Pakistani Rishteydaar

3654 views 52 replies
Reply to Topic
MAA

Age: 124
Total Posts: 355
Points: 0

Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
Ok I wanna know why most ppl in pakistan ask for sooooooooooo much money? My Hubby's parents and sisters ask him for money constantly. (my hubbys from pakistan), I dont mind if he sends them kharcha but we are saving for a house and they ask for mobile phones, gold jewellery and wax machines!!!!!!!! why do some pakistani ppl have no decency? They tell my hubby dat dey got money problems and now they jus bought a car? My dads family from pak is d same! I dont tink all pakistani ppl are d same so plz dont take offence if ur from pakistan. I just want to know why dis appenz. Does anyone else relate to dis problem? Most of my friends and relatives who have married a man from pakistan suffer from same problem. plzz plzz reply with a cool mind. I mean no offence to anyone.
Posted 09 Mar 2008

Fairl_Girl says
apni apni nature hote hai
sub aise nahi hote
Posted 10 Mar 2008

~CHANDNI~ says
lol   is true asa hi hota hay bichary husbendz ko dono side mange karna mushkil ho jata hay
husbed ka to abb dill hota hay na kay WOh maa baap ko bhi bhajy mager biwi apnu jaga sahi hoty hay un dono nay jo apny liye dreamz dekahy hoty hay biwi yah chahty hay kay woh pory hooo........

yah shping list to bahir waly boyz ko Maa behon bhabiyon ki terf say jaty rahty hay lol
Posted 10 Mar 2008

Cathy says
MAA said:

Ok I wanna know why most ppl in pakistan ask for sooooooooooo much money? My Hubby's parents and sisters ask him for money constantly. (my hubbys from pakistan), I dont mind if he sends them kharcha but we are saving for a house and they ask for mobile phones, gold jewellery and wax machines!!!!!!!! why do some pakistani ppl have no decency? They tell my hubby dat dey got money problems and now they jus bought a car? My dads family from pak is d same! I dont tink all pakistani ppl are d same so plz dont take offence if ur from pakistan. I just want to know why dis appenz. Does anyone else relate to dis problem? Most of my friends and relatives who have married a man from pakistan suffer from same problem. plzz plzz reply with a cool mind. I mean no offence to anyone.




U Tellin abt yer side ....I mean the wife's side...

But ...Being a sis ..if my brother went to abroad ...I would ask hym to buy sum stuff fer meh ...As its his right To do so ...Man has always been a big support to the family ...

Let dis to be the sister n brother matter ..!
Posted 10 Mar 2008

~CHANDNI~ says
Cathy said:

MAA said:

Ok I wanna know why most ppl in pakistan ask for sooooooooooo much money? My Hubby's parents and sisters ask him for money constantly. (my hubbys from pakistan), I dont mind if he sends them kharcha but we are saving for a house and they ask for mobile phones, gold jewellery and wax machines!!!!!!!! why do some pakistani ppl have no decency? They tell my hubby dat dey got money problems and now they jus bought a car? My dads family from pak is d same! I dont tink all pakistani ppl are d same so plz dont take offence if ur from pakistan. I just want to know why dis appenz. Does anyone else relate to dis problem? Most of my friends and relatives who have married a man from pakistan suffer from same problem. plzz plzz reply with a cool mind. I mean no offence to anyone.




U Tellin abt yer side ....I mean the wife's side...

But ...Being a sis ..if my brother went to abroad ...I would ask hym to buy sum stuff fer meh ...As its his right To do so ...Man has always been a big support to the family ...

Let dis to be the sister n brother matter ..!



WEll said sunu
Posted 10 Mar 2008

Cathy says
Thankoooooooo
Posted 10 Mar 2008

~CHANDNI~ says
Posted 10 Mar 2008

Cathy says
Abb sab ghayab kyun hogaye
Posted 10 Mar 2008

Barsaat says
Bcoz unko lagta hay kay yah unka "haq" hay.

jabkay thorha bohat karna, matlab kharcha bhejna to haq
hay bi but xtra stuff? NO, woh haq main nahin aata.

kuch ghalti money send karnay walon ki bi hay,
jab start main idhar atay hain to
bohat promisses kar kay atay hain
phir start main bohat ziada send kartay hain
baad main ghar walon ko adat parh jati hay lolzz

main yahan aisay bohat say logon ko janti hon
jinkay sath aisay maslay hain

aur woh ab khud bodhay honay walay hain
unkay kidz jawan ho rahay hain
but family ko ab bi paisa chahiyay

and udhar family main say koi mard/larhka job
bi nahin karta, kay kharcha idhar say jo mil raha hay

Sari baat ahsaas ki hay, jo kay pahlay hi kam tha,
ab almost khatam ho gaya hay




Posted 10 Mar 2008

Barsaat says
Cathy said:




U Tellin abt yer side ....I mean the wife's side...

But ...Being a sis ..if my brother went to abroad ...I would ask hym to buy sum stuff fer meh ...As its his right To do so ...Man has always been a big support to the family ...

Let dis to be the sister n brother matter ..!



Cathy kabhi kabhi kuch mangwana buri baat nahin
but yahan aksar daikhnay main aaya hay kay
woh log yani; sisters,brothers etc alag alag say monthly apna kharcha mangtay hain
Matlab kay ZARORAT kay ilava.







Posted 10 Mar 2008

~CHANDNI~ says
Aasera said:

Bcoz unko lagta hay kay yah unka "haq" hay.

jabkay thorha bohat karna, matlab kharcha bhejna to haq
hay bi but xtra stuff? NO, woh haq main nahin aata.

kuch ghalti money send karnay walon ki bi hay,
jab start main idhar atay hain to
bohat promisses kar kay atay hain
phir start main bohat ziada send kartay hain
baad main ghar walon ko adat parh jati hay lolzz

main yahan aisay bohat say logon ko janti hon
jinkay sath aisay maslay hain

aur woh ab khud bodhay honay walay hain
unkay kidz jawan ho rahay hain
but family ko ab bi paisa chahiyay

and udhar family main say koi mard/larhka job
bi nahin karta, kay kharcha idhar say jo mil raha hay

Sari baat ahsaas ki hay, jo kay pahlay hi kam tha,
ab almost khatam ho gaya hay




lolz @Bcoz unko lagta hay kay yah unka "haq" hay.



lagta nahi aseera   un ka haq   hay

may bhi married hoon Usa may thy yah sab chalta hy
Posted 10 Mar 2008

MAA said:

Ok I wanna know why most ppl in pakistan ask for sooooooooooo much money? My Hubby's parents and sisters ask him for money constantly. (my hubbys from pakistan), I dont mind if he sends them kharcha but we are saving for a house and they ask for mobile phones, gold jewellery and wax machines!!!!!!!! why do some pakistani ppl have no decency? They tell my hubby dat dey got money problems and now they jus bought a car? My dads family from pak is d same! I dont tink all pakistani ppl are d same so plz dont take offence if ur from pakistan. I just want to know why dis appenz. Does anyone else relate to dis problem? Most of my friends and relatives who have married a man from pakistan suffer from same problem. plzz plzz reply with a cool mind. I mean no offence to anyone.



Sometimes the reasons for asking money are genuine but most of the time it's just ridiculous. They seem to conveniently forget that even you have needs & that everything here comes with expenditures too.

See, some people back home think that the streets here are paved with gold & you don't have to work that hard to make a good living which is so not true, here you have to work your fingers to the bone to make a good living just like anywhere else but they don't seem to think that.

I know afew desi families here that have to keep quiet about some of the businesses they've opened up/starting to open up cos they don't want family back home to know, which is sad really. This one newly-wed couple have their relatives phoning them all hours of the night asking for a new washing-machine/fridge/computer, they have a hard enough time trying to pay all the bills & on top of that they have to send money back home to please their relatives.

Although when you think about it & you see what some of the conditions are like over there such as some family members that are poor, you'd want to help them as much as possible. Some can become too dependant if they see that they're getting alot more than they put in themselves.

Allah Tallah writes out everyones destiny, only he can provide & he knows best.
Posted 10 Mar 2008

MAA says
Sanumayaz/cathy. U r the one who is speaking from ONE point of view, that is YOURS. The sister has no bloody haq unless she is hungry and has no roof over her head. She has no bloody right. Why dont u go back and read my message carefully. Me and my husband do not even have a house of our own, we live in MY parents house. We are saving to buy a house, I dont mind if he sends them monthly kharcha cos he should. Now we are going to have a baby and we have to think millions of times before we go and buy any clothes for our kid because we cannot afford it. My husband's salary is not enough to even buy a house and pay bills. Allah janda how we will be able to do so. I can't work now since the baby is coming.

His sisters should not ask for gold and mobile phones because my husband has not even got a home. My husbands duty is firstly towards me.to give me a house and to provide for me.

When my husband can buy a house, pay his bills and put food in his wife's stomach and his childs then his SELFISH sisters can ask for stuff.

If u r a sister with a brother and sister in same situation as my husband..then I would ask u to please consider what I am saying, peoples marriages are destroyed due to selfish and greedy in-laws.

If a man cannot provide his wife with HER HAQ then what right do his sisters have for gold jewellery and cars and mobile phones?

His family are liars.they told my husband that they owe money and cannot afford the daughters wedding expenses.I told my husband to send them a lot of money from our savings. Then I found out his sister bought a tv, fridge, microwave, dvd player, £500 bed, 3 gold jewellery sets, dining table, wardrobe, coffee table.then she ran out of money to buy a sofa and cried on the phone to my husband. JUSTIFY that sanumayaz.

Oh yeh they cant afford kharcha they said.then they told my husband that his brothers and sisters think its embarassing that they dont have a car so they HAD to buy one.

ALL LIES.
Posted 11 Mar 2008

MAA says
Thank you miss scorpio.at least someone understands.
Posted 11 Mar 2008

MAA says
AASERA, u talk sense girl.
Posted 11 Mar 2008

MAA said:

Thank you miss scorpio.at least someone understands.



No problem hun.
Posted 11 Mar 2008

MAA said:

Sanumayaz/cathy. U r the one who is speaking from ONE point of view, that is YOURS. The sister has no bloody haq unless she is hungry and has no roof over her head. She has no bloody right. Why dont u go back and read my message carefully. Me and my husband do not even have a house of our own, we live in MY parents house. We are saving to buy a house, I dont mind if he sends them monthly kharcha cos he should. Now we are going to have a baby and we have to think millions of times before we go and buy any clothes for our kid because we cannot afford it. My husband's salary is not enough to even buy a house and pay bills. Allah janda how we will be able to do so. I can't work now since the baby is coming.

His sisters should not ask for gold and mobile phones because my husband has not even got a home. My husbands duty is firstly towards me.to give me a house and to provide for me.

When my husband can buy a house, pay his bills and put food in his wife's stomach and his childs then his SELFISH sisters can ask for stuff.

If u r a sister with a brother and sister in same situation as my husband..then I would ask u to please consider what I am saying, peoples marriages are destroyed due to selfish and greedy in-laws.

If a man cannot provide his wife with HER HAQ then what right do his sisters have for gold jewellery and cars and mobile phones?

His family are liars.they told my husband that they owe money and cannot afford the daughters wedding expenses.I told my husband to send them a lot of money from our savings. Then I found out his sister bought a tv, fridge, microwave, dvd player, £500 bed, 3 gold jewellery sets, dining table, wardrobe, coffee table.then she ran out of money to buy a sofa and cried on the phone to my husband. JUSTIFY that sanumayaz.

Oh yeh they cant afford kharcha they said.then they told my husband that his brothers and sisters think its embarassing that they dont have a car so they HAD to buy one.

ALL LIES.



They really need to get their priorities straight, sponging off you two is not the answer & your sister-in-laws should know better.

Agreed that if they were having problems then it would be your duty to help as much as possible, but what they're doing is taking the mick. If it's not dealt with now then you'll be facing this crap for the rest of your lives & that's something I'm sure you don't need.

You're going to have to talk to them about this or they'll keep taking you for mugs. You have a baby on the way, You need to save as much as possbile cos after the lil one arrives the expenses will go up. They of all people should be encouraging you to save & not spend stupid amounts of money on them.
Posted 11 Mar 2008

Cathy says
MAA said:

Sanumayaz/cathy. U r the one who is speaking from ONE point of view, that is YOURS. The sister has no bloody haq unless she is hungry and has no roof over her head. She has no bloody right. Why dont u go back and read my message carefully. Me and my husband do not even have a house of our own, we live in MY parents house. We are saving to buy a house, I dont mind if he sends them monthly kharcha cos he should. Now we are going to have a baby and we have to think millions of times before we go and buy any clothes for our kid because we cannot afford it. My husband's salary is not enough to even buy a house and pay bills. Allah janda how we will be able to do so. I can't work now since the baby is coming.

His sisters should not ask for gold and mobile phones because my husband has not even got a home. My husbands duty is firstly towards me.to give me a house and to provide for me.

When my husband can buy a house, pay his bills and put food in his wife's stomach and his childs then his SELFISH sisters can ask for stuff.

If u r a sister with a brother and sister in same situation as my husband..then I would ask u to please consider what I am saying, peoples marriages are destroyed due to selfish and greedy in-laws.

If a man cannot provide his wife with HER HAQ then what right do his sisters have for gold jewellery and cars and mobile phones?

His family are liars.they told my husband that they owe money and cannot afford the daughters wedding expenses.I told my husband to send them a lot of money from our savings. Then I found out his sister bought a tv, fridge, microwave, dvd player, £500 bed, 3 gold jewellery sets, dining table, wardrobe, coffee table.then she ran out of money to buy a sofa and cried on the phone to my husband. JUSTIFY that sanumayaz.

Oh yeh they cant afford kharcha they said.then they told my husband that his brothers and sisters think its embarassing that they dont have a car so they HAD to buy one.
ALL LIES.




I totally Agree wid yewr point ... Duh i wasnt talkin abt selfish in laws!...

I waz talkin abt simple needy stuff ......
Duh ... Yer situation is way to different frm my point ....Sowieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

N plz dun get angry not gud fer health ..Stay happy   
Posted 11 Mar 2008

Cathy says
MAA said:

Thank you miss scorpio.at least someone understands.




I sure understand yew .... Jus giving ma point   

Posted 11 Mar 2008

kiran says
MAA main appki baar samagh saktin hon kjunke mere papa ke saath sari life
yehi prob rahi hai main app ko bata nahin sakti ke humare family ne kitna
suffer kiya hai pakistan wale relatives ki waja se per woh yahan ki prob
nahin samagh sakte per shuker hai ke mere husband ki family wale boohat
behter hain mangwate to woh bhi hain per itna zoor nahin daiti jitna normali
loog daite hain allah unko samghaye ke biwi aur bachon ka bhi husband pe
itna haq hota hai jitna ke man bap behan bhaioon ka per jo samaghdar
husband hote hain wohi manage kerna jaante hain baki to bechare puri
zindagi tang hi hote rehte hain
Posted 11 Mar 2008

MAA says
Ok cathy.maybe i got to crazy at u. sori man. Thanx for understanding. I prob took wat u sed the wrong way.

Yep miss scorpio. Im working on a strategy. My mum kinda dealt with the same thing too, so I been dealing wit dis stuff all my life.now it jus gettin way too much. Recently d sisters wanted a gold jewellery set each cos Im havin a baby. dey tink its their haq. I told my hubby it aint happenin. I told dem it aint happenin...its hard trying to keep evyone sweet witout lookin like a b i t c h on front my hubby. he dont understand dat his parents are sucking his blood. He doesnt want to beleve it. I dont want him to go against his family.he tries to keep a happy medium but he just torn between bechara.

KIRAN!!!!!!!!! hi! yehi sab ki kahani hai. Meri sab dost ki bhi yehi problem hai.
Posted 11 Mar 2008

The baby's not even born yet & they're demanding gold? Wtf? For crying out loud they can't demand that just cos you're having a baby, OK, in some families there's a tradition where gold is given out cos of the birth of a child but they should be more realistic & at least alot more considerate to you & your hubby's situation.

Lol, why can't they ask for a suit instead?

Hmmm I do feel for you & your hubby, this is supposed to be a magical time for you both & your families, you don't need their demands to overshadow your happiness.

When was the last time they contacted you & did you make it very clear that what they're asking for right now is not affordable for you both at the moment?
Posted 12 Mar 2008


It is very common in Pakistan.
Posted 12 Mar 2008

MAA says
Yeh i did make it clear as I always do. But d ting is my hubby lives in a dreamworld..he thinks he can provide everything for everyone. Its a crazy situation man. These people are rabid hungry dogs. Lol dont worry I will handle the situation for def. Just need to convince hubby dat his family are vultures and he needs to control them. Its hard explaining to him, cos we had an arranged marriage (typical). I married him in pak and spent 2 weeks wit him..den 1.5 years later I applied for his visa and he came.so we have got know each other over 1.5 years (dats how long he been in uk wit me now). The prob is trying to convince him slowly and bring him around to d truth.its hard cos he's knownhis family a lot longer dan me......I dont wanna lose him so Im trying to do tings carefully. Ppl's marriages fall apart due to the very same problems you know.

Now d babys coming we got responsibility so tings are starting to change and their demands are looking stupid.
Posted 12 Mar 2008

You really need to wake your hubby up to reality cos each day that goes is a day closer to the birth of your baby. Is he seriously kidding himself that he can provide for both families aswell as for the lil one on the way?

I can understand that he wants to please both but it'll put a massive strain on him & it'll only cause arguments & tears aswell as frustration between you & your families & nothing will be solved by this constant bickering.

Talk to them as much as possible & they will have to take your situation into consideration & if they don't, well that'll prove just what kind of people the really are, they should be interested in your health & well-being & not concentrating on materialistic things.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, just don't want you hurt in any-way by their stressful demands.
Posted 12 Mar 2008

Eh, I sound like an agony aunt now.
Posted 13 Mar 2008

sweetie says
u mean u sound like me lolzz
Posted 13 Mar 2008

Oh Damn!!

:O
Posted 13 Mar 2008

sweetie says
Posted 13 Mar 2008

Must you laugh, you evil child!








J/K!!
Don't kill me!
Posted 13 Mar 2008

sweetie says
oi im also aunty of jb. not a child
see my avatar title.. agony aunty

Posted 13 Mar 2008

Reply to Topic