X-balli
Age: 125
6402 days old here
Total Posts: 1776
Points: 0
Location:
United States, United States
A middle aged woman lived alone except for her pet, a male parrot. The woman was very proud of her parrot because it would sit in the bottom of its cage, cross its wings, and pray. She was also a devout church goer and would often brag to the congregation about her faithful parrot.
One day the women was boasting about her parrot's prayers. An older gentleman was simply amazed by this. ''I have a female parrot and she's just terrible. My son raised her and all she does is curse. She's the most foul mouthed creature I've ever heard,'' he sighed. ''Maybe if we put my parrot with your parrot he would teach mine how to pray and stop cursing so much.''
The woman readily agreed to this and a few days later the gentleman brought his parrot by. The woman's parrot sat praying in the bottom of the cage as they placed the female inside with him. The parrot instantly stopped praying, hopped up, looked the female over and shouted, ''Hot damn!! This is what I've been praying for!!''
X-balli
Age: 125
6402 days old here
Total Posts: 1776
Points: 0
Location:
United States, United States
Bill Gates and General Motors
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors.
"If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."
"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
X-balli
Age: 125
6402 days old here
Total Posts: 1776
Points: 0
Location:
United States, United States
Jock vs. Nerd
$ Michael Jordan having "retired," with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not.
$ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head.
$ If he goes to see a movie, it'll cost him $7.00, but he'll make $18,550 while he's there.
$ If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he'll make $618 while boiling it.
$ He makes $7,415/hr more than minimum wage.
$ He'll make $3,710 while watching each episode of Friends.
$ If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90,000) it would take him a whole 12 hours.
$ If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2.00 every second.
$ He'll probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33,390 for that round.
$ Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into a tax deferred account (401k), his contributions will hit the federal cap of $9500 at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st.
$ If you were given a penny for every 10 dollars he made, you 'd be living comfortably at $65,000 a year.
$ He'll make about $19.60 while watching the 100 meter dash in the Olympics, and about $15,600 during the Boston Marathon.
$ While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he'll pull in about $5600.
$ This year, he'll make more than twice as much as all U.S. past presidents for all of their terms combined.
Amazing isn't it? However...
$ If Jordan saves 100% of his income for the next 450 years, he'll still have less than Bill Gates has today.
$$$ Game over. Nerd wins.
how r u? welcome to JB 
oyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! BALI kisi say nahee darta 
lol
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