”
The caption continues, “Stating that you’re not the most beautiful/intelligent might sound like it’s not a compliment, yeah? But it’s a realistic base for real love. Acknowledging that my woman isn’t the best, but I’m not looking for the best. I was looking for you and I found you. There’s no best, there is just someone you choose and see the best in them. This to me is the real love. Not the one that consoles itself in the faux reality that their partner is the most good looking, most intelligent, most successful person in the world. That’s disingenuous and doesn’t give room for love to thrive. My love for you isn’t about you being the best, it’s about you being you. There’s just no other you. I love you, ayanfe. I’m committed to you. I miss you so much!!! But my love for you is stronger than distance.Struggling to pick your mouth up off the floor? I know, I struggled too. Some people call this a backhanded compliment, while others refer to it as negging—verbal emotional abuse with the intent of lowering someone’s self-esteem.
Reading this was embarrassingly familiar and brought me back to a time I was riding in the car with my ex. I made a comment about me being beautiful and I’ll never forget when he interjected, unsolicited, and said “No, you’re not beautiful, but you’re cute.” That should have been a red flag for me, but my self-esteem at the time, in many ways, agreed with his objection.
And it didn’t stop there. As the relationship progressed, so did the negging. It turned into statements like, “I could be with so many finer girls, but I chose you,” to “I could have been with a fine light-skinned girl, but they’re too high-maintenance. I chose you because you’re not too fine and you’re low maintenance.”
