I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.

It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.

Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

If you can't convince 'em, confuse 'em....

The less we know, the longer the explanation.

If you think your boss is stupid, remember: you wouldn't have a job if he was any smarter.