RAP

lolzz nice

interestin..

wt about mashraqi gori mam..??

                SINGH'N RAP 2


   O Balle Balle Balle ... YO YO YO!
   The maddest and the baddest is back again
   With another wild rap to drive you insane


   So whoz the story 'bout this time?
   Well its all 'bout Jeet - me partner'n rhyme


   Remember the dude who married a gori?
   Well he's back again in yet another story !!


   Refresh your minds when the dude got dumped
   When Gina suddenly said ciao and left him stumped


   Now a year has passed since that sorrowful day
   And our veer has since come a long way


   He wrote a dozen letters to his dear mum
   Saying "Maaf Karna Ji, I was a real bum!"


   "Arranged Marriage,
    Buss Arranged Marriage is the only true way
    That an ishq connection will forever stay"


   "Valentine's Day is almost here
    And the smell of ishq is in the air!"


   "So mummy ji, please find me a sohni vohti
    Who'll make me the saag and maki di roti"


   His mum read the letters and wept with joy
   What wonderful words to hear from her boy!


   "Oh Jeetya, mera beta, aja mera raja
    I forgive you I forgive you so aja vayee aja"


   "There's a beautiful and dutiful vohti for you
    So chhaytee vapas aja and we'll find her for you"


   Jeet jumped on a plane the very next day
   And was soon back home eating paronthhay


   Mummy ji then opened the album
   And asked Jeet to make his selection


   There was Neeti from Ludhiana and Preeti from Patiala
   And Meena from Samrala and Reena from Ambala!


   The photos of girls went on and on ...
   And Jeet kept looking until 'twas dawn!


   It sure was hard trying to choose
   So Jeet thought ...
   Let's meet them all there's nothing to lose!


   His head was now spinning outta control
   As he pulled out the dice and began to roll!


   Three showed up, so who could that be?
   Yep that meant a trip to see Preeti!


   They got to Patiala just before four
   And Preeti's father opened the door


   They talked and talked for a quite a long while
   And man, was it great to see everyone smile!


   But then her dad learnt all 'bout Gina ...
   Could Preeti marry Jeet? ... Na jee na!


   Jeet's mum tried real hard to change his mind
   Hoping that those events could be put behind ...


   Mera beta is a top scientist in New York city
   Working for a company making plenty of money


   He drives a Toyota - yes a phully-loaded Camry!
   And has a beautiful condo in the city


   He is a caring and loving young man ofcourse
   So let's not talk about his innocent divorce!


   But Preeti's father was hard to convince
   And in his eyes, Jeet was no prince!


   So that then called for a trip to Jalandhar
   To meet an MBBS girl called Narinder


   She was sitting and reading on the balcony
   Buried in a tome that read Human Anatomy


   She wore glasses so thick - Jeet could swear ...
   They were the latest in bullet-proof designer wear!


   He asked her then if her nickname was Nerd
   But she just looked away not saying a word!


   Jeet then decided to show off his knowledge
   By recalling something he'd learnt in college


   The human body has 200 bones do you know ...
   ... 206 she interrupted but children have more


   She then began naming them all
   And Jeet just smiled and stared at the wall


   She talked about Caesarean sections
   And about heart bypass operations


   But when the subject changed to vasectomies
   Jeet just cringed and said: "Mummy, next please!"


   So then to Jagraon they went to see Mohno
   But Jeet messed up when he said: "Ki haal ai Moto!"


   She glared at him right in the eye
   And Jeet knew right then it was goodbye!


   So the barfi and laddoo were still nowhere in sight
   And everyone by now was dying for a bite!


   In Chandigarh, Raunki was his mother's first choice
   Who just loved to hear the sound of her own voice


   She talked and talked and talked and talked
   So Jeet just gave up and out he walked!


   And then 'twas time to meet Jasmeen
   A kurri from Delhi who was only nineteen


   She opened the door and said:
   "Hi, aap kaisay ho?"
   And Jeet looked up and said "Oh no!"


   What had happened to our piyaari boli?
   That was the problem with the folks in Delhi!


   In Ludhiana city, Jeet then met Neeti
   An interesting girl though she looked past thirty!


   And then down the road he went to see Reena
   But her name sounded too much like Gina!


   Mummy ji was now getting upset
   On seeing how picky Jeet could get!


   "Oh tu Jinny gori de naal na compare kar, rajay
    Punjabi larkian vee bahut sohnian hundian ay
    Yaad rakh ... beautiful te dutiful ...
    Ay kurrian gulab de phul vargian hundian ay!"


   So next in line was Moni ...
   A pretty young woman with a Home Science degree


   She was cooking in the kitchen when Jeet got there
   Wow! Now his cupboard at least would never be bare!


   But she brandished the belNa in such a way
   That Jeet signaled his mum "cholo chaliyay!"


   Jeet was now quite depressed
   His life was more than totally messed


   Rano turned him down because he was clean shaven
   and Mano said no because he was five-feet-seven!


   His mum's favorite words came to mind: "gulab de phul"
   But now all he could think of was: "gobi de phul!"


   Jeet decided to hit the local dhaba
   And sat down to have an alloo da parontha


   He just had taken his second bite
   When he suddenly choked on a lovely sight


   There she stood the woman of his dreams
   Balle oh balle ... the queen of queens!


   She was the prettiest woman he had ever seen
   Prettier than any model in Vogue magazine!


   But then he remembered he was in Ludhiana
   And asking her for a date was totally mana!


   There sure had to be another way
   To at least say hi before she walked away


   Jeet's eyes were glued in one direction
   What was to be his plan of action?


   But right at that moment came Jeet's biggest blow
   When a kid ran up to her saying ..
   "Mummy mummy, let's go!"


   Jeet raised his arms in despair
   What rotten luck he had to bear!


   He called up Madmats the very next day
   Saying he was packing his bags for Norway!


   I hear out there that girls are real fine
   Who think that dark guys are totally sublime


   So all ye ladies in the house
   Please help my veer find a spouse


   He's losing his hair at an alarming rate
   So he's got to marry before it's too late!


   Madmats too is longing for some jalebi
   And how can you forget - a wonderful bhabhi!


   So please give Jeet some sound advice
   So he never ever needs to roll the dice!!
               
           kenchee aitho(n) maro--

nice

ab yahan pay symbols war shorou mat kar dinna ok

Bholaji is the english teacher in a school.
He is very well renowned for all his students do very well in exams.
The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the english class.
This is what transpires :
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN,
MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA ,
GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious.
He confronts the principal and shouts at him
"What is this Bholaji teaching his students.
He is supposed to be taking an english class
and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
GADHA , GADHE KE
PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH.
The principal too is shocked, the famous english teacher doing this.
Principal : "Bholaji what nonsense are you telling these students
"GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Bholaji : "Yes i was telling all this in class,
but i was only teaching the students the spelling of ASSASSINATION.
ASS - ASS - I - NATION
(GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH)

lolzzzzzz

ab aik maulvi saheb ka joke
Entry to Heaven

A maulvi saheb dies and waits in line at the "Jannat" Gates.
Just ahead of him is a guy in casual shalwar kurta.
Farishta (angel) addresses this guy, "Who are you, so
that I may know whether or not to admit you to Heaven?"


The guy replies, "I'm Rehmat Khan, Mini Bus driver from
Karachi."

Farishtaji consults his list, smiles and says to Rehmat
Khan, "Enter into the Kingdom."

So Pakistani driver enters Heaven and the maulvi saheb
is next in line. He stands erect. Without being asked,
he proclaims, "I am Maulana Aansari of Jama Masjid in
Chuk 55 of Punjab for the last 43 years."


Farishtaji consults his list and says, "I am sorry, you
are on waiting list. You have to pass some tests before
you get entry to the Kingdom of Heaven."

Maulvi Saheb says, "Just a minute. That man was a Mini
Bus driver, and you issued him instant entry. But I
have to go through more tests. How can this be?"

Farishtaji says,"Up here, we go by results. While you
preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."

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