Laugh out Loud

Customer : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.

Waiter : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.

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Customer : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.

Waiter : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.

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Customer : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.

Waiter : So what! do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?

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Customer : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?

Waiter : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.

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Customer : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.

Waiter : Funny? But why aren't you laughing?

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Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?

Father : No. Why do you ask that?

Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?

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Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and

one is blue with red spots!

Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.

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Wife : Do you want dinner?

Husband : Sure, what are my choices?

Wife : Yes and no.

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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!! "

Second Guy : "You're fortunate, mine's still alive."

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A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in

the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order,

order." The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you,your honour, I'll have a

scotch and soda."

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Customer : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two days

time?

Post Master : Well it might do.

Customer : I bet you, it won't.

Post Master : Why not?

Customer : It's addressed to Johor.

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An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist.

'My trouble is,' he said, 'that I keep forgetting things.'

'How long has this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.

'How long has what been going on?' said the man.

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1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!

2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.

1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

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Man : How old is your father?

Boy : As old as me.

Man : How can that be?

Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

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Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"

Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field

Teacher : How?

Student : Ladies first.

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Man : Where are you from?

Woman : U.S.A.

Man : Are you here on vacation?

Woman : No! I'm here for lunch.

Man : What!!! All the way from the United States of America!!!

Woman : No! Upper Serangoon Avenue.

Man : !!@#$%^*!*#

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A lady went to a restaurant and ordered a bowl of soup.

Lady : Waiter, what is this soup called?

Waiter : It is called special chicken soup.

Lady : But I see no chicken in it!

Waiter : That's why it's so special!

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Question : Why did you throw the butter out of the window ?

Answer : I wanted to see a butterfly.