i think it;s all "BS"...

reason? only one...God created us all equals..ye cast system we humans made it...so when God didn;t descriminate between us humans then why should we descriminate other casts when giving rishta

EXACTLY..........BUT PPL DON'T SEE IT THAT WAY

shahrukh khan:

well they just look at cast....comeon think abt her life..she has to spent

would u rather marry a girl in high cast where guy is drunk, abussive, ggresuve, got no respect for no one...or would u rather marry a girl in low cast with nice and shareef guy who is caring and respectful? is money everything?

shahrukh khan:

arey yaar parents just see casts,,,,nothing else...larkay ko is khandaan se hona chhaiyey,,,family main ho...bas...shadi...family wale agge se kharab....now...larki ki zindagi ho gayee kharab

where i got my nikah... ...her dad never asked where i work, what do i study or my education...all he wanted to know was bout my character and if i am a nice guy and in-touch with religion...dat's all... ()i was susprised )

NO WAY, U SHOULD ONLY LOOK TO SEE IF THEY ARE MUSLIM, NOT CAST A PERSONS RELIGION FIRST, THEN ALL OTHER ASPECTS AND CAST SHOULD NOT EVEN BE AN ISSUE AS LONG AS SHE IS HAPPY, I MEAN SHE REALLY LOVED THIS GUY, N HE WAS A DECENT GUY, SHE WAS SOOO SURE HER DAD WOULD APPROVE, BUT HE DIDN'T, I'M NOT SURE WHETHER IT WAS BACAUSE OF HIS CAST OR HE JUST FELT LIKE IT, IT WAS PROBABLY A DIGNITY THING U KNOW (HUMARI BETI HUMEIN MOOHN DEKHANE K LAYEK NAHI NAHIN RAKHA)OR HE WANTED HER 2 MARRY BAK HOME OR IN THE FAMILY

SohniKuddi:

NO WAY, U SHOULD ONLY LOOK TO SEE IF THEY ARE MUSLIM, NOT CAST A PERSONS RELIGION FIRST, THEN ALL OTHER ASPECTS AND CAST SHOULD NOT EVEN BE AN ISSUE AS LONG AS SHE IS HAPPY, I MEAN SHE REALLY LOVED THIS GUY, N HE WAS A DECENT GUY, SHE WAS SOOO SURE HER DAD WOULD APPROVE, BUT HE DIDN'T, I'M NOT SURE WHETHER IT WAS BACAUSE OF HIS CAST OR HE JUST FELT LIKE IT, IT WAS PROBABLY A DIGNITY THING U KNOW (HUMARI BETI HUMEIN MOOHN DEKHANE K LAYEK NAHI NAHIN RAKHA)OR HE WANTED HER 2 MARRY BAK HOME OR IN THE FAMILY

yes, but as a muslim...we can actually marry any ehl-e-kitan ...which is muslims, christians and jews

REALLY? SEE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT

SohniKuddi:

REALLY? SEE I DIDN'T KNOW THAT

well, now u know

1st reason, pakis bewakoof hote hein
2nd, magroor/complexed hote hein
3rd, lalchi hote hein

that s y they look for someone rich, belonging to a "higher" cast, without thinking abt reasons or conseq

Islam mei sirf mo'min hona shart hai
aur jiss baat ka khyal rakha jae woh hai k ache mard k liye achi aurtein,,
that s it,,,,
ehl e kitab wali baat sahi bhi hai aur galt bhi
we had a topic abt it in religion and for the first time mujhe iss ka reason samajh aaya aur conditions bhi

SALL:

ehl e kitab wali baat sahi bhi hai aur galt bhi
we had a topic abt it in religion and for the first time mujhe iss ka reason samajh aaya aur conditions bhi

i would like to know what u think is wrong

bazu yarr,, tang na kar
galt woh conditions hein jinn mei aaj kal ehl e kitab se shadi ki jati hai
exactly like 4 shadi jaiz hai par sirf tab jab conditions poori ki ja'ain


religion mei khud dhoondo topic

Bazigaar:

SohniKuddi:

NO WAY, U SHOULD ONLY LOOK TO SEE IF THEY ARE MUSLIM, NOT CAST A PERSONS RELIGION FIRST, THEN ALL OTHER ASPECTS AND CAST SHOULD NOT EVEN BE AN ISSUE AS LONG AS SHE IS HAPPY, I MEAN SHE REALLY LOVED THIS GUY, N HE WAS A DECENT GUY, SHE WAS SOOO SURE HER DAD WOULD APPROVE, BUT HE DIDN'T, I'M NOT SURE WHETHER IT WAS BACAUSE OF HIS CAST OR HE JUST FELT LIKE IT, IT WAS PROBABLY A DIGNITY THING U KNOW (HUMARI BETI HUMEIN MOOHN DEKHANE K LAYEK NAHI NAHIN RAKHA)OR HE WANTED HER 2 MARRY BAK HOME OR IN THE FAMILY

yes, but as a muslim...we can actually marry any ehl-e-kitan ...which is muslims, christians and jews

BUT ISN'T THAT MUSLIM MEN AND NOT WOMEN WHO CAN MARRY ANY OF THE PEOPLE OF THE BOOK? COS M SURE I WAS TOLD THIS...THE MAIN PURPOSE WOULD BE TO SPREAD ISLAM, AND IF A WOMAN MARRIES OUTSIDE ISLAM, THIS WOULD DO NOTHING FOR THE SPREAD OF OUR RELIGION.

SO WHAT WAS THAT TOPIC IN RELIGION CALLED?

SALL:

1st reason, pakis bewakoof hote hein
2nd, magroor/complexed hote hein
3rd, lalchi hote hein

that s y they look for someone rich, belonging to a "higher" cast, without thinking abt reasons or conseq

Islam mei sirf mo'min hona shart hai
aur jiss baat ka khyal rakha jae woh hai k ache mard k liye achi aurtein,,
that s it,,,,
ehl e kitab wali baat sahi bhi hai aur galt bhi
we had a topic abt it in religion and for the first time mujhe iss ka reason samajh aaya aur conditions bhi

AGREE

Our beloved prophet set for us a very golden principle of being realistic and balanced. He stated four reasons for a man to marry a woman; Her beauty, her richness, her lineage, and her practice of religion. All reasons are valid and permissible but the most preferable is marrying someone for her devotion and practice of religion. This applies to women also. Remember the choice is always of the one who is getting married.

In Paki society, people are on extreme ends. Parents think they can make best choices for children and children think parents are oppressive and they can make their decisions in their own best interest.
In the materialist society, parents think and believe that their children's future is protected by wealth and material only. Children, on the other hand believe that just love between the two is enough to live happily.

Lost are both sides to the temptations and whims. It is the combination of both that makes life pleasant and joyful. There were companions of prophet whose wives and children will see their husband / father off every morning with a reminder that we can survive will little provisions so don't earn anything haram. We will be patient with whatever little we get.

We dropped the ball somewhere. We have lost the belief that their is only one gaurantee of provisions, happiness, love and joy, i.e our Lord and Creator. It is His glorious attribute that He joins the heart and creates affection between them and bestows provisions to its creations.

For marriages with people of the book, its only permissible to men of faith with women of the people of the book who are chaste and practising their religion.

main thing is, i dont believe in it, u dont belive in it
dats fine wid both of us!

Smooth_daddy:

For marriages with people of the book, its only permissible to men of faith with women of the people of the book who are chaste and practising their religion.

YEAH THATS WHAT I WAS TOLD
AGREE SRK

BadShaH1:

main thing is, i dont believe in it, u dont belive in it
dats fine wid both of us!

are you refering to marrying among people of the book or are you pointing at the question in the topic title?

I'M NOT SURE IF YOU WATCH GEO TV OR VECTONE URDU, COS THERE ARE MATCH MAKING PROGRAMS, WHERE PEOPLE SEND INFORMATION ABOUT THEMSELVES TO FIND A SUITABLE RISHTA...ON GEO THIS PROGRAM IS CALLED "SHADI ONLINE" AND ON VECTONE URDU IT'S CALLED "JEEVAN SAATHI"...WELL WHEN PEOPLE CALL IN AND SHOW DETAILS POF THEMESELVES OR SOMEONE THEY WANT A RISHTA FOR THE ISSUE OF CAST ALWAYS COMES UP, PEOPLE TEND TO ADD THAT THE WANT A RISHTA FROM THE SAME CAST AS THEY ARE, THEIR REASONS TEND TO BE BECAUSE "LOG TAHNE DETE HAIN, KHAAS KAR FAMILY WALE, KEHTE HAIN APNI CAST SE AUR KOI NAHIN MILA AUR GHATTIYA LOGON MEIN SE RISHTA KAR/DE DIYA"

CAST IS A MAIN SEARCH CRITERIA IN THESE PROGRAMS, THE WOMAN WHO PRESENTS IT ALWAYS ASKS THE PEOPLE RINGING IN WHETHER THEY WOULD MIND ABOUT CAST, THE ANSWER IN MOST CASES IS YES. MOST OF THE RISHTE ARE FROM PAKISTAN LOOKING FOR A HUSBAND/WIFE AS A BRITHISH NATIONAL WHO IS HIGHLY EDUCATED, WHATS WRONG WITH A HIGHLY EDUCATED PAKISTANI RISHTA?

NEWAYS U GUYS ARE PROBABLY WANDERING WHAT I WAS DOING WATCHING THESE PROGRAMS I JUST HAPPENED TO BE FLIKING THROUGH THE CHANNELS AND IT JUST HAPPENED TO BE ON, SO DON'T BE SCARED I WASN'T WATCHING IT FOR BUSINESS

you have 3 smilies in your post, that's a dangerous thing to do on this forum. i will therefore

Ignorance is the enemy of mankind. Education given to reinforce ignorance causes twice as damage. Education doesn't happen in classrooms only, it mostly happen outside of it, especially social and cultural grooming. Educated people who can't reason and act with wisdom are still ignorant. There's a vast difference in education and training. Appropriately trained persons'understand what is being given to them and their actions and performances are committed to their learnings.

I DON'T SEE WHAT THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE TOPIC IN QUESTION

IS THERE A LIMIT TO HOW MANY SMILIES YOU CAN HAVE IN 1 POST?

nops!
off topic replies r not allowed!
bt ur post is somewht related to the topic!

SD!..its not the emoticons!..its the context !


hve fun posting guyz!

just joking S-Kuddi
oops laughed again !!

Parents don't see it from that stand point. In their mind they are covering all bases - norms, society, family, religion ... most of which are self-imposed.

Kids (not all) on the other hand are only driven by emotion and underate experience of their parents. When parents and kids enjoy communication, understanding and mutual trust between them, most important decisions of life can be made without serious complications.

u knw SD i totally agree!
bt i hve seen around!
evn though parents n childern hve an understandin!
whn it comes to love marriages!
or u knw marriages outside of the cast!
evrythng is forgotten

its seems so unfair!
@ 1 point thy r k0ool wid u!
n nxt min all against ur choice jst coz the guy or gal has a diff cast

your rite about that. But you know what! wid my expr, parents are not totally wrong. Though some customs are overwhelmings, but in-general, parents most valuable and precious possessions are kids. Well being of kids and their best-interests are at the heart of parents.

Its hard for me to understand that parents who spent sleepless nights to ensure our sound sleep, who fed us before feeding themselves would sacrifice happiness and life of their children for customs and caste. They usually insist on methods and customs that have produced relatively satisfactory results. While outcome of love affairs and kids emotional involvements remains an uncentain and unforeseen future with little or no proven success tract.

hmm ..thts true!
bt it can b said tht arrange marriages or marraiges widin the cast would b successful!
thts also a gamble!
no1 can knw abt future!
thn shudnt there b some kind of method or a way!
new generation can express their point of view!
widout parents gettng all angry n stuff!

Well, that's why experienced people go for tested methods. Younger gen have always thought of older one as strict and orthodox. One who can mix the experience of old with energy of young, flourishes longer and enjoys the fruits of it. One who's impulsive, whose gains are shor-lived and less fruity.

according to islam, i dont care about casts within muslims.

this is really nonsense.

in such a situation of clash, i even would not do, what my parents want me to do. sach kehne ya karne se agar kissi ka dil tootte, to tootte. and it doesnt matter, ke ammi abbu ka hai dil yeh nazuk sa ya kissi aur ka.

One who can mix the experience of old with energy of young, flourishes longer and enjoys the fruits of it.
mashallah, fully agreed with this Smooth D


Note about my this opinion

WELL, PARENTS ARE NOT THINKING OF THEIR CHILDRENS HAPPINES...THEY OUGHT TO SWALLOW THEIR PRIDE AND ALLOW THEIR CHILDREN TO THINK FOR THEMSELVES, WE COME FROM A CULTURE WITH STRONGLY BIASED VIEWS, PRIDE COMES FIRST BUT HAPPINESS IS NOT ENSURED. I THINK THESE VIEWS WILL SHADOW OUR CULTURE MAYBE FOREVER, THERE WILL ALWAYS BE BITTERNESS FOR THE LOWER CAST. "YOUR ANCESTORS USED TO SERVE MY ANCESTORS HENCE U ARE INFERIOR"

SEE, HOW DO WE KNOW THAT THESE VIEWS WILL NOT REFLECT ON THE YOUNGER GENERATION, IF CHILDREN ARE TAUGHT THAT THE ARE OF "BETTER CAST" THAN HIM OR HER, THEY ARE GOING TO GROW UP BELIEVING THAT IT'S TRUE, I HAVE COME ACCROSS MANY MY OWN AGE WHO BELIEVE THAT THIS IS COMPLETELY NORMAL, IT'S NOT SEEN THE ISLAMIC WAY.


YES CHILDREN ARE DRIVEN BY THEIR EMOTIONS, THEY DON'T SEE THIS ISSUE AS A PROBLEM, PARENTS SHOULDN'T EITHER. SO HOW MANY OF US CAN GO OUT ONE DAY AND FIND SOMEONE WHO HAS ALL THE QUALITIES YOU WANT INCLUDING THEIR CAST.

PARENTS SAY "YOU HAVE THE CHOICE OF CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER" BUT THEN THE SMALL PRINT "AS LONG AS THEY ARE OF SUPERIOR CAST" THEN THAT ISN'T EXACLTY YOUR CHOICE IS IT?