Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted : $10. Teacher : You don't know maths. Ted : You don't know my father!
Mother : David, come here. David : Yes, mum? Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow. Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test? Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8 Father : So? Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. Son : If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
A mother and daughter were doing dishes while the father and son were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The son turned to look at his father.
Son : It's mummy! Father : How do you know? Son : She didn't say anything.
Old lady : Doctor, I've got a pain in my left leg. Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age. Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg.
Two men were facing each other on the train. First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word. Second man : I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7561 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Caller: Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?
Operator: Doesn’t the product give you a clue?
======= Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in France): If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?
Sam sung Electronics Caller: Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?
Operator: I’m sorry, sir, I don’t understand who you are talking about?
Caller: On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?
Operator: I think you mean the telephone point on the wall.
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7561 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
SINGH JEEEEEEEE
aik dafa santa singh nay America ki kissi bari company main nokri kaliay application bhaiji .kuch dinon kay baad unhain jawab mosul hua.jawab english main kuch uun tha
dear Mr. Singh
You donot meet our requirements. Please donot send any further correspondence. No phone calls will be entertained.
THANKS
yeh jawab pa ker santa singh jee ki khushi ki inteha na rahi. unhoon nay aik party ka intizaam kia or sab dooston ko bulaya jab sab jama ho gaye to to unhoon nay yeh ailaan kia
"sahibo! AAP SAB KO YEH JAAN KER KHUSHI HO GI KAY MUJHAY AMERICA MAIN NOKRI MIL GAI HAI .AB MAIN AAP KO KHAT PARH KER SUNATA HUN OR SAATH HI USKA URDU MAIN TARJUMA BHI KERTA HUN TAAKAY SAB KO SAMAJH MAIN AA JAAYE"
DEAR MR SINGH
...piaray siingh sahab
YOU DONOT MEET
...aap to miltay hi nahin
OUR REQUIREMENTS
...humain to zarurat hai
PLEASE DONOT SEND ANY FURTHER CORRESPONDENCE
...ab khatut likhnay ki koi zarurat nahin
NO PHONE CALLS
...phone voon bhi choriay
WILL BE ENTERTAINED
....bohot khaatir ki jaaye gi
THANKS
...bohot bohot shukria
or kuch din baad singh sahab AMERICA kay liay ravana ho gaye..
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7561 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Polish Remover A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.
I don’t think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No, we have carport, and not need one.
I mean. What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland.
Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.
Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.
Why do you want this divorce?
She is going to kill me.
What makes you think that?
I got proof.
What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read and It say Polish Remover.
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7561 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Tera pala hove! George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang. Hallo, Mr. Bush!, a heavily accented voice said. This is Sheeda from Chuk no -3, District Gujrat, Pakistan. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!
Well, Sheeda, Bush replied, This is indeed important news! How big is your army?
Right now, said Sheeda, after a moment’s calculation, there is myself, my cousin Basheera, my next door neighbor Karam Deen, and the entire kabaddi team from the village. That makes eight
Bush paused. I must tell you, Sheeda that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.
BLOODY Hell said Sheeda. I’ll have to ring you back! Sure enough, the next day, Sheeda called again. Mr. Bush, it is Sheeda, I’m calling from Chuk no-3 Gujrat, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!
And what equipment would that be, Sheeda? Bush asked.
Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amjad’s tractor. Bush sighed. I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I’ve increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke. Oh teri (oops) said Sheeda. I’ll have to get back to you. Sure enough Sheeda rang again the next day. Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne We’ve modified Amjads’s tractor by adding a couple of shotguns, sticking on some wings and the pind’s generator. Four boys from Sahiwal have joined us as well! Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!
Tera pala hove .. said Sheeda, I’ll have to ring you back. Sure enough, Sheeda called again the next day. Mr. Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war. I’m sorry to hear that, said Bush. Why the sudden change of heart?
Well, said Sheeda, we’ve all had a long chat over a couple of days and decided there’s no way we can feed two million prisoners!!.
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7561 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
The story of the bats Two vampire bats wake up in the middle of the night, thirsty for blood. One says, "Let's fly out of the cave and get some blood."
"We're new here," says the second one. "It's dark out, and we don't know where to look. We'd better wait until the other bats go with us."
The first bat replies, "Who needs them? I can find some blood somewhere." He flies out of the cave.
When he returns, he is covered with blood.
The second bat says excitedly, "Where did you get the blood?"
The first bat takes his buddy to the mouth of the cave. Pointing into the night, he asks, "See that black building over there?"
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7561 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
He is a very smart dog I went to the cinema the other day and in the front row was an old man and with him was his dog. It was a sad funny kind of film, you know the type. In the sad part, the dog cried his eyes out, and in the funny part, the dog laughed its head off. This happened all the way through the film. After the film had ended, I decided to go and speak to the man.
"That's the most amazing thing I've seen," I said. "That dog really seemed to enjoy the film."
The man turned to me and said, "Yeah, it is. He hated the book."
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7561 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
A blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, he decides to find out what's going on. The store manager approaches the blind man swinging the dog and says, "Pardon me. May I help you with something."
The blind man says, "No thanks. I'm just looking around."
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7561 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole. Banta: R u ok? Santa: Yeah! Banta: Did u break anything? Santa: No, there's nothing down here
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7561 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Never talk to the parrot Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"
Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.
As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"
gud wrk jee
