How To Be A FOB

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How to be a FOB



Written by: bobaa904
Website: http://www.bobaa904.com

Welcome to "How to be a FOB", one of many upcoming guides here on BoBaa904.com. When I was asked to write this article, by one of the most notorious FOBs in the entire world, (Pervez Musharraf), I thought to myself: Vilas - Can you really explain the the world HOW to BE a FOB? It's not just something you can pickup a book about one day and learn. But then I thought to myself - like making babies, this takes time and effort. And every little bit counts.

So first we must begin with defining the FOB. What IS the FOB? How can you spot a FOB? And what seperates a FOB from, say, a policeman or a goat? Well my friend, these are very good questions.


Figure 1.1: A FOB amongst us.


Examine this picture closely. There is a FOB hidden within. If you are a girl, which one of these boys would you feel would ask you to marry you after seeing you for 15 seconds? If you are a boy, you don't have that ability, so you will have to either:
1) Ask a nearby girl (which there will be none if you are a FOB yourself)
2) Smell him

We can use smell to our advantage thanks to the fact that FOB's only put more and more MUSK on, and never actually shower.



After careful smelling and examinations, the FOB was spotted in this group. Remember, always double check your work by asking a girl.

Now that we know how to spot our soon to be fellow FOB's, we must learn how to live, think, and smell like one.

Observe this next picture very carefully.



Notice the distinct red markings. This product actually gets INTO your skin and removes all traces of FOBness from you.
AVOID AT ALL COSTS.



This is all you need. Why take a shower when you can just pour a bottle a musk on yourself each day?
Now that we can smell like a fob, we must take the next crucial step in learning how to be a FOB. Yes, we must think like a FOB.

First off, a FOB knows nothing in life except computers. This is illustrated by Figure 3.1.



Figure 3.1: A FOB and his wife


Avoid talking to people in person at all times. In fact, don't even make eye contact with ANYBODY. Only leave your house if you need to buy new computer stuff. Ask that all correspondence be e-mailed to you. Buy all your groceries online. If you need to work, develop a habit of biting your lips very hard and screaming in pain when people ask you questions. This will lead to less questions and more computer time.

At this point, we have learned how to spot a FOB, smell like a fob, and think like a fob. All that is left is writing & talking like a FOB.

If you are talking on the phone, you must use the word "HELLO" atleast 17 times a minute, or else the phone will combust. This is non-negotiable.

If you are talking online, then remember these rules:
- Each reply must be atleast 10 minutes after the last reply
- Each reply must be about something that was already discussed and is moot
- Each sentence must contain random words in Hindi
- Log on and off randomly
- Have Indian song lyrics in your profile
- Keep every girl in a group called "GARAM", and don't even add males to your buddy list
- Constantly search the AIM directory for 'Islam' and IM everyone you see
- Talk about the same things over and over
- Have your own website where you write articles about being a FOB

Part 2 of "HOW TO BE A FOB" coming next !


*****NO OFFENCE!! :D*****
Posted 01 Jan 2004

Cute_gal says
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good1
Posted 03 Jan 2004

Rain Man says
therez too much readin to it...
Posted 03 Jan 2004

madmax says
nice
Posted 03 Jan 2004

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Posted 09 May 2018

Posted 02 Oct 2018

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