Banta Singh rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago. "Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shopkeeper.
"But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter." The shopkeeper answered politely.
"Don't fool me," replied Banta, "it is clearly written on the packet of the butter 'Cholesterol free'".
One day Santa Singh was home and he went to the kitchen, opened the Sugar bottle, peeped inside and closed it.
His wife was seeing this. After some time Santa again went to the kitchen, opened the Sugar Bottle, peeped inside and Closed it.
His wife again saw this. Santa Singh again and again did the same thing. His wife was puzzled at why did he do something like this.. So, she asked Santa, 'Why did you open the Sugar bottle, see inside and close it often?'
Santa Singh replied, 'I am a Sugar Patient you know.... Our doctor advised me to check up the Sugar often'.
Sardarji: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group. Nurse: B positive Sardarji: please tell me soon .... Nurse: B positive Sardarji: Madam, I am positive, but eager to know the blood my group.
Jugnu Singh sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing. The bystander: A Marathon race is going on. Jugnu Singh: What do they get from that? Bystander: The winner will get a prize. Jugnu Singh: Then why are the others running?!
Jugnu Singh and an American were walking outside when the American said "Oh, look at the dead bird." Jugnu Singh looked towards the sky and said "Where, where?"
Jugnu Singh got up in the middle of the night to answer the telephone. "Is this one one one one?", says the voice. "No, this is eleven eleven." "Are you sure it isn't one one one one?" "No, this is eleven eleven." "Well, wrong number. I am Harpal calling, sorry to have woken you up on the middle of the night." "That's all right, mister. I had to get up to answer the telephone anyway."
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Jugnu : Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of.. Harpal : 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
Jugnu : What is ANOTHER difference between a MOSQUITO and a FLY? Harpal : A FLY can FLY but a MOSQUITO cannot MOSQUITO! all are Great laughing like crazy
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In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run? Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .... Inteviewer shouts: Stop it. Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...
Sardars were fixing a bomb in a car. Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing. Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have a one more.
Boss: Where were you born? Sardar : Punjab . Boss : which part ? Sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.
Sardar : What is the name of your car ? Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T". Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.
Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto. Sardar: Can't you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.
Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening. Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring. Sardar: Ya sure, from landline or mobile.
Doctor to Sardar: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die? Sardar: Yes. A good doctor.
How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars? Simple; Just knock the door and they will open it....
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai. Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho? Santa: I'm falling in love.
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets Jeeto: Why 3? Santa: For you and your parents
Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken. Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh! Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Banta: U cheated me. Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u. Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that? Santa: Tipu's skeleton. Tourist: Whose is that smaller skeleton next to it? Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
~tasha~
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Sardar Paaijaan meinuu kuch nahi pata, mein kuch ni kitta Mann lekin kuch te kitta hoega Sardar Mein te ek photo leke buss wich kharra si, te naal ek pææn khari si...te meri photo ek dum naal thalle gir gayi..... Me kheya, pæænji zara saaaree utte karoo, Mein tasveeer leni hai
~tasha~
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@@Sardar At School@@
Bantu returns from his first day at school and immediately questions hisfather. "Dad, today we had a Spelling Class - All the other kids could only say half the alphabet, but I knew the whole thing. Is that because I am Sardar?" "No son, that's because you are intelligent. " Bantu seeming content with the answer, asks his father another question, "Dad, today we had Math class - All the other kids could only count from 1-10, I could count from 1 to 20. Is this because I am Sardar ??" "No son, that's because you are intelligent, " replies his father. Happy with the answer, Bantu poses another question to his father, "Dad,today we had Medical Examination, all the other boys were shorter than me, I was atleast twice their height. Is that because I am Sardar ??" The father replies, "No son, that's because you are 31 years old
~tasha~
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SARDARS PREPARATION OF MBA EXAM
Santa singh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part.
One day when he was reading, one of his non-sardar friends came home.
Friend Santa singhji How is your MBA preparation? Santa Singh Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic. Friend Logic is very easy. Santa singh Can you give me an example, so that I can understand. Friend OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?
Santa YES.
Friend Logically, there will be water in it.
Santa YES.
Friend Logically, there will be fish in it.
Santa YES.
Friend Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.
Santa YES.
Friend I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.
Santa YES.
Friend so, logically, you are married.
Santa YES.
Friend So, that means you are a heterosexual.
Santa singh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees
Banta singh and he was also preparing for MBA. Santa How is your MBA preparation?
Banta Everything is fine except for the logic. Santa Oh, logic is easy. Banta Pleaseeee, give me an example.
True Love is like a pillow. U could HUG it when Ur in trouble. U could CRY on it when Ur in pain. U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy. Want True Love? Spend Rs50 buy a Pillow.
Human brain is the most outstanding object in world. It functions 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year. It functions right from the time we are born, And stop only when we enter the examination hall.
~tasha~
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Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"
~tasha~
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Santa Singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.) Santa Singh thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass). Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh. Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE." A haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to place an advertisement announcing his father's death. "The rate is Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him. "Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the haryanavi. "My father was 182 cms tall." Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach : Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ? Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ? Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata. Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai . Rajsi complained to his friend about his wife ' My wife never agrees with anything I say. And we have been married for six years .' Mrs Rajsi intervened, ' Not six we have been married for seven years ! A Sardarji, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'. That ended the husband's witticisms. Avtar & Kartar used to stay in same building . Avtar on the Ground floor & Kartar on the 25thfloor. One day when the lift was not working, Kartar invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25th floor to find Kartar's flat closed from outside and had a note which read : 'How did you enjoy your dinner ? ' Not to be outdone , Avtar wrote under it, 'Sorry , I could not make it .' 'Take me to the 10th floor,' said Banta Singh as he entered the lift of a high rise bulding. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, beta.' 'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Banta Singh. D'I am not your son.' I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman. The collector asked Banta Singh for his rail ticket. Banta Singh searched his pockets but could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector, ' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.' 'That is very kind of you,' replied Banta Singh,'but if I don't find it, I want to know where to get off.' Santa Singh : 'Look Banta, what type of glasses they have made. The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?' Banta Singh : 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top, how will the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?' Sardarji ( to doctor ) : Doctor, I have a problem. Doctor : What's your problem? Sardarji : I keep forgetting things. Doctor : Since when do you have this problem? Sardarji : What problem?
~tasha~
Age: 124
6597 days old here
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Letter from mother to son Santa Singh. Pyare Puttar, Vahe Guru. I am writing this letter slow, because I know you can't read fast. We do not live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I wont be able to send you the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the numbers with them for their next house, so they would not have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I am not sure it works too well. Last week I put 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since then. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained 3 days, and the second time for 4 days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket. We got another bill from the funeral home. It said if we don't make the last payment on grandma's funeral, he will come up again. Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting grass at the cemetery . Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it's a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your uncle Jatinder fell in a whisky vat. Some men tried pulling him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. There is not much more news this time. Nothing much has happened. LoveMom. P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
~tasha~
Age: 124
6597 days old here
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1. A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it home somewhere in Rajasthan,but two days later disconnected it because he was getting complaints like "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai" ( "he picks up the receiver and then says he is not at home" ) 2. This sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai" Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata " 3. Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?" Sardarji replies "Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"
eshajam
Age: 37
6369 days old here
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Location:
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Santa enters a store that sell curtains.
He tells the salesman, I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.
The salesman assured him that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He showed him several patterns, but Santa seemed to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally, he selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman asked what size curtains he needed.
Santa replies, Fifteen inches.
Fifteen inches? asked the salesman. That sounds very small, what room are they for?
Santa tells him that they aren''t for a room, they are for his computer monitor.
The surprised salesman replies, But, sir, computers do not have curtains!
Santa says, Hellllooooooooo........I''ve got Windows!
