NEVER TRUST AN OLD LADY
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>An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...
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>Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
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>Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
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>Old Lady: Oh, I see.
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>Officer: Can I see your license please?
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>Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
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>Officer: Don't have one?
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>Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
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>Officer: I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
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>Old Lady: I can't do that.
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>Officer: Why not?
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>Old Lady: I stole this car.
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>Officer: Stole it?
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>Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
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>Officer: You what?
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>Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.
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>The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up.
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>Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.
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>A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his
>half drawn gun.
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>Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
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>The woman steps out of her vehicle.
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>Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?
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>Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
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>Old Lady: Murdered the owner?
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>Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
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>The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
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>Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
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>Old Lady: Yes, here are the registration papers.
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>The officer is quite stunned.
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>Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
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>The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
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>The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
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>Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
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>Old Lady: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.