~Fragi~
Age: 43
Total Posts: 64603
Points: 0
Location:
Neutral Zone,
Few jokes for ya guyz to smile n laff
A lady was out driving her car and when she stopped at a red light, the car just died. It was a busy intersection, and the traffic behind her starting growing.
The guy in the car directly behind her started honking his horn continuously as the lady continued to try getting the car to start up again. Finally she got out of her car and approached the guy in the car behind her.
"I can't seem to get my car started," she said, smiling. "Would you be a sweetheart and go and see if you can get it started for me. I'll stay here in your car and lean on your horn for you."
An airplane was flying from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced, "We have lost an engine, but don`t worry, there are three left. However, instead of 5 hours it will take 7 hours to get to New York."
A little later, the pilot announced, "A second engine failed, but we still have two left. However, it will take 10 hours to get to New York."
Somewhat later, the pilot again came on the intercom and announced, "A third engine had died. Never fear, because the plane can fly on a single engine. However, it will now take 18 hours to get to new York."
At this point, one passenger said, "Gee, I hope we don`t lose that last engine, or we`ll be up here forever!"
~Fragi~
Age: 43
8205 days old here
Total Posts: 64603
Points: 0
Location:
Neutral Zone,
A Fairy Tale
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured princess
happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, "I
was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me.
One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can
marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my
meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy
doing so."
That night, while the princess dined on frog legs, she kept laughing and saying, "I don't think so."
Guy goes to the doctor to get the results of a health check.
Doctor says 'Iv'e got good news and bad news, which do you want first?'
'Guy says good news first.'
'OK, You got 24 hours to live'
'Dang, whats the bad news!'
'I shoulda' told you yesterday!'
~Fragi~
Age: 43
8205 days old here
Total Posts: 64603
Points: 0
Location:
Neutral Zone,
A Chicago man dies and goes to hell.
When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says "sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here."
The man says, "No problem. I'm from Chicago."
So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to the Chicago man to see how he's doing. To the devil's surprise, the man is doing just fine.
"No problem...just like Chicago in June," the man says.
So the devil goes back over to the thermostat, and turns the temperature up to 150, and the humidity up to 90. He then goes back over to see how the Chicago man is doing.
The man is sweating a little, but overall looks comfortable.
"No problem. Just like Chicago in July," the man says.
So now the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 200, and the humidity up to 100. When he goes back to see how the man is doing, the man is sweating profusely, and has taken his shirt off. Otherwise, he seems OK.
He says, "no problem. Just like Chicago in August."
Now the devil is really perplexed. So he goes back to the thermostat, and turns the temperature down to MINUS 150 DEGREES. Immediately, all the humidity in the air freezes up, and the whole place (meaning Hell) becomes a frigid, barren, frozen, deathly cold wasteland.
When he goes back now to see how the Chicago man is doing, he is shocked to discover the man is jumping up and down, and cheering in obvious delight. The devil immediately asks the man what's going on.
To which the Chicago man replies.....
"THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!"
"THE CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!"
A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat STANDING upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"
