>A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat. She asked him if it
>was dead or alive.
> > > "Dead." She was informed.
> > > "How do you know?" she asked her pupil.
> > > "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
> > > innocently.
> > > "You did WHAT?!?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
> > > "You know," explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
> > > didn't move."
> > > _________________________________________________
> > > A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
> > > Five minutes later....
> > > "Da-ad...."
> > > What?
> > > "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
> > > "No. You had your chance. Lights out."
> > > Five minutes later:
> > > "Da-aaaad....."
> > > "WHAT?"
> > > "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
> > > "I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
> > > Five minutes later......
> > > "Daaaa-aaaad....."
> > > "WHAT!"
> > > "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
> > > _______________________________________________
> > > An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief,
> > finally
> > > asked him, "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it
> > over
> > > and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming
>the
> > > door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay
> > out!'"
> > > _______________________________________________
> > > One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking
>her
> > > son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a
> > > tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?"
> > > The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she
> > said.
> > > "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
> > > A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big
> > > sissy."
_______________________________________________

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old
> > came
> > > into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
> > > She said,"Mommy, you are getting fat!"
> > > I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy."
> > > "I know," she replied, "But what's growing in your butt?"

> > _______________________________________________
> > > One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little
> > to
> > > her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried
> > to
> > > warn the farmer. She read, ".... and so Chicken Little went up to the
> > > farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher
> > > paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?"
> > > One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit!
>A
> > > talking chicken!'"
> > > The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes