"WHAT’S WRONG?" or "WHAT’S MISSING?":

Brighten (10-year old daughter): "Did you know Thomas Edison
tried to make a light bulb using hair from his beard?"

Ron (50-year old dad): " Edison tried ten thousand different
things before he discovered one that worked."

Brighten: "He failed ten thousand times? Did he get frustrated?"

Ron: "I don't think Edison ever thought he failed."

Brighten: "Ten thousand things didn't work and he never thought
he failed?"

Ron: " Edison discovered ten thousand things that didn't work. But
each one took him closer to discovering what did. He didn't see
anything wrong, he just wanted to make a light bulb."

Brighten: "Hmmm. That's a good way of looking at things."

* * * *

There is a big difference between asking "What's wrong?" and
asking "What's missing?"

"What's wrong?" always makes a judgement. This can be useful and
effective, but it can also drain you of vitality and joy.

"What's wrong?" critiques what is and says it should not be so.

It sounds like this: "Oh, (fill in the blank) would be so much
better if only (fill in the blank) were different."

Sound familiar? Asking yourself "What's wrong?" is easy to do.
But it can leave you disappointed (and often takes others down
with you).

"What's missing?" has a completely different flavor: curiosity,
wonder, even optimistic.

It sounds like this: "What is needed here? What would be helpful?
What could we create?"

"What's missing?" means you are looking forward and creating a
better future. What's wrong means you are looking backward, and
complaining about the past.

You choose which question to ask many times a day. Choose wisely.