~*Jokes*~

momojp18 said:

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally Typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile.....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date: 16 May 2002


I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.

I've just reached and have been checked in.
I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

lolzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

momojp18 said:

A sardarji went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour. Somebody asked - sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya? sardar - hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi.

but

Bazigaar said:

y r u......>    u r supposed to be......>

Rejecting Pickup Lines ................


HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours!!!

HE : Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!

HE : May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE : No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share!!!

HE : Is it hot in here or is it just you?
SHE : It's hot!!!

HE : I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
SHE : Okay, but would you stay there?

HE : Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE : Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE : Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE : Okay, get out!!!

HE : I think I could make you very happy
SHE : Why, are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why, don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE : Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

HE : I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
SHE : Okay, but would you stay there?

momojp18 said:

Bazigaar said:

y r u......>    u r supposed to be......>

HE : Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

IT Poetry...
Abhi abhi to pyaar ka computer kiya hai chaaloo
Aab main dil ki hard disk pe aur kitni files daaloo

Apne chehare se ruswaai ka error to hatao
Ai jaaneman apne dil ka password to batao

woh to hum hain jo aap ki chahat dil main rakhte hain
Warna aap jaise kitney hi softwares bazaar main bikte hain

)shaadi se pehle , " Maine Pyar Kiya "
shaadi ke baad , " Yeh Maine Kya Kiya "!!!!

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried down- stairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down her so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!" "Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for awhile." Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?" The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"

Wife's Birthday!

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.

A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.

"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.

The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"

The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.
--------------------------------------------------------
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same : "You can have mine."
--------------------------------------------------------
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.

SMS Sport!
Why are all those people running?
They are running a race to get a cup.
Who will get the cup?
The person who wins.
Then why are all the others running?!

hasna tha
kidding

momojp18 said:

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.
--------------------------------------------------------
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."

The next day he received a hundred letters.

They all said the same : "You can have mine."
--------------------------------------------------------
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent,
and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute.

"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of
galaxies and potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and

insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What
does it tell you?"


Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks.

"Someone has stolen our tent".

ONCE IN ENGLISH CLASS :

TEACHER : Monu Spell "Monkey"
MONU : M..O..N..K..E..
TEACHER : What Comes At The End ?
MONU : It's Tail , Ha Ha Ha.

FATHER : Did you not sleep last night ? And Why r you yawning ?
SON : Oh, I did Papa. But I could not sleep well in the classroom today.

OWNER : Drive the car slowly.
DRIVER : But Master, you told that you have to reach the hospital soon.
OWNER : Yes, but not as a patient.

Three men were in heaven discussing how they died.

The first man said, "I died of cancer."

The second man said, "I died of Tuberculosis."

The third man said, "I died of seenus."

The first two men asked, "Do you mean sinus?"

The third man said, "No, I mean seenus. I was out with my best friend's wife and he seen us!"

a kid goes up 2 his mom:

kid: is god male or female
mom: both
kid: is god black or white
mom: both
kid: is M.Jackson God?