How Gender Nonconforming People Approach Fashion
“Excuse me, sir? I found a couple pairs in the size you were looking for,” the saleswoman at a well-known shoe warehouse told me recently. “They’re pumps,
not ankle boots, though.” She held out a pair of glossy teal heels with a sharp
toe, having scoured the shelves and storeroom for any shoe that might fit me,
period. When I tried them on, I felt like a caricature of a high-powered
businesswoman—they fit my narrow feet, but they were a far cry from the
taupe-colored low-heeled ankle boots l was looking for.
“Sir,” though, fit even less comfortably than the pumps. What was it about my eye makeup, leggings, and thigh-length sweater that said I wanted to be called
“Sir”?
The twinge of discomfort that followed is one of the small taxes the world extracts from people who don’t play by the rules of gender. It was clear the
warehouse that I went to, one of several stores where I’d been trying to track
down elusive ankle boots for fall, just didn’t have what I was looking for. But
I didn’t want to shop online. Part of the joy of shopping for me is in feeling
the textures of fabric, seeing the stitching across a leather shoe vamp, trying
on styles that I find attractive but would be reluctant to wear, like heeled
oxfords in show-off blue. (Eventually I caved and ordered a glut of shoes off
Amazon, almost all of which I sent back.)
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