Mommy's Big Butt My husband used to tell our two-year old child that mommy had ¡°a really big butt.¡± I guess he thought it was okay to say so he started telling me that. I would get on to him, but he still would say it.
One day we were at the mall waiting in line to check out. The woman in front of us was very gifted in the rear-end area. My son obviously noticed and turned to me, and said, "Mommy, That woman has a really big ass like yours" while tapping the lady on the leg. My face turned red and so did the woman's. I apologized profusely. tarar78638016.5702662037
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Family Party One day my family decided to attend a fairly formal party in New York City. We couldn¡¯t find a babysitter, so we thought it would be fine to take my daughter with us. My wife had decided to wear a really tight dress. She had decided not to wear any underwear simply because she thought everyone would be able to see the outline through her tight dress. Needless to say, fifteen minutes after we got there, my 3-year-old girl decided to lift mommy's dress up exposing her panty-less butt to everyone. We didn't stay at the party very long after this happened because my wife was mortified.
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
In-Law Nightmare A few years ago when my girlfriend still lived with her parents, I did something real silly. I came out of the bathroom at the end of the hall in her parents' home and as I walked past my girlfriend's bedroom I saw her making the bed.
She was kneeling on the bed facing away from me, trying to tuck the sheets under the far side of the mattress. Of course this meant her behind was sticking up and waving invitingly in the air. Well, there's few things I like more than gently slapping my girlfriends rear-end, a habit, which my girlfriend had already become familiar with.
So naturally I snuck up behind her behind and slapped her butt. Imagine my horror when her mother's face turned around and looked back at me! She didn't know what the hell I was up to!
Of course I could've died of embarrassment at that moment. I stuttered a few words saying how I thought it was her daughter's butt, apologized and got out of there.
The next thing I did was March downstairs and immediately told her husband what had just happened - I'd much rather he heard it from me than her! Of course he laughed his head off and they all still tease me about it to this day.
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Lil' Brother Babysitting Ok, My parents weren't home and I had to stay and baby-sit my little brother Timmy. So, I decided we'd go out back since it was a nice day. But, I was expecting call from my crush Nathan so I brought the phone out with me.
We got out the kick ball and started to play in the back yard. It was difficult for me because I was wearing these huge jnco brand pants that were 3 sizes too big for me. Timmy kicked the ball right on top of the roof of our house and I knew dad would blow up if he found out, because he specifically told us not too.
With the phone in my back pocket, I grabbed the ladder and climbed up it to the roof, I had done it before when hanging Christmas lights. I reached further and further for the ball, and as I reached Timmy ran up onto the 2nd floor patio right beside the ladder. (He got there from the inside.) I was so furious with Timmy at the moment for kicking the ball up there I kept yelling and yelling all of a sudden the phone rang but when I reached for it if slipped a bit! I caught myself three rings lower, one hand on the patio rail, one foot on the ladder.
I was so scared to move, but my baggy pants fell down! I was so frustrated that I yelled at Timmy that it was his entire fault and when he got fed up with me he ran around back climbed the ladder to where I was and pulled my panties down! I was mortified but still screaming at Timmy to get me down.
My crush who lived a block down from me decided to walk up to the house when I didn't answer the telephone. He cut up through the yards and into the backyard where I was standing with my bare butt and .......... He had to help me down but he definitely was looking!
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
The Doggy Did It... One Christmas season mom came down from Sacramento which was a long 6 hour drive. She brought her dog Buddie who was schitzu. After a long stay she was about to leave and noticed I gave him a small piece of cheese. She told me not to do that as it would give him gas and then said she had to use the bathroom before leaving but for me not to give him any more cheese. Well, she was in the bathroom for quite some time and poor Buddy was really hungry so I gave him a whole pound of cheese. As mom came out of the bathroom we all held back our laughter until she left. Many hours later she called my brothers house screaming on the phone about not appreciating the dirty trick I did. Of course I played innocent. She said all the way back up to Sacramento Buddy kept farting, she had to put him in the back seat as it smelled so bad, then had to open the windows to air out the car until it started raining hard and had to close them. Ever smell a dog fart?
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Wedding Anniversary My wife and I had been married for 25 years, so we decided to take a nice vacation to get away and celebrate our anniversary. We stayed at a nice hotel with an indoor pool just outside our room.
On our first day there I decided to show off a bit, even though the pool area was very crowded. I did a perfect swan dive, and was quite pleased with myself. I swam until I could touch bottom and started walking toward her. To my bewilderment, she was laughing, so hard in fact, there were tears rolling down her face.
I got out of the pool and ask her what was so funny; all she could do was laugh, and point toward the diving board, where I saw my swimming trunks. Looking down, I realized I was completely naked in a room filled with people. I ran to our room, and refused to come out again until it was time for us to leave.
I have bought my trunks a size too small ever since.
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Mall Kissing I am 13 and I was going out with this guy. His name was Derek. We were at the mall and I was sitting with him and we would start kissing and then stop and talk and then kiss and then stop......and do on and so on. sooo.....We were kissing and all of a sudden my grandma and my mom came up and saw us! She walked up and said "having fun" and she is young so I thought it was one of my friends and I said yes! Then I looked up and said do you want to join because me and my friends are silly like that. I noticed it was my mom!! I was so embarrassed! My mom and grandma still make fun o me today!
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Gymnastic Mistake When I was about 10 yrs. old my gymnastics building was very small and had very low ceilings. I was on the high bar and was attempting a flyaway move, when I went over the bar my foot stuck straight in the ceiling and there I stayed until every one in the gym had got a good laugh and several pictures.
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Wedding Comment My husband and I were at a wedding, and the brides mother was an unusually large, homely, unkempt woman...no matter what she wore or how she did her hair she couldn't help but look horrid. I wanted to say to her upon shaking hands in the receiving line.... You really look nice, as I know she spent some time trying her best and it was worth the effort as she did look reasonably nice. I was all ready in the line and as I took her hand... Instead of saying "You really look nice" I blurted out... "You even look nice" My husband got me in the parking lot and said Why would you say such a thing!!! I said I feel horrible enough lets just go home...This was over 30 years ago and to this day I still wish I could redo that moment. She was busy greeting other people so I hope she didn't really comprehend it. Sometimes the brain disengages from the mouth!!!
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Ice Cubes I was giving a seminar at a medical place and I kept a container of flat ice cubes nearby for my sore throat. Before anyone came in the room I took a gulp and chomped on a few cubes. Everyone filled the room and I introduced myself and continued on. I felt something cool on my pocket of my breast and here an ice cube had slipped out of the cup into the pocket and as I was talking the wet circle got rounder and rounder......oh was I embarrassed!!!
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Movie Theater Event As a teenager I went to the movie theater by myself thinking I would be asserting my independence. As we all know women do not like to be alone in social situations. But this was going to be different. After the movie started I decided I wanted refreshments. Upon returning with my popcorn and coke I located my seat. As I crossed the row to my seat I had to pass in front of a man--and he did not make it easy. I tried my best to step in front of him, but I tripped over his feet and landed in his lap!! I didn't even spill my popcorn, but was so embarrassed that I had landed in his lap. I got up and sat in my seat further down the row, but I have no idea about the rest of the movie. The guy I landed on watched me through the whole movie, so I was watching him so I could make my getaway if need be. I have never went to a movie by myself since!! It is just a recipe for disaster.
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
School Mooning First off let me explain, I am a schoolteacher at a small high school south of Dallas, TX, USA.
One day, I wore a particular pair of slack pants that had a zipper in the back that went right down the buttocks area.
Well, about halfway through the class, I took a book around the class to show each student. Suddenly, I heard gasps and whispers coming from behind me.
I simple ignored them and continued to walk around the class showing the book to everyone. Little did I know I was also showing them my ass.
My zipper had came unzipped and all I had on underneath were see-through panty hose. I was mortified. I zipped it up quickly and walked out of the classroom to regain my composure.
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Cheerleading Camp
This one time I was at school cheerleading camp working on all the moves and jumps. A really cute guy I liked was watching too on the sidelines. I tried to impress him by looking really good. But as I got ready to do my next exercise, I realized I was about to go pee any second. I tried to hold it in, but as I ran up to do a flip, my skirt and top came off leaving me completely naked as I let out this huge fart and pee went gushing and squirting out of my xxxxxxxx in mid air. I was so embarrassed that I stood there peeing and farting naked for almost 5 minutes
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Lil' Brother Babysitting Ok, My parents weren't home and I had to stay and baby-sit my little brother Timmy. So, I decided we'd go out back since it was a nice day. But, I was expecting call from my crush Nathan so I brought the phone out with me.
We got out the kick ball and started to play in the back yard. It was difficult for me because I was wearing these huge jnco brand pants that were 3 sizes too big for me. Timmy kicked the ball right on top of the roof of our house and I knew dad would blow up if he found out, because he specifically told us not too.
With the phone in my back pocket, I grabbed the ladder and climbed up it to the roof, I had done it before when hanging Christmas lights. I reached further and further for the ball, and as I reached Timmy ran up onto the 2nd floor patio right beside the ladder. (He got there from the inside.) I was so furious with Timmy at the moment for kicking the ball up there I kept yelling and yelling all of a sudden the phone rang but when I reached for it if slipped a bit! I caught myself three rings lower, one hand on the patio rail, one foot on the ladder.
I was so scared to move, but my baggy pants fell down! I was so frustrated that I yelled at Timmy that it was his entire fault and when he got fed up with me he ran around back climbed the ladder to where I was and pulled my panties down! I was mortified but still screaming at Timmy to get me down.
My crush who lived a block down from me decided to walk up to the house when I didn't answer the telephone. He cut up through the yards and into the backyard where I was standing with my bare butt andxxxxx. He had to help me down but he definitely was looking!
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Grandma Put in Her Place My grand daughter was about 4 years old and when I was getting ready for work one morning; She was right there while I put on my make up and rolled my hair. Of course I had to put make up on her as I did my face. I was ready to pull my sleep shirt off and put on my blouse. I told her to go tell her Dad something so I could change real quick. When I pulled the shirt up over my head ;She was standing right in front of me. I threw my arms across my bare chest and said, "Don't you look at my !!!!!" She said, "You look at mine". I said "Yea but mine are bigger then yours" (ha ha). She put her little hands on her hips and said "Yea but mine aren't on my belly.########!!!!!!??????::: That's how a 4 year old; puts grandma in her place
tarar786
Age: 124
7869 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Payback is Fair Play This is my silly story.
I am a bit of a practical joker and my hubby is the perfect target. He is quiet, shy and a great sense of humor. But I found out one sunny summer day that he had learned that payback was fair play.
I had started this ball rolling. We were reading in our backyard. He falls asleep , book on his chest. Evil smile crosses my face. I tiptoe quietly to the kitchen, get a whipped cream can, fill his right hand and tickled his nose. He wiped the stuff all over his face before waking up and me taking some great pics. He laughed and I thought that was the end of it ...WRONG !!
My sister had educated him two weeks later ..that payback is fair play and the two became thick as thieves . She invites us over to use her pool . I think great, time to try out my new bikini. We are sitting around and chatting and she sits on one side of me ..he on the other and I see a wink pass between them. "Whats up u two" Danny says nothing honey..just relax...which i do.
They each grab one of my wrists and tie it with ribbons to the the chair arm. Then Danny does the same to my ankles. I know I am in deep trouble as they pull out cans of whipped cream and decorate me head to toe while the video cam records the whole payback . All I cud do was wriggle and so "Oh no ..don't don't but to no avail until I look like frosty the snow queen.
