Fear Factor
Tunn Mahol
Funny Jokes
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me," he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good!" said the first bat, "BECAUSE I DIDN'T!!"
A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.The owner says, "How about a dog?" The man replies, "A dog? That's so ordinary! And a dog can't do everything!" The owner says, "How about a cat?" The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"
The owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it -- a centipede!"
The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything. But, okay ... I'll try a centipede."
He gets the centipede home and says to it, "Clean the kitchen."Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and it's immaculate. All the dishes and silverware have been washed,polished, dried and put away. The countertops have been cleaned.
The appliances are sparkling. The floor has been waxed.
He's absolutely amazed. He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room." Twenty minutes later he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed, the furniture clean and dusted, the pillows on the sofa plumped and the plants watered. The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This is truly a pet that can do everything."
He says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper." The centipede walks out the door. Ten minutes later, no centipede. Twenty minutes later, no centipede. Thirty minutes later, no centipede. The man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes.Forty-five minutes later, still no centipede! The man can't imagine what happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Finally, he goes to the front door and opens it ... and there's the centipede sitting right outside the door.The man says, "Hey! I sent you 45 minutes ago to run down to the corner and get me a newspaper. What's the story?" The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm puttin' on my shoes!"
