~CHANDNI~
Age: 124
7795 days old here
Total Posts: 56416
Points: 0
Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
. American scientists dug 50 metres under the ground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time America announced that the ancient Americans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network...
Naturally the government of India was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 metres down, they found small pieces of Glass and they soon announced that the ancient Indians 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibrenet...
Pakistani scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 metres underground but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Pakistanis 55,000 years ago had Wireless (cellular) telephones.
2. Through the center of Lahore theres the new Indo-Pak Samjhauta Express speeding along...
In one compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful young woman, on old matronly woman, an indian and a pakistani....
Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel. It is completely dark, then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Indian is holding the side of his face and the Pakistani is grinning his face off.
The old matronly woman thinks ' Now thats a fine young woman, the indian tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one! '
The young woman is thinking ' Now thats a strange indian, he'd rather kiss that old woman then me! '
The indian is thinking ' Now that's a smart pakistani! , he steals the kiss i'm the one who gets slapped '
The pakistani is thinking ' Gee i'm smart!! The train goes through the tunnel, i kiss the back of my hand and get away with slapping an indian
3. "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.
"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.
"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
4. Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph?
Joseph: Because of a sign down the road.
Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late?
Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"
5. "Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.
"Well, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.
"No." replied the boy.
"I'm the principal's daughter." said the girl.
"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.
"No," she replied.
"Thank goodness!" said the boy with a sign of relief.
6. 'Doctor, Doctor, Youve got to help me - i just cant stop my hands shaking!'
'Did you drink a lot?'
'Not really - most of it spilled out!'
7. Patient: I always see spots before my eyes.
Doctor: Didnt the new glasses help?
Patient: Sure, now i see the spots much clearer.
8. A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends
when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
"Oh, we'll never need that. My husband and I have a great relationship," the wife explained. "He was a communications major in college, and I majored in theater arts.
He communicates really well, and I just act like I'm listening."
9.Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
10. wife comes in and yells, "Honey! Pack your clothes! I just won the lottery!"
Her husband yells back, "But should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?"
The wife replies, "I don't care! Just get the hell out!"
