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shar jokes with me

Computer Users

Computer users are divided into three types:

Novice, Intermediate and Expert.

Novice Users - People who are afraid that simply pressing a key might break their computer.

Intermediate Users - People who don't know how to fix their computer after they've just pressed a key that broke it.

Expert Users - People who press the keys that break other people's computers.
Posted on 5/9/2005 2:30:36 AM





Dog Watch

Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"

Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."

Feel Better

Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying.

She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me.. the whole world hates me!"

Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you."
Posted on 5/9/2005 2:31:28 AM

Just Before I Die

Showing his friend around his home, Jennings pointed out all of the collectibles he and his wife had acquired over their long years of marriage.

"The day before I die, I'd like to sell every piece we've got just to see how much it's all worth."

"Well," his friend replies, "since you couldn't possibly know the day before you were going to die, you'll never be able to sell!"

"And that's where you're wrong," the man smiled. "If I sell it, my wife would kill me!"
Posted on 5/9/2005 2:31:40 AM


Number One Sport

A woman, while touring a small South American country was shown a bullfight.

The guide told her, "This is our number one sport."

The horrified woman said, "Isn't that revolting?"

"No," the guide replied, "revolting is our number two sport."
Posted on 5/9/2005 2:31:50 AM
Posted on 5/9/2005 5:55:46 AM
Posted on 5/9/2005 11:50:37 PM
shar bhi kar do jokes
Posted on 5/11/2005 11:53:04 PM
kewl posting
Posted on 5/12/2005 12:54:26 AM
Posted on 5/12/2005 2:45:57 AM
"Kaisay bataoon key tum merai kaun hoo
walls ki ice cream ho polka ki kon ho
kesey bataoon key tum poorani dheet ho
aik bohat bari tum phateek ho
tum orangi tum korangi
tum hi ho meri nagan chowrangi ,
lyari ki tum Football ho kimari ka tum bund ho
soni gutka tum hi aur manora ki tum thand ho
tum kharadar tum methadar tum hi golimar ho
tumhi meri dhoti aur shalwar ho
tum hi gutka tum hi mempoori
tum hi mix patti ka pan ho
bad qismati say tum meri jaan ho
lalookhait main rehti ho tum
khud ko defence ka kheti ho tum
lambi lambi chortee ho tum
hamesha sey ho khowar tum
ho sardi ka bhokhar tum
shikarpur ka achar tum
peshawar ki naswar tum
Kaisay bataoon key tum merai kaun hoo
Posted on 5/13/2005 12:50:20 AM
~Fragi~:
kewl posting
thxxx bhai
Posted on 5/13/2005 12:53:02 AM
An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, "Where have you been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the drunk. "Well," says the cop, "It looks like you've had quite a few to drink this evening." "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. "Did you know," says the copy, standing straight and folding his arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car?" "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf."
Posted on 5/13/2005 1:26:50 AM
Posted on 5/13/2005 3:31:42 PM
Posted on 5/13/2005 10:23:24 PM
The Boss
A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:
"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss.
"I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."
The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his
boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:
"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"

"Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it. . . ."
Posted on 5/13/2005 11:58:58 PM

Time
SURD: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
SURD: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the
weirdest thing, I
have
been asking that question all day, and each time I get
a different
answer."
Posted on 5/14/2005 12:10:41 AM
Fairl_Girl:

Time
SURD: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
SURD: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the
weirdest thing, I
have
been asking that question all day, and each time I get
a different
answer."
Posted on 5/14/2005 9:56:28 AM
   
Posted on 5/14/2005 11:26:24 AM
Fairl_Girl:
"Kaisay bataoon key tum merai kaun hoo
walls ki ice cream ho polka ki kon ho
kesey bataoon key tum poorani dheet ho
aik bohat bari tum phateek ho
tum orangi tum korangi
tum hi ho meri nagan chowrangi ,
lyari ki tum Football ho kimari ka tum bund ho
soni gutka tum hi aur manora ki tum thand ho
tum kharadar tum methadar tum hi golimar ho
tumhi meri dhoti aur shalwar ho
tum hi gutka tum hi mempoori
tum hi mix patti ka pan ho
bad qismati say tum meri jaan ho
lalookhait main rehti ho tum
khud ko defence ka kheti ho tum
lambi lambi chortee ho tum
hamesha sey ho khowar tum
ho sardi ka bhokhar tum
shikarpur ka achar tum
peshawar ki naswar tum
Kaisay bataoon key tum merai kaun hoo



kewl one again
Posted on 5/15/2005 3:48:35 AM
thxx
Posted on 5/16/2005 12:17:34 AM
Posted on 5/16/2005 5:34:57 PM

The Burnt Ears
One day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as both ears covered with bandages.

He said: "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up the iron, so i burnt my ear."

The man asked "So what happened to your other ear?"

He said "That same stupid guy called again"
Posted on 5/17/2005 12:14:44 AM

What part did you get?
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.

His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?

He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.

His father congratulated him. And then he said "That's good son, maybe next time you'll get a talking role!"
Posted on 5/17/2005 12:16:13 AM
Posted on 5/18/2005 1:57:21 AM
MOM: "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school."
SON: "But why, Mama? I don't want to go to school."
MOM: "Give me two reasons why you don't want to go to school."
SON: "One, all the children hate me. Two, all the teachers hate me."
MOM: "Oh! that's not a reason. Come on, you have to go to school."
SON: "Give me two good reasons WHY I *should* go to school?"
MOM: "One, you are FIFTY-TWO years old. Two, you are the PRINCIPAL of the School !
Posted on 5/18/2005 2:00:14 AM
Posted on 5/19/2005 12:27:24 AM

"WHEN I AM YOUR : KAREEB
THERE IS ONLY : KHAMOSHI
I WANT TO SPEAK : DIL SE
THAT'S MY KIND OF : ISHQ
I WANT THIS TO BE : GUPT
AS I ALWAYS HAVE : DARR
THAT I WILL LOOSE YOU : SAJANI
AND THAT WOULD BE GREAT : SADMA
I AM YOUR : MR.AASHIQUE
BUT SOMETIMES BIT : DEEWANA
TELL ME : HUM AAPKE HAIN KAUN
AS I FEEL : KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI
IN THIS : DUNIYA DILWALON KI
I TOLD YOU : MAINE PYAR KIYA
MAY BE : DIL TO PAGAL HAI
BECAUSE : JAB PYAR KISISE HOTA HAI
THE WHOLE WORLD APPEARS AS : DUSHMAN
BUT ANYWAY : PYAR TO HONA HI THA
BUT U MUST KNOW: PYAAR KOI KHEL NAHI
BUT IF U WANT 2 BECOME : DULHAN DILWALE KI
THEN U MUST RESPOND 2 THIS : PUKAAR
N DONT MIND COZ THIS IS MY: STYLE
I HOPE YOUR ANSWER IS : YES BOSS
N IF U SAY NO THEN I KNOW IS: KABHI KHUSHI   KABHI GHAM         &n bsp;         &n bsp;
I DONT KNOW WHAT WILL B MY: ANJAAM
Posted on 5/19/2005 12:28:56 AM

Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
Yahan likhna mana hai.

============================================================

Unki gali ke chakkar kaat kaat kar,
Kutte bhi hamare yaar ho gaye,
Wo to hamare ho na sake,
Hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye...

==========================================================

Na woh inkaar karti hai
Na woh ikraar karti hai
KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar
Mere dost se pyaar karti hai.

=======================================================

Maine poocha chand se...
Kabhi dekha hai mere yaar sa hasin.....
Chand ne kaha , chandni ki kasam ... 12036 entries found!
Posted on 5/24/2005 11:42:29 PM
Posted on 5/28/2005 6:40:18 AM
good gooda
Posted on 5/28/2005 12:20:07 PM
"KABH SE BOOT KIYE BHAITHA HOON,
PC APNAY PYAR KA.
KAISAY TYPE KAROON MEIN LIKN,
PASSWORD IZHAR KA.

DIL KI CHAROUN DRIVES MEIN MAINAY,
JANNA TUGH KO SEARCH KIA.
YAHOO,YAHOO,GOOGLE,GOOGLE,
KITNA PAISA KHARCH KIA.

TERE CHAHRAY PE GHUSSAY KA,
SCREENSAVER JUB AA TA HAI.
MERAY CHEHRAY KA DISPLAY TABH,
GERYSCALE HO JATA HAI.

JINKE LINKS ABH TOOT CHUKE HAIN (EX-BOY FRIENDS)
SHORTCUTS WO WIPE KARO,
APNAY DIL KI MAIL BOX MEIN,
MERA ADDRESS TYPE KARO.

CHAHUT HAI TERAY PYAR KI SITE,
RAAT-DIN MEIN HACK KAROON.
PATTAR-DIL- DADDY KA TERAY,
SOFTWARE BHI CRACK KAROON.

BUDDHA AGER JO MAAN GAYA TOH,
HUM CONNECT HO JAAYENGE.
VSNL KE SERVER KI,
PHAIRAY PHIR SAAT LAGAAYENGE.

GINTI K BUS BACHAY HAIN BAAQI,
MERAY JEEWAN K YE PAL.
TU JO AA KE PYAR SE CHOO LE,
MIL GAYE GA AUR EK KAL (ORACLE)
Posted on 5/28/2005 11:32:04 PM
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