recently Hrihik Roshan n Priyanka chopra is in town fo shooting!!!1

My colleague's daughter is soo lucky she gotta take pics wif him twice at both diff locations....
update more later


ciau

main kya Likhoon?

niceee

aaj kya kiya me ne

dear journal

today i ate 10 pakora's 2 samosa's 3 plates of fruit chat 2 pepsi mugs, n then i didnt offer prayers



im a bad man.

MY KIND OF TOPIC...
let me start with my hopeless ramblings that will get me nowhere......

why does it feel like it's never going to end? i keep dragging it on, and yes it's my fault, but i don't deserve ALL this now do i? i miss you very much, and if you do not know this by now, you're stupid. i want you to forget me, i want you to stop calling me, i want you to move on. i'll say i have. and maybe if i say it enough, i can believe it. let me go, and i'll do the same. why do i hang on to something that's pointless?is it worth it? is it worth my time? it was never like that. make it easy, and quit. becuase i'm not giving in

i cannot cry because i know that's a weakness in your eyes. i am forced to fake a smile, a laugh every day of my life. my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to begin with. because of you i find it hard not only to trust you but everyone else around me. i watched you die, i heard you cry every night in your dreams, i was so young you should have known better than to lean on me.

that's the kind of look that defies gravity. she's got her perfect friends oh isn't she cool. she never loses her nerve SHES MORE THAN YOU DESERVE

don't bother
i will die
i promise you will never see me cry
don't feel sorry
don't bother i'll be fine
be unkind

it's not my last life at all
don't bother
i won't die
of deception
i promise you won't ever see me cry
don't feel sorry don't bother i'll be fine but she's waiting...

-Maryam.

dear journal

ill meet u tomorrow
bye

dear journal....


haiz! finally i have had the time to write to u....

life has been too hectic for me... well wat else can one expect when living in spore?

aniwae i read abt maryam story and it touched me a lot...

i hope she will be just fine....

oh... now tat ramadhan is coming near itz end, i'm getting sad and sad everyday coz eid is not somethjing tt i look forward to.... y? coz ... letz not waste time and talk abt tat....


daily life is just work work work and work....

but i feel very peaceful this month as i got to bring myself closer to ALLAH....

oh, and i'm glad Rahul is in a nice place now may his soul rest in peace, amin!


Daud.... y does he loves to hurt me so much?











guess he takes me for granted.... y am i being so stoopid?





aniwae.... i wish i could get the love from everyone in this world as i noe i'll always be alone.....


i hate being lonely....

last but not least i love everyone in this world i believe even those bad ones has some goodness i them....




ciau!

Dear JB journal,
please don't tell my dead journal that i am updating you and not it, it will hurt its feelings.

it is holloween, i am a witch, don't need to dress like one, but will watch horror movies all night.

today i slept until very late, missed my lecture because i wasn't feeling well and had a great time chatting with my friends,

tomarrow my sir will want to see my log calculations which i haven't finished because i am updating you and spending time on the net.

this week i will go to only my close friend's houses for eid and just phone or text all the other bitches.

saturday is bonfire night and i will have a blast.

dear journal

i went out on aftari
as always
n i think i shouldent write in u
also i dont have time to play football
gotta start again after ramzan
goin to pind on eid
well
wateva
bubuye

cant tell

Dear journal jee,

I went to the new Sikh shop today - - - they have beautiful earings!!! respect for the Sikh trades men

Working all day on wednesday

Our family friend is moving into our house next week, my parents and brothers love him, and I guess he is okay. we went to college together and i used to always be on his case for smoking

maryam u need help ?

Dear Journal jee,

very p*ssed off while writing this.
feeling apathatic and depressed after
several weeks.

Was happy
until I told him
I woudl brb
and he was gone

dear journal

i went outside on mini chand raat
n enjoyed
ate lots of food from gawalmandi
made new friends
da usual

bye

^

Dear Journal
Ill be happy if you let me be happy

And Ill make you happy if you make me happy

Im coocoo....

Dear Journal,

How much longer is it going to be? How much longer am I going to avoid things? I bottle up everything inside me, and I fear that one day, I might not be able to endure it any longer. What am I going to do when things finally fall apart; when I collapse under this pressure? These thoughts run through my head and as I sit here trying to make sense of it all, I cry. I cry because there’s nothing else I can do. I cry because it helps. I cry because I feel vulnerable and weak. I want what I can’t have; I want what can’t be. Why do I want it so much? One of these days, it’s bound to happen, I’ll buckle under the pressure and I’ll disappoint you all.

Well I’ve been afraid of changing cause I’ve built my life around you, but time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I’m getting older too.

-Maryam

hey maryam i felt worried for u after raeding ur story in the journal ru alrite? u seemed troubled somewhere perhaps more to emotionally depressed?

feel free to share if u need a listening ear....

Dear Journal...

Hmm....Eid has finally come and Ramadhan has gone.... i'm feeling sad coz all the excitememt is gone....

lIKE EVERY OTHER YEAR eID IS BORING....

but this year a miracle happened.... all my cousins tat has not contacted me for two years suddenly all come to my house for visiting on the 3rd day of eid!


i fall ill on sat and vomiteed a lot.... all tat came out were acid! so foolish of me to take panadols w/o food.... luckiliy my bestfren were there along wif my parents i couldn't even stand after vomitting!


Thank God after the jab in my left arm i didn't vomit else i would already haev been admitted in the Hospital....


My Mom were so worried tat she cried... she's so afraid tat i might died....


after i came back from the clinic all my cousins n their hubbies n kids ame over.... though i'm sick i quickly get on my feet to change and be presentable to my guests....


i went visiting to my aunt's plcae and two of my fren's plcae....

Good tat i'm on MC today, so i can relax and distressed!


my idiotic boyfren will come back nxt month to c me after so long tat he left me all alone .....


i dunno how am i gonna face him?


hearing tat my fren is getting married kinda troubleed me...

coz she barely noe her guy and suddenly they decide to get married when the guy is not having a stable job and she who is sooo young only 19! plus she haven't even been a good daughter yet how can she be a good wife or mother?

Haiz!!!!


ANd people is aking me when i'm getting married when i'm sooo distraught knowing tat the person who truly loves me had jsut died in my arms last 4 months back and the person tta i love i can;t marry him.....


y is life so complicated????!!!!



y in the first plcae did i meet this idiotic boyfren of mine?


he doesn't noe how to appreciate at all.....



haiz!!!!


i wish i could be strong enough to remain single throughout my entire life....


but some people are saying that i'm being selfish coz i'm the only child to my prnts and i shld pity them and make them happy by getting married and giving them a grandchild....


but i've ever asked my parents.... my mom doesn't mind if i were to remain single same too wif my dad onli my dad wants me to have a stable job be good in my career and of course in religion....


but of course they'll be happy to noe tat b4 they leave me i'm in good hands of like "hubby"


but again i have a feeling tat i won't get married....



if i get married then tatz called fate....


alrite jounal gotta go the cybercafe is closing down i don wanna get locked inside here....


take care




lotsa love

purplinaz

Dear Journal,

hai today i'm quite happy wif myself coz i an start eating like my good old times....

i went for "jalan raya" last saturday wif 3 of my classmates n considered good frens.... we went to each other's house n our art teacher's hse....

since we are already grown up, we do not get the "collection" money anymore....

sometimes itz good to be a kid.... u get to run away
from things n mistakes n be treated well.....

well fortunately like every year we got "collection" money from our kind teacher.... though itz not much, we still feel happy....


it brings back the feeling of being a kid....


as usual every year i sent out loads of Eid cards but only got a couple in return....

nobody remembers me already n they dun bother to even tell me if they've received the cards.....


aniwae tatz ok.... i'm fine wif it....

wat upsets me most is tat my irritating bf sent me a terribly late eid card!!!

i only received it after 2 weeks of Eid!


tat too he knew tat i've sent him d card else he won't bother to send me one.....


i dunno y i kinda have a feeling tat he's married n he's not telling me the truth....

it didn't came to me tat way at first but later after thinking abt wat my mom said... hey! it could be true u noe.... coz his prnts is desperate for a daughter in law n he too can't wait to be married!!!1


gosh! i dunno y i still can patiently n loyally wait for him to c me here after 8 months of no meeting each other?

not only tat we seldom talk or sms each other u can say tat it happens once in a blue moon....


or maybe the moon in m'sia drops tatz when he calls me....



oh now enuff of him.... letz get abck on track....


hmmmm... wat is my mom cooking for me tmr to pack to office?


smth nice i hope.... like everyday..... my mom is the best in the whole world!..

hopefully tmr i can go bcak early just like today.... itz very tiring to stay overtime nearly everyday!!!!


my eyes just feel like they're popping out any minute!!!!


and worst!!! i'm getiing skinnier tat i look like askeleton n my eyebags r so bad tat sometimes i'm afraid to look at myself in the mirror......


tatz y one shldn't fall too deeply in love wif anyone or even haf a complicated love story trust me u'll only end up being just like me!!!!

SKELETON!


alrite now.....

before i go.... i would like to pray for all the well=being of everyone in this world.... May God bless all of u.....

love everybody! Muacks!!!!



Take care gd9 sweet dreamz.....


Zzzzzzz......


Zzzzzz.....




Zzzzzz......





lotsa love n purple hugs,


Purplinaz!    

DEAR JOURNAL...

SATTHIYAH NAAHS SAAREYAN DI!!!

Dear JB journal,
i got back home yesterday! missed my family and friends like mad. the trip was great, still not telling where exactly i went though i meet some great people and learned loads of stuff, some increadibly benificial and some... not so but at least i now know what PATASA is!

dear journal.....


    finally today i have had the tiem to write in to u.....

been so bz wif work n stuffs....

guess wat?
i met hrithik roshan the other day! haahhha
cool huh? i saw him doing the shooting for the movie "grish"..... but i dunlike his dad! arrogant fellow.....

i went to my colleague's niece's wedding last sunday it was nice.... i was shocked when my colleague actually had the intentions to pair me up wif her nephew! my goodnes.... he is handsome no doubt but..... not now i just can't open up yet.....


then ystdae nite i went for my relative's wedding.... it was excellent.... but i became a victim....

i was forced to dance to the number of Dhoom machale.....

goodness i dunno where to hide after tat!!!!


n this cuteguy jokingly porposed to me infront of everyone!!!!
hahahah.... i was kinda thrilled....


he somehow reminded me of rahul.... oh how much i miss him only Allah noes....


n this stoopid Daud never bother abt me at all.... i believe even if i die he won't come for my funeral!!!!



oh god! how come i gave my heart away to him?

alrite let'z talk abt him.....

u noe wat i learnt tat one can't get o close to a person coz when ur too close u'll end up being in bad terms wif tat person no matter how nce ur to a person.....


this kinda matters always happens to me.... i dunno y?


perhaps i'm not kind enuff?

i got sick again recently and the doc wanted to have an X-ray done for me but i didn't turn up for the appointment.


the doc just creeps me out!!!!


n she irritates me.....

i never really trust these doctors.....

evevn if i went for the X-ray and if i were meant to die, i'll die.....


oh... the photos for the eid festival is finally ready n everyone look nice in it..... but now my camera who has been so loyal to me is spoilt!


now i gotta go n buy a new camera....


i dun like to replace my things.....


i love my camera....

yikes i'm having sore throat already.....


by the way i miss everyone here in JB.....

hope u guys are all doing well n happy n fine.....


let us all pray for each other to have a wonderful life every day.....


alritey guess i'll take my leave now.....


ciao! muacks!!!!

sleeeping

maryam.:

MY KIND OF TOPIC...
let me start with my hopeless ramblings that will get me nowhere......

why does it feel like it's never going to end? i keep dragging it on, and yes it's my fault, but i don't deserve ALL this now do i? i miss you very much, and if you do not know this by now, you're stupid. i want you to forget me, i want you to stop calling me, i want you to move on. i'll say i have. and maybe if i say it enough, i can believe it. let me go, and i'll do the same. why do i hang on to something that's pointless?is it worth it? is it worth my time? it was never like that. make it easy, and quit. becuase i'm not giving in

i cannot cry because i know that's a weakness in your eyes. i am forced to fake a smile, a laugh every day of my life. my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to begin with. because of you i find it hard not only to trust you but everyone else around me. i watched you die, i heard you cry every night in your dreams, i was so young you should have known better than to lean on me.

that's the kind of look that defies gravity. she's got her perfect friends oh isn't she cool. she never loses her nerve SHES MORE THAN YOU DESERVE

don't bother
i will die
i promise you will never see me cry
don't feel sorry
don't bother i'll be fine
be unkind

it's not my last life at all
don't bother
i won't die
of deception
i promise you won't ever see me cry
don't feel sorry don't bother i'll be fine but she's waiting...

-Maryam.

maryam i like the way u expressed ur self though i know its alll so depressin but i wud say u got skills man writin skills ... writin ur mind out will give ya relief n v all r here to share them...cheers

relief for maryam,pain for us