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Getting married at 16, even if..

I don't want too. It's an arranged marriage with a cousin of mine back in Pakistan. I don't want to do it, but I have to, and it's really making me feel depressed and sad. What do you think I should do?

Posted on 4/25/2009 4:04:36 PM

u should tells ur parents that u r not mentally prepare for it ...for the time being u r not b able to handle this ...

discuss it wid ur mom . . . . . em sure ur mom will listen to u

Posted on 4/25/2009 4:18:17 PM

Well, I have tried to discuss it before, and they have said their decision is final. They say Im at the marriagable age, and my cousin is too, so we must get married.

Posted on 4/25/2009 4:25:23 PM


how old is ur cousin? what if u tell ur parents to wait for one or more years. if u convince them that u will marry him, but u want to wait for atleast a year. will they agree with it?

wish u all the best, may Allah bless u with lot of hapiness

Posted on 4/25/2009 8:39:46 PM

I'm not sure they will agree to delay, but I know their minds are set on me marrying my cousin. My cousin is 25.



Posted on 4/26/2009 11:17:58 AM


what are the reasons u don't want to marry.
is it him u don't want to marry or u feel u are too young now?

Posted on 4/26/2009 6:12:28 PM


what are the reasons u don't want to marry.
is it him u don't want to marry or u feel u are too young now?


Both, kind of.

Posted on 4/27/2009 12:35:10 PM


hmmm.
then u should try to convince ur parents. will pray for u. May Allah swt help u.


Posted on 4/28/2009 10:33:38 PM

CT, I don't know enough background on what's going on in your home. I don't even know if this is a real situation. Let's assume it is a real deal, I don't know why your parents want to get you married and out of the house...could you talk to anyone in your family and would anyone listen to your side of the story?

If you refuse to sign the nikah (marriage license) how could you be forced to marry someone? Yes it will cause some embarresment and bad feelings but then somebody should have thought about that too!

Posted on 4/28/2009 11:48:02 PM

in this modern era I dont think 16 is marriageable age, isnt it the law said marriageable age is 18 ?? maybe by religion its legitimate but how to register the marriage if its underage ? I really hope u'll find the way to deal this,

Posted on 5/9/2009 7:35:49 AM

hhmmmm............

ya ur kinda young but u know pehlay loug issi age mein shadi kertay thay na n look at them they r happy??

abi tuk shadi na kernay ki koi reason clear nahi howi na hoo sakta hai may be koi strong reason hoo na......

wasy yeh bhi tu hoo sakta hai k app enagement wagaira kerwa lein phir uskay baad when u 18 or 19 shadi ker loo dat way u cud get the time to understand each other.......

khair hota tu wohi hai jo kismat mein hota hai........

Posted on 5/9/2009 3:06:15 PM

yaad just refuse because i done same like u on pressure of parents and today waiting my partener and daughter. there was sufficient age difference between us. partener was 10 years less than me. partener was 18 and i was 28 and faced problems he problems. even toaday after 81 days i dont know what is name of my daughter. becuase partner is in some other country and me so where else. i dont know where are u but must contact legal bodies and call their help.

Posted on 5/9/2009 3:50:03 PM


hi2kazmi, i don't think she should call the legal agencies or so right now. she just needs to talk to her parents. what's the reason she doesn't want to marry him? and in some way i agree with cheeta too. and i think legally marriagable age is 18, so ur parents need to wait a few years.
hope for the best for u dear. and hope u will come online to tell what happened.

Posted on 5/9/2009 10:59:38 PM

You don't have any strong argument. I think you should get married...

I got married at 18 whereas my wife was 16 at that time. We spent quite a good time together. She isn't with me anymore but I think I spent some of the best time in my life with her...

Posted on 5/11/2009 1:15:41 AM

Shaista there is no way other than this because parents out of pakistan just worry to marry daughter regardless what she wants and this creats problems in futute. people in pakistan are also complex about their future when marring abroad and hardly settle and when this girl is very young and not mature to understand the meaning of life. I faced this and have lot of examples. but may be no one can undersatand my problem. i come online at 3pm to 5pm (pakistan time). however i can be contacted at gmail with this id also.

Posted on 5/11/2009 1:27:18 PM


well, i was not attacking u or so. but sometimes it doesn't work out, like it did for castro for example. hope the best for her

Posted on 5/12/2009 12:43:26 AM

talk to your parents, complain all you can and if it doesn't work call some agency near you.


Posted on 5/12/2009 1:03:10 AM

well legally you have rights,

you can order an injunction to stop the marriage from taking place, this can be taylored to your situation and is issued by a magistrate.

in reguard to calling your partner over, you'll need to be 21, any applications made before this age will automatically be dismissed.

their are various projects and helplines you can call to get information. i do feel your very young. and i am also personally aganist marrying cousins not only because of the weaking of the gene pool, but also if one marriage breaks down all the family follows suit.

talk to your perents outline your beliefs, ISLAM dosen't allow perents to marry their children aganist their will.

inshallah you'll be ok


Posted on 5/29/2009 8:54:26 PM

you can talk to your cousin about that maybe he will do something tell his parents to wait for atleast one year maybe he will wait you can promise him that you will marry him in future

Posted on 6/4/2010 2:01:52 PM