JB’s jokes

              U LIKE IT GOOD HERE IS ANOTHER 1
                            HAIR
Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got
to thinking about things.

“Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his
head?” he asked his mother.

“He thinks a lot,” replied his mother, pleased with
herself for coming up with a good answer to her
husband's baldness. Or she was until Johnny thought
for a second and asked, “So why do you have so much
hair?”

hahaha last one is so nice na

                U LIKE IT OK HERE IS ANOTHER 1
                     A Coca Cola Classic
A disappointed salesman of Coca Cola returns from his
Middle East assignment. A friend asked, "Why weren't
you successful with the Arabs?"

The salesman explained, "When I got posted in the
Middle East, I was very confident that I will makes a
good sales pitch as Cola is virtually unknown there.
But, I had a problem I didn't know to speak Arabic.
So, I planned to convey the message through 3
posters...

First poster, a man crawling through the hot desert
sand... totally exhausted and panting.

Second, the man is drinking our Cola and

Third, our man is now totally refreshed. Then these
posters were pasted all over the place"

"That should have worked," said the friend.

The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak
Arabic, I also didn't realize that Arabs read from
right to left..."

really nice ..

good dr

GOOD DEAR N TXS VERY MUCH

                    SO HERE IS ANOTHER 1
                        PAK   MOVIES
Recently the Father of physics made a visit to earth
to watch a movie. He watched a few Pakistani movies
and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all
his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile
of junk and apologized for everything he had done. In
the movie starring Mr.Hero, Newton was confused to
such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few
scenes:

1)Mr.Hero has a Brain Tumor which, according to the
doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In
one of the fights, our great Mr.Hero is shot in the
head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes
through his ears taking away the tumor along with it
and he is cured. Long Live Mr.Hero.

2) In one of the movies, Mr.Hero is confronted with 3
gangsters. Mr.Hero has a gun but unfortunately only
one bullet. Guess, what he does....... He holds a
knife in his hand and throws at the middle gangster..&
shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts
the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters
on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kill
the middle one.

3) Mr.Hero is chased by a gangster. Mr.Hero has a
revolver but he got no bullets in it. Guess, what he
does.... not even in your remotest imaginations. He
waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the
gangster shoots, Mr.Hero opens the bullet compartment
of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he
closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.
Bang... And the gangster dies....

4)This was too much for our Newton to take and he was
completely shaken and he decided to go back. But for
one last time he happened to see a movie and thought
that at least one movie will follow his theory of
physics. The whole movies goes fine and Newton is
happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops not
so fast. The Climax finally arrives. Mr.Hero gets to
know that the villain is on the other side of a very
high wall. So high that Mr.Hero can't jump even if he
tries like one of those superman techniques that our
heroes normally use. Mr.Hero has to desperately kill
the villain because its the climax. Newton is smiling
since it is virtually impossible).. Mr.Hero suddenly
pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He
throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached
the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of
the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the
first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton gives up and goes back...

Dump your girlfriend, Go for a cup of coffee instead.....

           A cup of Coffee never talks back at you
           A cup of Coffee looks good even in the mornings
           You'll never fall asleep after having a cup of coffee
       Warming a cup of Coffee takes less efforts
           Warming cup of Coffee is also much less cheaper
           A cup of Coffee is out of your system by next morning
           You can take even a black coffee to meet your parents
           You can make a cup of Coffee as sweet as you want

Coffee tastes good even when it is absolutely cold
Coffee strains are easier to remove
Coffee is invariably ready in fifteen minutes or less
Coffee does not mind being grounded any time
You can easily reject a horrible cup of coffee

        Coffee does not occupy half of your bed
        Police does not question you for loitering with Coffee
        You can easily order fresh Coffee
        Your cup of Coffee does not get jealous of another cup
      No matter how much your IQ, you can always get coffee
        If you put chocolate in Coffee, it does not put on weight
        All can love coffee at the same time
        Coffee shall not take you to courts

COOL RANI G

              SO HERE IS MINE ANOTHER 1
                  WIFE N HUSBAND
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get
married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)."

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to
do."

WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?"

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: silence ...

HUSBAND: "sh*t"

lolzzz hahahaha

dr yeh mera hi topic hai na

What part did you get?

This one little boy in about4 th or5 th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went home to tell his father.

His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?

He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.

] His father congratulated him. And then he said "That's good son, maybe next time you'll get a talking role!"

Mr.Shot

There was a guy name shot who was murderer and once he was caught by the police so police was chasing him and shot climbed on a tree .The captain of the police force said take off shot right now so everybody pulled off their shots.

Muslims

There were two Christians travelling on a plane. Sitting behind them was a Muslims. As they realized that a Muslims is travelling with them. They started talking loudly with each other.

James said to Tim.
Tim where r u going, hopefully to Dubai.
Tim said Nah
There are too many muslims, streets and roods are flooded with them.
James smiles and said then u must be going to Iran.
Tim said r u mad, Muslims in Iran are more fanatic and mad then Dubai.
Muslim who was listening to them could not bear it and said hey u both go to hell, for sure there would be no Muslim.

Technical Support

Here are some conversations that actually happened between help desk people and their customers.

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."
Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."

Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
Customer: "Excuse me can I use this disk? It has a hole in it.
Tech Support: "Do you have1 3 / 2inch diskettes?"

Customer: "No, I only have 3 of them."
Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"

Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."

Customer: "How do you spell that?"
Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

YES DEAR AAP KA HI TOPIC THA AB ES PER MERA KABZA HO GAYA HAI.SO WEL COME 2 MY TOPIC.

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