What part did you get?
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.
His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?
He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.
] His father congratulated him. And then he said "That's good son, maybe next time you'll get a talking role!"
Local Call
Queen Elizabeth, Clinton & Sharoon died & went straight to hell.
Queen Elizabeth said "I miss my region England. I want to call England and see how everybody is doing there. "
She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Five million dollars"
She wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.
Clinton was soo jealous, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the United States I want to see how everybody is doing there too"
He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Ten million dollars"
With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.
Sharoon was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call Israil and he talked for about twenty hours, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I owe you????
The devil says "Twenty dollars".
Sharoon is stunned & says "Twenty dollars??? Only ??"
The devil says "Well if you make a call from one hell to another hell, it's local".
Mr.Shot
There was a guy name shot who was murderer and once he was caught by the police so police was chasing him and shot climbed on a tree .The captain of the police force said take off shot right now so everybody pulled off their shots.
Muslims
There were two Christians travelling on a plane. Sitting behind them was a Muslims. As they realized that a Muslims is travelling with them. They started talking loudly with each other.
James said to Tim.
Tim where r u going, hopefully to Dubai.
Tim said Nah
There are too many muslims, streets and roods are flooded with them.
James smiles and said then u must be going to Iran.
Tim said r u mad, Muslims in Iran are more fanatic and mad then Dubai.
Muslim who was listening to them could not bear it and said hey u both go to hell, for sure there would be no Muslim.
Technical Support
Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.
Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.
Tech Support: "Do you have 3 1/2 inch diskettes?"
Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"