~READ IT~

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~Mysteriousgal~

Age: 124
Total Posts: 6584
Points: 0

Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan





We can wear guys clothes. If they wear ours, they get funny looks.

Our friends don't say hello to us by punching us on the arm.


If we're on a really big ship that happens to hit an iceberg, we'll probably get first dibs on a lifeboat.

We get the bigger apartment on Friends.

Girl talk. You know, how we just understand each other without having to explain stuff.



Dark circles under the eyes? A hickey? We can just cover them up with a little concealer. (how do guys live without that stuff?)

We dont have to shave our faces. (ouch that must hurt)

We can jump around a lot and shake our hair and it looks like we know how to dance.

Justin, Carson, Ryan, Freddie, Orlando, Brad. Need I explain this one?

We get yummy chocolates and flowers from guys.

We dont have to dowse our food in Tabasco sauce just to look tough.


When we get married we get to keep our own name or choose one that we like even better.


We dont have to deal with sideburns. Whats up with those anyway?




Even if we are ugly we have make-up to fix it!



We dont have to wear tuxedos to the prom.

Nose hair, ear hair, back hair- so not a problem for us.

23. SLUMBER PARTIES! Guys just don't know how much fun those are.


That special bond we have with our moms-some day

We dont feel the need to slap our teammates butt when she makes a good play.

Nobody makes fun of us for liking Backstreet Boys or N'sync. Well almost nobody

Pick up lines. They're not something we need to practice.

We can get away with wearing platform shoes without looking goofy.

We give really really good advice

On t.v. shows we're always the ones that have coolest supernatural powers.



We can put cotton balls between our toes, paint our nails, and not feel the least bit silly.



The coolest, sweetest songs and poems have been written about us.

We dont have to sit on our wallets.

And our wallets have a place for change.

Its entirely possible that we will marry Ben Affleck some day.

Our lives do not revolve around ESPN Sports Center

We can wear dresses without getting really weird looks from people

Its not required that we learn how to spit when we are young.

We are called tomboys, Boys are called girlie.

Fiona, Tori, Sarah, Paula, Alanis, Gwen.

We have nicer handwriting than guys. Well its true.

Our magazines have Horoscopes.

We dont have to stuff boxers in our jeans.



Girls with guy first names (like Joey) sound cool, but it doesnt work the other way around.

We look great in tank tops.
Posted 17 Oct 2004

Freddy says
51) but we still believe guys are better then us
Posted 17 Oct 2004

hahahaha faradiya u r toooo much man..... wats ur star by the way
Posted 17 Oct 2004

where was i when u came to jb... i should have welcomed u.... neyways... i wasnt here na...
Posted 17 Oct 2004

~*Funny Labels On Actual Products*~
OMG these are actual instruction labels on products!! Ha

--------------------------------------------------------
On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping"

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

--------------------------------------------------------
On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside"

(The shoplifter special!)
--------------------------------------------------------

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap"

(and that would be how?)

--------------------------------------------------------
On some Swann frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost"

(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

--------------------------------------------------------
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
"Do not turn upside down."

(Too late! you lose!)

--------------------------------------------------------
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating"

(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

--------------------------------------------------------
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body. "

(But wouldn't that save more time?)
(Whose body?)
--------------------------------------------------------

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
"Do not drive car or operate machinery"

(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

--------------------------------------------------------
On Nytol sleep aid:
"Warning: may cause drowsiness."

(One would hope!)

--------------------------------------------------------
On a Korean kitchen knife:
"Warning: keep out of children"

(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the translation...)

--------------------------------------------------------
On a string of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only"

(As opposed to use in outer space.)

--------------------------------------------------------
On a food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use"

(Now I'm curious.)

--------------------------------------------------------
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts"

(but no peas?)

--------------------------------------------------------
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: open packet, eat nuts"

(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

--------------------------------------------------------
On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands"

(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)

--------------------------------------------------------
On a child's Superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly"

(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Posted 17 Oct 2004


                ~*Prison Vs School*~


In prison: you spend the majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
In school: you spend most of your time at a desk that sticks to your butt.

In prison: you get three meals a day.
In school: you only get a break for 1 meal and you have to pay for it.

In prison: you get time off for good behavior.
In school: you get rewarded for good behavior by being called the teacher's pet.

In prison: a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
In school: you get locked out of your classroom from the inside.

In prison: you can watch TV and play games.
In school: you get detention for playing games.

In prison: you get your own toilet.
In school: you have to share and wait your turn in line.

In prison: they allow your family and friends to visit.
In school: you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

In prison:you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
In school: you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
Posted 17 Oct 2004

Freddy says
last one is funny
Posted 17 Oct 2004

yeah
Posted 17 Oct 2004

BUT THE FIRST ONE IS AWSOME
Posted 17 Oct 2004

It's great to be a guy
Reasons why it's great to be a guy

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

Monday Night Football.

Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

You can open all your own jars.

Old friends don't annoy you if you've lost or gained weight.

Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

Your last name stays put.

You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

You can kill your own food.

The garage is all yours.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

You never have to clean the toilet.

You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

The National College Cheerleading Championship

None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

If you're 34 and single nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be president.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

Flowers fix everything.

You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't care if someone notices your new haircut.

You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking: He must be mad at me.

You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

You get to jump up and slap stuff.

One mood, all the time.

You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

Same work....more pay.

Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

You don't mooch off others' desserts.

The remote is yours and yours alone.

People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

ESPN's sports center.

You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your friends you've changed.

Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"

Baywatch

There is always a game on somewhere.
Posted 17 Oct 2004

do not start with us
you will not win
   
Posted 17 Oct 2004

Guest_005 says
Posted 17 Oct 2004

~CHANDNI~ says
nice topic   mgall




Posted 17 Oct 2004

valandrian says
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