~CHANDNI~
Age: 124
7850 days old here
Total Posts: 56416
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Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
Car Vs Computer
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour." Bill Gates continued, "Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." In response to all this goading, the GM chairman replied, "Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?" Submitted by Anurag Kansal (),
Computer Terminology ISDN - It Still Does Nothing APPLE - Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity IBM - I Blame Microsoft WWW - World Wide Wait PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding of Math NT - Network Tragedy DNS - Does Nothing Special WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System Submitted by sam 'anandhi' (), Bombay
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER TOO LONG WHEN ...
...You're writing a homework a**ignment, and get the end of the line in the middle of a sentence, tack on a '\', and continue writing on the next line.
You try to sleep, and think ... "telnet xxx.dreams.heaven"
When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause.
When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page.
When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets"
When you look for your homework using: "grep homework /dev/backpack"
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.
When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
sorestfungus
Age: 124
7479 days old here
Total Posts: 47
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
well i also agree wid NB laikin yahan tou shayad log tahayya kar k aatay hain k bas jhoot hee bolna hai jhoot k alawa agar sach kahdia tou Allah Talah gunah dingay
~CHANDNI~
Age: 124
7850 days old here
Total Posts: 56416
Points: 0
Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
sorestfungus said:
well i also agree wid NB laikin yahan tou shayad log tahayya kar k aatay hain k bas jhoot hee bolna hai jhoot k alawa agar sach kahdia tou Allah Talah gunah dingay
yeh document, yeh meetings, yeh features ki duniya, yeh insaan ke dushman, cursors ki duniya yeh deadlines ke bhooke, management ki duniya; yeh Product agar ban bhi jaaye to kya hai?
Yahaan ek khilona hai programmer ki hasti ye basti hai murda bug-fixers ki basti yahaan par to raises hai, inflation se sasti yeh Review agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?
har ek keyboard ghayal, har ek login pyaasi excel mein uljhan, winword mein udaasi yeh office hai ya aalame microsoft ki yeh Release agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?
jalaa do ise, phoonk daalo yeh monitor mere saamne se hataa daalo yeh modem tumhaara hai tumhi sambhaalo yeh computer yeh Product agar chal bhi jaaye to kya hai
~CHANDNI~
Age: 124
7850 days old here
Total Posts: 56416
Points: 0
Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
Some of the Bruce Lee's one liners - Little knowledge of Hindi or Urdu can help
What is Bruce Lee's dog's name? - Ju Lee What is Bruce Lee's favorite vegetable? - Mu Lee (Radish in Hindi) Who is the greatest fan of Bruce Lee? - Malaya Lee What does Bruce Lee like to have for lunch ? - Tha Lee What happens to the theatre once a Bruce Lee movie is over ? Kha Lee What is Bruce Lee's sister-in-law's name ? - Saa Lee Bruce Lee's favorite food - Id Lee Bruce Lee's favorite festival - Diwa Lee Bruce Lee's favourite picnic spot - Mana Lee Bruce Lee's favorite tree - Im Lee Bruce Lee's favourite Actress - Sona lee Whom did Bruce Lee worship? - Ka Lee Bruce Lee's favourite Music - Qawa lee What is Bruce Lee's most interesting job? - Coo Lee When did Bruce Lee die? - Final Lee How did Bruce Lee die? - with a Go Lee
~CHANDNI~
Age: 124
7850 days old here
Total Posts: 56416
Points: 0
Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
Fellow 1 : "Now my grandfather, he knew the exact day of the year that he was going to die. It was the right year too. Not only that, but he knew what time he would die that day, and he was right about that too." Fellow 2 : "Wow, that's Incredible. How did he know all of that?" Fellow 1 : "A judge told him."
~CHANDNI~
Age: 124
7850 days old here
Total Posts: 56416
Points: 0
Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
lolz nice chating
Hello, I am very horney
Woman had a female parrot. Parrot kept saying, 'Hello, I am very horney. Do you want to have some fun?' Woman was frantic. Went to pastor to find a solution to the problem. Pastor said, 'Bring your bird to my house. I have two male parrots who read the bible and pray all the time. They will be a good influence on her.' Woman brought the parrot and put her into the cage. She squawked, 'Hello, I am very horny. Do you want to have some fun?' One male parrot looked at the other one and said, 'Put away the Bible, Fred, our prayers have been answered.'
~CHANDNI~
Age: 124
7850 days old here
Total Posts: 56416
Points: 0
Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
OH CHORRY PAKRY GAY
OO Chori pukri gai!!
Salma came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning tea and slapped him on the back of the head. "I found a piece of paper in your pant pocket with the name 'Zarina' written on it," she said, furious. "You had better have an explanation." "Calm down, honey," the man replied. "Remember last week when I was at the horse track? That was the name of the horse I bet on." The next morning, she snuck up on him and smacked him again. "What was that for?" he complained. "Your horse called last night."
