LITTLE JOHNNY

TEACHER: Why are you late?
L-JOHNNY: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
L-JOHNNY: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

TEACHER: Johnny, why are you doing your maths on the floor?
L-JOHNNY: You told me to do it without using tables!

TEACHER: Johnny, how do you spell "crocodile"?
L-JOHNNY: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
L-JOHNNY: Maybe it's wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!

TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
L-JOHNNY: "HIJKLMNO" !!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
L-JOHNNY: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, Johnny, who discovered America?
L-JOHNNY: George!

TEACHER: Johnny, why do you always get so dirty?
L-JOHNNY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

L-JOHNNY: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
L-JOHNNY: Your name on this report card.

TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
L-JOHNNY: Don't bite any.

TEACHER: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
L-JOHNNY: I is...
TEACHER: No, Johnny. Always say, "I am."
L-JOHNNY: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
L-Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day
            at the same time."

Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry
           tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you
           know why his father didn't punish him?"
L-Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."

L-Johnny : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
L-Johnny : Well, where did you get THIS mommy then?

Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
           and one is blue with red spots!
L-Johnny: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same
           at home

Teacher: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped
        him, what virtue would I be showing?
L-Johnny: Brotherly love.

Teacher: Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before
eating?
L-Johnny : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.

Teacher: Johnny, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
        your brother's. Did you copy his?
L-Johnny: No, teacher, it's the same dog we wrote about!

Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people
        are no longer interested?
L-Johnny : A teacher