Sardarji Jokes !

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~tasha~

Age: 124
Total Posts: 47628
Points: 0

Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
Banta Singh rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had
purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago. "Where is my free
gift?"
he
shouted at the shopkeeper.

"But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter." The
shopkeeper
answered politely.

"Don't fool me," replied Banta, "it is clearly written on the packet
of
the
butter 'Cholesterol free'".



************************************************************ ************
**

One day Santa Singh was home and he went to the kitchen, opened the
Sugar
bottle, peeped inside and closed it.

His wife was seeing this. After some time Santa again went to the
kitchen,
opened the Sugar Bottle, peeped inside and Closed it.

His wife again saw this. Santa Singh again and again did the same
thing.
His
wife was puzzled at why did he do something like this.. So, she asked
Santa,
'Why did you open the Sugar bottle, see inside and close it often?'

Santa Singh replied, 'I am a Sugar Patient you know.... Our doctor
advised
me
to check up the Sugar often'.



************************************************************ ************
**

Sardarji: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse: B positive
Sardarji: please tell me soon ....
Nurse: B positive
Sardarji: Madam, I am positive, but eager to know the blood my group.



************************************************************ ************
**

Jugnu Singh sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander
as
to
why are the guys doing what they are doing.
The bystander: A Marathon race is going on.
Jugnu Singh: What do they get from that?
Bystander: The winner will get a prize.
Jugnu Singh: Then why are the others running?!



************************************************************ ************
**

Jugnu Singh and an American were walking outside when the American
said
"Oh,
look at the dead bird."
Jugnu Singh looked towards the sky and said "Where, where?"



************************************************************ ************
**

Jugnu Singh: I was born in Punjab.
Harpal Singh: Oh really, which part?
Jugnu Singh: All of me, silly.



************************************************************ ************
**

Jugnu : What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY?
Harpal : A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO!



************************************************************ ************
**

Jugnu : Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of..
Harpal : 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.



************************************************************ ************
**

Q: How can you recognize Jugnu Singh in a submarine?
A: He is the one with the parachute on his back.



************************************************************ ************
**

Jugnu Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone.
"Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven
eleven."
"Are you sure it isn't one one one one?"
"No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. I am Harpal calling,
sorry
to have woken you up on the middle of the night."
"That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone
anyway."



************************************************************ ************
**

Q: Why did the Jugnu Singh take a pair of binoculars with him to a
funeral?
A: It was a distant relative's funeral
Posted 05 Sep 2007

~tasha~ says
eshajam said:



thankuuu jam
Posted 06 Sep 2008

~tasha~ says
eshajam said:

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb
miley,
1st Sardar:chal police ko de k atey hain.
2 sardar:agar koi bomb raste me phat gia to?
1st sardar:jhoot bol dain gay k 1 hi mila tha

-----------------

Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhey 1 problem hay
DR:Kia?
Sardar:Bat karty waqt admi dikhai nahin deta
Dr:aisa kub hota hay?
Sardar:Phone kartay waqt

----------------

Man:Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kia karte ho?
Sardar:AC k pas ja k beth jata hon

Man:Agar phir bhi garmi lagay to?
Sardar:To A/C on kar laita hon

---------------

Ek sardar ki chatri me hole
tha,
kisine pucha,umbrella me hole
kyu?
Sardar bola,Oye barish ruk
jayegi to pata kaise chalega.


----------------



Sardar:Yar mujhe 1 hathora
or keel chahiye computer k lye.

Sales man:Magar computer me inka kia kam?
Sardar:Oye yar mujhe computer mein windows lagani hai.


------------------

In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Sardar:I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name

-----------------



1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything

------------------



A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can’t get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

------------------



Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.

Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.

Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai.

-----------------

Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

-----------------



Sardar ko truck ne takkar mar di

Dost: Yar jo hona tha hogaya
per tu itna dara huwa Q hai?

Sardar: Yar kion k us truck k pichay likha tha
“Phir Milenge”


Posted 06 Sep 2008

Posted 06 Sep 2008

~tasha~ says
Sardar declares:

... . . I will never marry in my life&. . .
... . . I'll give same advice to my children also. . . . .

SARDAR talking on cell.

2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. . .

A donkey kicked sardar & ran away sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it & said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

Teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.
Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....

Santa went to Mysore Palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair
Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..


Waiting for your arrival
Posted 07 Sep 2008

eshajam says
2ND SARDAR: kis se baat kar raho ho.
1ST: biwi se.....
2ND: itne... pyar se....?
1ST: tumhari hai. . .

OMG

niCe ones
Posted 11 Sep 2008

eshajam says
Teacher: Everyone write your lover name on a paper
After 2 seconds,
Girls: Finished Madam

After 10 minutes,
Boys: Extra Sheet Please!!!

-------------------------
Child: Mom is bar ham saray patakhay is shop se lengay
Mom: Laken ye to girls hostel hai?
Child: Papa to kehte hain k sari phuljhariyan yehi rehti hain...!!!

i laugh at this one when i read it


---------------------------

Dermatologist: Good news! test results report that you will no longer be plagued by pimples.
Girl: Great, how come?
Dermatologist: There is no more space left

---------------------------

Boy1: Yar lerki ko I love you kehne k liye sabse achi jagah konsi hai?
Boy2: Mazaar
Boy1: wo kyon?
Boy2: kyon k wahan lerkiyon ne chappal nahi pehni hoti..!!!

------------------------

Pathan Date per gaya aur Khaana khaanay k baad Girlfriend se bola: Main aik baat poochoon bura to nahi maanogi?
Girl: Poocho na……
Pathan: Tumhaaray pas Naswaar hay?

-------------------------

Father: How were the exam questions?
Son: They were easy but I had trouble with the answers.


------------------------


Bhikari: Behen ji 1 rupya de do!!!
Malika gave him 1,000/- Ruppes... Secretory asked, why u gave him thousand rupees?
Malika: Pehli baar kisi ne behen kaha hai.

-------------------------

Khan to his friend: ye jo table pe admi hay mujhe buhut bura lagta hai.
Friend: table pe to 4 admi hain
Khan: wo jis ki moonchein hain
Friend: moonchein to sabki hain
Khan: wo jis k safaid kapray hain
Friend: wo to sabke safaid hain
Khan ne pistol nikala aur 3 admiyon ko maar kar bola... Ye jo reh gaya hai isko ham nahi choray ga.
ufff
kitna samajdar pathan

----------------------------------------

Pathan ko ek jadoo ka charagh mila, usne usko ragra to jin nikla, jin ne kaha 3 wishes batao.
Pathan: 1 khoobsurat alishan ghar ho... ghar agaya
Pathan: us main buhut ameer log rehte hon... log agaye
Pathan: ab humko wahan chokidar lagwa do


lolzzzzzzz





Posted 11 Sep 2008

valandrian says
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Posted 28 May 2018

Posted 23 Sep 2018

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