********JOKES*********

HEAVEN IS WHEN YOU HAVE :
An American Salary
A British Home

Chinese Food
An Pakistani Wife


HELL IS WHEN YOU HAVE :
An American Wife
British Food
A Chinese Home
An Pakistani Salary


Pathans on the moon
What do you call 1 Pathan on the moon?...
Problem...


What do you call 10 Pathan on the moon?...
Problem...


What do you call a 100 Pathan on the moon?...
Problem...


What do you call all the Pathans on the moon?...






................ Problem Solved!


Return of Sardar jii (Jokes)

Why do Sardars have see-through lunch box lids?
So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going
to work or
coming home.

**********************

A Sardar, a Japanese, and a British were lost in the desert.
They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down,

because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece
of
the Jeep
as they continued their journey.
The Japanese took the radiator, the British took the
seat, and
the Sardar took the door.
After a while of walking the British asked the
Japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the
radiator?"

The Japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the
fluid."
Next the Sardar asked the British "Why did you bring the seat?"
So the British said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the
sand. I can
sit on this comfortable seat."
Finally the Japanese asked the Sardar why he had chosen the
door.
The Sardar quickly responded to this question, "Well, when it
gets
hot all I
have to do is roll down the window."

**********************

Why couldn't the Sardar write the number "eleven"?
He didn't know which "one" came first...

**********************

Did you hear about the Sardar skydiver?
He missed the Earth!

**********************

Santa and Banta r two friends and Santa Singh has very good job.
Banta singh
is jobless.
One day asks Santa for some good Job.
Santa Singh says, OK. Next time we will apply together and they
do.
On interview day,

Santa Singh says, first i will go inside and answer all
questions
except
last one, and after coming out, I would give u the all answers
and
questions. So u go and then answer there. U will get the Job.
So, Santa goes in.
EMPLOYER : When we got independence?
SANTA : Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER : Good. Who is our PM?
SANTA : It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari
Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER : OK. What's India's population?
SANTA (He was not to reply last one so he says): Good Question,
Research is
going on, and when i know, i will tell u Sir.
Now he comes out and tell questions and answers to Banta Singh.
Banta singh was real SARDAR and he remembers all answers and
forgot
questions.
He goes in Now.
EMPLOYER : When were u born?
BANTA : Efforts started in 1857, but got freedom in 1947.
EMPLOYER : What???? Who is your father?
BANTA : It changes daily and these days its Atal Bihari
Vajpayee.
EMPLOYER : Employer is upset now. Are u Mad Mr. Banta?

BANTA : Good Question, Research is going on, and when i know, i
will tell u
Sir.

**********************

A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Sardar walk into a pub.
They proceed to each buy a pint of Guinness. Just as they were
about to
enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their
pints, and
were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and
continued drinking
it as if nothing had happened.
The Sardar too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out
over
the beer
and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU
BASTARD!!!"


**********************

The Sardarji Doctor to his patient:
"It's very important that you take this medicine
exactly 30 minutes before you feel the pain."

**********************

One foggy evening two Sardarjis went out walking.
One of the Sardarji was holding a flashlight, and suddenly he
said
to his
friend:
"Why don't you just climb up this light-beam when I am holding
the
flashlight upwards like this?"
His friend looked at him and answered,
"No, I can't do that Because if I did, you would just turn off
the
light,
and I would fall down."

**********************

The Sardarji doctor was so afraid of bacteria, that he cooked
his
ice-cubes
before he put them in his drink.

**********************

Ek baar ki baat hai......
sardar banta singh ko ek ladka hua.......
but 4-5 salon ke baad wo apne baap se ajeeb-o-garib question
puchhne
laga......
viz, suraj east se hi kyon ugta hai??? prithvi suraj ke chakkar
kyon lagata
hai???.....
ye sab sawal sun kar banta singh bahut pareshanho gaye.......
unhone apne bete ko doctor ke paas le gaye......
doctor chhote sardar ko examine karne ke baad bola,sardarji
generally
sardaron ke paas to aadha dimaag hota hai but aapke ladke ke
paas
pura
dimaag ho gaya hai......
sunte hi sardarji bole ki iska bhi aadha dimaag kat do......
doctor bola tab to operation karna hoga......
sardarji bole thik hai kar do........
operation theatre ke bahar sardarji ghum rahe the, pareshan
hokar
aur andar
me operation chal raha tha......
operation ke baad doctor bahar nikla to sardarji ne operation ke
bare me
puchha.......
doctor ne bola,sardarji bahut badi gadbadi ho
gayihai.......

sardarji ne puchha kya hua???.......
doctor bola:uska galati se maine pura dimaag nikal diya......
sunte hi sardar ji ander bhage o.t. room me.......
sardar ji apne bete ko dekhkar bole: kaise ho mere puttar......
aawaz sunkar uske bete ne aankh khola aur unhe dekhkar bola:
AAMAR
BADI
KOTHAY AACHHE??? With all respect to my Bengali
freinds..........

**********************


There were these two Sardarji twins who looked so incredibly
alike, that
sometimes they borrowed money from each other without the other
really
knowing about it.

**********************



Boss tells his new employee, "Santa Singh, I'll give you 10
bucks
an hour
starting today and in three months, I'll raise it to 20 bucks an
hour. So
when would you like to start?"Santa replied, "In 3 months."

**********************


Q How can you recognize a surd in a submarine?
A He is the one with the parachute on his back.




Teacher & Student Jokes

TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I."
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen..... Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
JOHNNY: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same
time."