JB’s jokes

Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon...
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.

Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anday tumharay aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari.
Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.

lol... babe... u sound more like a blonde   

Hotel Ka Khana

Customer : Bhai kab se wait ker raha hoon khana abhi tak tayyar nahi howa?
Hotel Wala : Sir kahana tu 3 din pehlay se tayyar hai bas gharam ho raha hai.

Sajid asks Usman name three fruits?
He replies :1 Mango 2 Apple.

good jokes

Teacher:France ke log french frize ko kia kehte hain??
Student:hamari frize

lol

do dost kashti per sawar thay ki nay kaha
yaar kashti dagmaga rahe hai aise naho ki doob jaye
dosre na kaha....... doob jane do yaar
kambakhat nay kiraya bohat ziyada liya hai

girhaq nay dukaandar se kaha..... jub meinnay apse moter cycle kareedi to apne wada kia tha kai 3 maa tak

motercycle chalatay huwa kuch toote ga ,app iski jaga dusra saman laga dehgay
dukaandar....ji han kaha tha...... kia toota hai
girhaq...... samne kai 4 dante toot gaye hain

Jayme and Bob have been back from their honeymoon for two weeks when Bob came home from work saying

he'd invited four friends from the office home for dinner on Friday.

Jayme is a bit apprehensive as she asks if she must cook a meal for them all. Bob explains that there will actually

be eight coming, as each has a spouse or date. Since this is her first party, he consoles her by saying that all she

has to do is get some Chinese food in and perhaps she can bake a cake. This sounds like a good idea, and they sit

down and decide what Chinese food to get.

Friday morning wife calls the office in tears. She explains that the only cake recipe she has will only feed six.

Hubby says, "why don't you just double the recipe?" She decides that is a good idea.

At four, hubby gets another phone call -- this time quite frantic. "I just can't do it," wifely weeps. "It's impossible."

"Now, now, what's the matter?" "Well, their recipe calls for two eggs..."

"So, you use FOUR eggs. Don't you have them?"

"Yes -- then it needs 4 cups of flour."

"Well," Bob says rather testily, "you will have to use 8 cups of flour -- what is the problem?"

"It isn't the ingredients," Jayme cries, "it says that the cake must be baked at 350 degrees and I have checked the

oven and I can't turn the heat up to 700 degrees!"

.. nice!

hahahahaha nice nice nice

*janubabe said:

Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: Moon...
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it.

heheheheheh

Pls remind me 2 remind u about remindin me to send u dis reminder oh dat reminds me can u remind me wot the reminder was ive forgot!

No Woman No Cry!
Recently a "Husband Shopping Center" opened in Dallas, where women could go to choose a husband from among many men.

It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place never to return.
A couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.

Firstfloor, the door had a sign saying "These men have jobs and love kids.
"The women read the sign and say, "Well, that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"
So up they go.

Second floor says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids,and are extremely good looking."
Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?

Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework.
" Wow! say the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up!" And up they go.

Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."
"Oh, mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further on!"

So up to the fifth floor they go.
The sign on that door said,
"This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. Goodbye."
!.

Answering Machine
Answering Machine!
A sardarji, having bought a new phone with the latest model of answering machine had to disconnect it the very next day.
He was very disturbed when he heard his friend say, "abey, phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hoon".
!

app ki bari

jiii nahi soffia yahan bas meray hi jokes sunay paray gay ba**s

kiss
Aik Chota larka hota hai usko cheez chaiyeh hoti hia aur us ko mumi ghar per nahi hoti
,wo bahir jata hai aur shop waley ko kehta hai app mujhey yeh cheez de do meri mumi
appko paisay deday gi. Tu woh shop wala kehta hai bachey ko kei app mujhey aik kiss dedo mei
app ko yeh cheez dedata hoon,tu woh bacha kehta hai kei yeh b app ko meri mumi dey gi ..

aik aunty ki coke main machhar gir jata hai machhar kahta hai maaaaaaa maaaaaaa maaaaaaaaa mjay bahar nikalo maaa mjay bahar nikalo aunti usko bahar nikal kr poochti hain tum mjay maa q kaj rahay thay
us nai kaha is lyay k main tumari coke say nikla hun

SPONE
EK BACHA APNE DOST K GHAR KHANA KHANE GAYA.KHANE KEY TABLE K
KAPRE SE US NE SPONE SAAF KIYA TO DOST KI MAAN NE TANZIA POOCHHA KYA
TUMHARE GHAR MEIN ISI TARHAN SPONE SAAF KERTE HEINTO BACHA BOLA,NAHIN HAMARE
GHAR MEIN SPONE HAMESHA SAAF RAKHTE HEIN...

shadi
aik pathan ki shadi hoti hai wo jb dulhan ko lay kr ja raha hota hai to dulhan ka bhai ro kr
kahta hai meri behan ka khyal rkhna dulha bhi ro kr kahta hai tum preshan
mat ho yay tumara behan hai to mara bhi behan hai

shaikh sahib
aik shaikh sahib kay bachay zid kartay hain keh bhook lagi hai shaikh sahib
kehtay hain jo kahana nahin khay ga us ko 5rupay milain gay bachay bahut hi khush hotay
hain or bagair khay 5rupay laykar soo jaatay hain.subah jab naashtay kay liay ikhatay hotay hain to shaikh sahib kehtay hain jo 5rupay wapis karay ga us ko naashta milay ga

Biwi
Ek kavi shaadi ke baad biwi se bola:

Aaj se tum hi meri kavita ho,kalpana ho, bhawana ho, Kalpna ho!

Biwi: Mere liye bhi aaj se aap he dinesh ho, rohit ho,rakesh ho!

Once there was a indian man traveling to Canada but he only knew three

words of English and those words were Yes, No and Thank you! A Canadian

guy was right beside him and the candian guy had lost his purse and he

asked that man , “have you seen my purse ?” as the indian man didn’t know English

at all except those three words , he had no idea what the man was talking

about , so he said , “Yes!” the Canadian guy seemed a little happy , then

he asked him , “ can you please give it to me ?” and again the indian man had no

idea what the guy was talking so he said “No!” then the candain guy seemed

very angry so he slapped that man and the indian man replied “Thank you!”

welcome here subha

Its Local
Ellzabeth,Bush, & vajpayee died &went straight to hell.
Ellzabeth said I miss UK, I want to call to UK and see how everybody is doing there.
she called and talked for about 5 minutes,then she asked Well,devil how much do I owe you???
The devil says Five million dollars
He worte him a cheque and went to sit back on his chair.

Bush was so jealous,he strats screaming, My turn!I wanna call to USA.I want to see how everybody is doing
He called and talked for about 2 minutes ,then he asked Well,devil how much I do owe you???
The devil says Ten million dollars
With a smug look on his face,he made a cheuqe and went to sit his chair.

Vajpyee was even more jealous & strat screaming,
I want to call to India too,T wanna talk to the ministers,to the deputy,I wanna talk to everybody of my Parliment.........
He called India and he talked for about twenty hours,he talked & talked & talked,then he asked Well devil how much do I owe you???
The devil says twenty dollars.
Vajpayee is stunned & says Twenty dollars???Only??
The devil says Well if u make a call from one hell to another hell, it''s Llocal

ye joke tha ji ...

ab hansana bhi hai..........


ye lllllooooo...