Here are some actual label instructions on
>consumer goods.
>
>On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
>(darn, and that's the only time
>I have to work on my hair).
>
>On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase
>necessary. Details
>inside. (the shoplifter special?)
>
>On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular
>soap." (and that would be
>how???....)
>
>On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
>Defrost." (but, it's "just"
>a suggestion).
>
>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
>not turn upside down."
>(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot
>after heating." (...and
>you thought????...)
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes
>on body." (but wouldn't
>this save me more time?)
>
>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car
>or operate machinery after
>taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce
>the rate of construction
>accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with
>head-colds off those
>forklifts.)
>
>On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
>(and...I'm taking this
>because???....)
>
>On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
>outdoor use only." (as
>opposed to...wh! at?)
>
>On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the
>other use." (now,
>somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
>curious.)
>
>On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk
>about a news flash!)
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions:
>Open packet, eat nuts."
>(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for
>this one: On a child's
>superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
>enable you to fly."
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain
>with your hands."
>(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
>
>Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn
>to spread the stupidity
>have a wonderful day.