sweetie
Age: 124
Total Posts: 12992
Points: 0
Location:
Nepal, Nepal
A Pakistani dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is
different hell for each country. He goes first to the German hell and asks "What do they do here?"
He is told "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour.
Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day."
The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on.
He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many
more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as
the German hell.
Then he comes to the Pakistani hell and finds that there is
very long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks "What
do they do here?" He is told "First they put you in an electric
chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for
another hour. Then the Pakistani devil comes in and whips you for
the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the
other hells - why are there so many people waiting to get in?
"Because maintance is so bad that the electric chair does not
work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the
devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the
register and then goes to the canteen..."
***** ADVENTURES OF JUGNU SINGH *****
Jugnu Singh sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing.
The bystander: A Marathon race is going on
Jugnu Singh: What do they get from that?
Bystander: The winner will get a prize.
Jugnu Singh: Then why are the others running?!
************************
Jugnu Singh and an American were walking outside when
the American said
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Jugnu Singh looked towards the sky and said
"Where, where?"
************************
Jugnu Singh: I was born in the Punjab.
Harpal Singh: Oh really, which part?
Jugnu Singh: All of me, silly.
*************************
Jugnu : What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY?
Harpal : A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!
**************************
Jugnu : Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of..
Harpal : 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
**************************
Q: How can you recognize Jugnu Singh in a submarine?
A: He is the one with the parachute on his back.
***************************
Jugnu Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice.
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven."
"Well, wrong number. I am Harpal calling, sorry to have woken you
up on the
middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."
******************************
Jugnu Singh with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But...what happened to your other ear?"
"That fellow called back."
*******************************
Q: Why did the Jugnu Singh take a pair of binoculars with him to
a funeral?
A: It was a distant relative's funeral
*******************************
There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street.
All the sardars in the funeral are dancing the bhangra and singing ' O balle balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange that
instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baarat. So one of them asks Jugnu Singh, "Singh saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach raheho?" comes the reply, "Haan ji ! Hai hi baat bade khushi ki !!!
Aaj paheli baar ek sardar *brain* tumour se mara hai !!!!"
******************************
[:P][:P][:P]
