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QUEEN VICTORIA

Age: 124
Total Posts: 26285
Points: 0

Location:
Lahore, Pakistan
*Funny shairi*


Ladka: Kaash in hasinaaon kay baap mar jayen'
              Bahana ho afsos ka hum inke ghar to jayen
Ladki: Aisa sochna bhi aye zalim paap hoga
              Kabhi tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga

Kutta ban gaya hoon tere pyaar main
yakeen nahin aata to suno...Bhow..bhow

Aaj Tu Kali Hai, Kal Gulab Hoga
Mujh Se Shadi Kar Le, Bara Sawaab Hoga

Ladki: Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
                    Mohaba at ek se hoti hai, hazaron se nahi
        Ladka: Chandni chand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga
                          Mohabbat ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hog

Maine tujhe pyar kiya, saraswati samajh kar
Tere baap ne mujhe pita, agarbattti samajh kar

Milna hai to mil
isee duniya ke chaman main
Phir kya milna hoga,
        Jab laaash hogi kaphan main

Maine tujhe dekha,
handle badal badal kar
Tere baap ne mujhe peeta,
sandle badal badal kar

Yusuf ka husn, Zulekha ka ghumaar dekha hai
Kuch is tarah se Haseenon ka pyaar dekha hai
       Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat
        Kasm khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai

----------------Starting : "Aisi Apni Wife Ho"------------------
Wife ....Wife.......Wife.........
5' 6" jiski height ho,
Jeans jiski tight ho,
Chehara jiska bright ho,
Umar 22 se 27 ho,
Aisi apni Wife ho.   
------------
Sadak per sab kahe kya cute ho,
Bhir main sab kahe side ho, side ho,
Bambai, Delhi ya Gujarat ki paidaish ho,
Sas ki seva jiski khwahish ho
Aisi apni Wife ho.   
------------
Parosi jab baat kare to haath me knife ho,
Dinner kay time candle light ho,
Hum me tum me kabhi na koi fight ho,
Milane ke baad dil delight ho,
Yeh kavita parhne ke baad log kahe "chikne, tum right ho",
Aisi apni Wife ho.
------------
kaash yeh concept .0001 percent bhi right ho
agar aisi apni wife ho
to kya hasin life ho
------------   
har kisi ki yahi farmaish ho
kudrat ki bhi aazmaaish ho
khudah ke software mein bhi bug ki gunjaish ho
ay kaash, kahin to ek aisi paidaish ho
aisi apni wife ho!
----------------end of "Aisi Apni Wife Ho"------------------

Gul gaya, Gulshan gaya, Gaye honthon ki laaali
Ab to peeecha chor de, main ho gaye bachchon waali

Kamaata nahin hun itni ke tujhe roze khilaoon
Aaati hai to aaa ja, ya kisi aur ko pataooon

Chandni raat thi, main so rahi thi
Phir kisi ne darwaza khutkhataya
Maine soncha mera dil aaya
Darwaza khol ker dekha to bijli ka bill aaaya

Katchi Kali Katchnar Ki, Katcha Na Samjhna
Lar Jaoonga Tere Baap Se Batcha Na Samajhna

Angoothi Chanak Gaye, Nageena Nikal Gaya
Afsos Tera Baap, Kameena Nikal Gaya

Maana Ke Main Pura Musalman To Nahi
Par Apne Deen Se Nata To Jor Sakta Hoon
Nemaz Roza Kuch Na Sahi
Shab-E-Barat Patakhe To Chor Sakta Hoon

Dil Logi, Ke Jaan Logi
Meri Jaan Set Hone main Kitna Time Logi

Industrian sari mere yaar kha gaye
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar kha gaye
Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating
banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye

Use karte hein make-up ka daba roze kiyun?
Ban sanwar kar nikalte hain chailaa roze kiyun?
Mummy tum to kehti thee Eid to kab kee gaye
Phir Parosan se gale miltay hain Papa roze kiyun?

Yeh zulfain hain tumhari, ya resham ke jaal,
Kitne khush-naseeb hain vo choohe
Jin hon ne kutre tere baaal

Soldier Soldier.....pressure cooker khol kar
Sabzi meri uraa le gaya

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,
Exam paas aaye, sir mera dukhaye
Teacher ne na jaaane kyun, dande dikhaye,
Ab to mera sir, jaage na sota hai,
Kya karoon haye, kuch kuch hota hai....

Rafta Rafta dekho aankh meri lari hai
Aaankh jis se lari hai woh meri maa se bhi bari hai

Mard taange waala
Hoon main mard taaange wala
Mujhe teacher kya marega
Main to hoon principal ka saaala

Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, phatthar se phor doon
Pant wali mil jaye to ghanghre wali ko chor doon

Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note bichata hoon
Woh chaali jati hai tab uthaa leta hoon

Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, sheesha chatak gaya,
Buddhi ne aankh maari, buddha latak gaya
Posted 11 Mar 2005
momojp18 says
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai ..
Ke kyon kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai?

Pyar to tum par mujhe bahut aata hai
Par kya karu Tera baap beech mein aata hai

Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Laila ghar mein aur majnoo jail mein hota hai

Jab tak tu apne dil ki baat mujhe samjhayegi
Meri shaadi kahin aur ho jayegi

Door se dekha to kuchh dikha nahi......
Dooor se dekhaaa.. to kuchh dikha nahi....
Paas jake dekhaa to kuchh tha hi nahi

Posted 27 Mar 2005
joker says
Posted 27 Mar 2005
paki_fan says
Posted 27 Mar 2005
joker says
how are you all mem
Posted 27 Mar 2005
QUEEN VICTORIA says
Posted 28 Mar 2005
Saher` says
cute funny shairi
Posted 28 Mar 2005
Fairl_Girl says
momojp18 said:

Angoothi Chanak Gaye, Nageena Nikal Gaya
Afsos Tera Baap, Kameena Nikal Gaya

Industrian sari mere yaar kha gaye
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar kha gaye
Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating
banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye

Ghar ghar main diya jale
To diwali mat samjho
Agar main tera peeche paroon
To mawali mat samjho

teri aankhain hain ya neeli jheel
teri aankhain hain ya neeli jheel
so, whats the big deal

woh samne aaya
woh samne se hat gaya
ya ALLAH kya karoon
neela ghubara phat gaya

tu meri main tera
tu meri main tera
era ghera nathu khera

pappu yaar tang na kar
pappu yaar tang na kar
le chawanni jang na kar

sheeshi bhari gulab ki
sheesha chatak gaya
mulla ji ki darhi meun
chooha latak gaya

Posted 28 Mar 2005
momojp18 says
Banta Singh finished his English exam and came out of the hall. His friends asked him how did he do his exam, to which he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I really thought, thought, thought hard... and at last wrote - THUNK "
Posted 29 Mar 2005
momojp18 says
Interview of a Sardar



Santa Singh is called for an interview in some firm. He lands there on time. He is immediately hauled inside in front of the interviewing officer. Officer looks at Santa singh Then goes thru his certificates and then starts asking him questions.

O : Mr. Santa Singh, after seeing your qualifications & credentials I would like to ask you only some simple questions. If you can answer those then you are selected. First we will start with some opposites
S : Yes Sir.

Officer started asking questions

O : Above
S : Below


O : Front
S : Back

O : Left
S : Right

O : Male
S : Female

O : Ugly (means Next in Punjabi)
S : Pichhly (means Previous in Punjabi)

O : Ugly...U-G-L-Y( Officer spells it)
S : Pichhly...P-I-C-H-H-L-Y( Our sardar also spells it)

O : U.....G.....L ...... Y.....(Officer shouts)
S : P ..... I ..... C ..... H ....... H ...... L ..... Y......(Our sardar also shouts)

#Officer is now angry.

O : Get out
S : Come in.

O : Quiet please.
S : Talk please.

O : You are rejected.
S : I am selected ........ ....... and This is how Santa Singh gothis job.

Posted 29 Mar 2005
momojp18 says
Photographs


A man died.A sardar was taking photographs of funeral process.

Suddenly people started to hit sardar.

Why?

Because sardar said "SMILE PLEASE!!!".
Posted 29 Mar 2005
momojp18 says

Santa’s donkey



Having lost his donkey Santa, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?

"Santa replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn’t riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

Posted 29 Mar 2005
joker says
good
Posted 29 Mar 2005
Fairl_Girl says
Posted 29 Mar 2005
paki_fan says
Posted 02 Apr 2005
joker says
Posted 02 Apr 2005
paki_fan says
Posted 02 Apr 2005
momojp18 says

Zeer-Vaara

Main Shohar Number 420

Khirki se bahar dekhta hoon

rang birangi ladkiyon ko,

paas se guzarte dekhta hoon

unke shokh kapde, unki tight jeans,

mujhe jawani ki yaad dilati hain....

unka chalne ka andaz, unki patli kamar

mere seene ki aag bhadkati hain

wo kehte hain yeh teri umar nahi Ishq karne ki

phir kyun ladkiyan muhje paas bulati hain

wo kehte hain tera waqt guzar chuka

phir kyun wo meri neendein udati hain...

Main Shohar Number 420

Khdrki se bahar deikhta hoon

Mere saamne wali chat par,

ek ladki ko khada deikhta hoon

roz chat pe wo aati hai

apni zulfon ko lehrati hai

uski adaayen deikh kar,

kuch karne ko jee karta hai

uske gulabi honton par,

aaj marne ko jee karta hai

ankhon hi ankhon mein isharon se,

baat karne ko jee karta hai

wo kehte hain yeh kaam chor de

phir kyun khud yehi kaam karte hain

wo kehte hain Biwi ko cheat na kar

phir kyun khud cheating karte hain....

Main Shohar Number 420

Khirki se bahar deikhta hoon

ladkiyon se bhari college ki Bus,

jab unhain chor ke jaati hai

ek ladki jo pados mein rehti hai,

mere saamne aati hai

khud ko Chandni kehti hai

mujhe Uncle bulati hai

aisi pariyon ko deikh kar,

bahar jaane ko jee karta hai

khidki se neeche kood kar,

hath milane ko jee karta hai

Apni Biwi ko chor kar,

bhaag jaane ko jee karta hai

Wo kehte hain uska Bhai tandrust hai bohat

phir bhi maar khane ko jee karta hai

wo kehte hain ab kuch hath nahin aaye ga

phir bhi kuch paane ko jee karta hai

Main Shohar Number 420

Khidki se bahar deikhta hoon

Posted 04 Apr 2005
momojp18 says
One night a guy took his girlfriend home. As they were about to say eachother goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood. With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

" Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!" .

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" .

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!" .

"Oh yes you can. Please?" .....................

"No, no. I just can't"

"I'm begging you ... "

The light on the stairs went on, and the girl's older sister showed up
in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she said,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours.... ' ' TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE CALLING BELL ! ! "

Posted 04 Apr 2005
Saher` says
damn funny
Posted 04 Apr 2005
paki_fan says
Posted 04 Apr 2005
DejaVu077 says
Posted 04 Apr 2005
DejaVu077 says
Posted 04 Apr 2005
DejaVu077 says
Posted 04 Apr 2005
momojp18 says
Good 1!
Posted 04 Apr 2005
DejaVu077 says
Thanx
Posted 04 Apr 2005
back2future says
*~*~*Kal Thand Ho Na Ho!!!*~*~*


Aaj ...





Aaj...... Aaj Ek Sweater Aur Pehen Lo...




Aaj Ek Razai Aur Odh Lo... .



Aaj Ek Mufler Aur Lapet Lo...




Aaj Do Mozey Aur Pehen Lo...




Aaj Ek Kahwa Aur Pii Lo...



Aaj Ek Heater Aur Chala Lo...



Kya Pata....



Kal Thand Ho Na Ho!!!
Posted 04 Apr 2005
joker says
nice
Posted 04 Apr 2005
DejaVu077 says


Posted 04 Apr 2005
QUEEN VICTORIA says
sab ki posts k liye aik aik baar
Posted 04 Apr 2005
back2future says
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" > After a few seconds, little Santa Singh stood up. > The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Santa?" > "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
Posted 04 Apr 2005
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