a case study...

these days..we see alot of families breaking apart...due to problems between husband & wife...

esa he ek case aj kal mere pas bhi hae...i am trying my best to solve it...but i wouldn't mind getting some advice from all of u...

background:

this couple is married for almost 3.5 years. have a 2.5 years old daughter. guy's parents live in pak. gal's parents live in same city as this couple (different house though). the guy have been doing odd jobs to survive and sometimes even taking welfare (help from government for poor people) and borrowing money from friends, etc.

problem:

this couple have been seperated (not divorced...but that's where they r heading towards) for almost 2 months now. there have been ups and downs and stuff...but 2 months ago...wife finally kicked the guy out of the house they were renting and took him to court and now their case is sitting in the court. here's what both parties have to say:

guy:

i am not saying only i am at fault...or only she is at fault...we both were at fault...and my problem is my gussa...i have done things i shoudn't have done. we have gone though some tough time financially and that also contributed to my actions, but now i have found a job full time and i hope everything will be ok. i want to save my house and want to bring my wife and daughter back home and am willing to start all over. he also stated he wanted to bring his elders into the matter, but she refused to talk to anyone.

gal:

i don;t wanna stay with that guy at all, never. he have beaten me so many times, threatened me to give me divorce so many times i can't stay with a person like that. i used to respect him so much and love him lots, but i have had enough. i don't think our financial situation have to do anything with all this because i was happy with whatever he was earning. when our problems started, i tried to talk to my elders to talk to his elders, but he refused to bring elders in the matter. she also said he says now he is willing to change and compromise only to get away from court's punishment and give me more torture and stuff. he cannot change, i know the person and i hate him now, i have made up my mind. even if he changes...for how long? he will be back to his usual in month or two. i didn't wanted to break my house, but his actions have forced me. he doesn't respect my mother either, refers to her as "aurat" instead of aunty or something like that. basically i have make up my mind. i have no feelings for him anymore. i can cook for him anymore, i can;t take care of him anymore..feelings r gone. i am tired of repeating myself again and again to others and don;t wanna talk to anyone about it as there is no hope.....and i am only talking to u (myself bazigaar) cuz i respect u and trust u. ok...if u give me gurantee he will be a changed person i will go back.

myself:

i am neutral in this matter and don't want their house to break.

now...i dunno who to trust and who not to trust as some of their complains contradict each other and i offered both of them to talk in front of me, but the girl is not willing to. one thing we know for sure is...the guy have hit the girl.

so yup...trying to do a patch up between these two...any suggestions...? yes the guy was wrong in hitting her and all, but maybe we can work on it to change his attitude and stuff...and i do know the guy needs to change alot, but atleast he is willing to get back, how to i get the girl to agree? i mean i can't really give gurantee...

any questions...feel free to ask?