amazing Cat

manooo

thx

poor husband

nice sardaji jokes

Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask a question in English, answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight.

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Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.

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Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

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Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE

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Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday

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Teacher :Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.Everyone must attend it.
Raju:No ma'm! I will not be able to attend it.
Teacher :Why?
Raju:My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!

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Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."

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Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)

Teacher :Because of Gandhiji's hard work what do we get on 15th August.
Student:A holiday

American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.


Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.


Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.


Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why
are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler


Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.


2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.


Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any
one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.


On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement
day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.


Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright

thx dear sisoo

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement
day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.


Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored
him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The
man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave
him alone unless he parts with some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money,
but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly
help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He
then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the
beggar.

The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the
beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".

The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages
the liver".

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race
course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place
bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry
sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home
with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at
least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the
man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad
habits looks like

thx sis

most welcum dearo

Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.''

Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''

Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.''

TEACHAR : tell me 5 water animals.

SARDAR : fish

TEACHAR : good, next 4
SARDAR : fish da puttar, fish di kudi, fish da pra aur usdi MAA.......

thanx

eshajam:

On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him. Darling on our
engagement
day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.


Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the
computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright

Assalam O Alaikum
The second one brilliant ...!

chandbabu:

Santa falls in luv with a nurse...
After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."



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Q: Why dogs don't marry?

A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!



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Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?

Santa: Very long!



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Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?

Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.



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Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag.

Guess what did he ask next...



Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.



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Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.

The shopkeep! er asked: Exide laga du?

Santa: Dusri side tera pyo lagayega kya?



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Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?

Santa: Birla cement.

Banta: Kyun?

Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.



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Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.

Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.



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Banta ek ! sadhu se bola" Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.

Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?



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Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai.

Santa: Hai.

Frog: Nahin hai & jumps into the well.

Santa: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?



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Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.

The judge: What'll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.

Santa: I think I'll take the money.



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Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about u?

Banta: Me too, after u leave.



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A lady asked Santa: LIPTON di chah hai?

Santa replied: Mainu ta nahi hai ji, tainu hai ta lipat ja...



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Q: How do you recognize Santa's son, Pappu, in School?

A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.



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Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track.

Banta: Santa u'll die.

Santa: U'll die bcoz haven't u heard train is coming on platform?



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Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa!

Santa: Oye, this was a missed call



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Banta: Name the 3 fastest means of communication.

Santa: Telephone, Television, Tell-a-woman



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Santa: I'm a proud father. My son is in medical college.

Banta: What's he studying?"

Santa: He's not studying, they are studying him!



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Q: A Man asked Santa, "Akal badhi ya bhains? "

A: Santa bola, "Pehle date of birth to batao."



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Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door?

A: Because it was an entrance exam.



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What's Ford?

Santa: Gaadi.

What's Oxford?

Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi



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Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha.

Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan.



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Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He once entered a lion's cage.

Banta: He probably got a lot of applause when he got out.

Santa: I didn't say he got out.



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Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first - the chicken or the egg?

O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!



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Santa (reading from book of facts): "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?"

Banta: "Why don't you use a mouth wash?"