Answering Machine Messages.. :p

Hello. I'm home right now but cannot find the phone. Please leave a message and I will call you up as soon as I find it. LOLZ


Despite the best efforts of the telephone company, you really DID reach 555-1234. But that didn't help much, did it? You still have to talk to a machine.


How do you leave a message on this thing? I can't understand the instructions. Hello. Testing 1 2 3. I wonder what happens if I touch this... YOW!


This is not an answering machine--this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call.


Richard Nixon voice: Hi... Uh, some people say I sound like Richard Nixon... I BEG your pardon! Uh... Everyone's out right now, so I'm uh... Covering up for them. Please leave your name, number and message promptly at the beep... I don't want to get blamed for any gaps on this tape. OK machine, you can beep now... Come on you, BEEP. LOLZ


Leave a message or I'll send 30,000 volts through your phone. I am an electrical engineer. I can do that.


(Strong east Indian accent:) Hello, you have reached the existential hotline of Ransheesh. I am currently meditating, but if you leave your name and which lifeline you are currently inhabiting at the sound of the Om, I will send good karma waves and contact you when the stars align properly.


Hi, you've reached 474-2340. Don, Kendy and Sylvia can't come to the phone right now because they've been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by android duplicates. You could leave your name and number at the tone, but I wouldn't -- you might be next! (evil laugh)


Owner is a hard-to-reach person: Yes, I finally got an answering machine. Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia! All-e-lu-ia! Please leave a message at the tone.


(Thug voice:) Uh, hello, Mike and Brian aren't here right now. They've been kidnapped! So at the beep, leave your name, your number, your message, and ten thousand dollars in a brown paper bag.


We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.


OK, one more time... This is our answering machine... This is the message on our answering machine... Any questions?


Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you. [thats for deatho :p]