Joke of the Day

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~tasha~

Age: 124
Total Posts: 47628
Points: 0

Location:
United Kingdom, United Kingdom
A man walks into a barber shop and asks; "how much for a hair cut?" The barber said $12.50. The man asks; "and how much for a shave?" The barber said $1.50. The man then says SHAVE IT ALL.
Posted 24 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
more jokes plz
Posted 20 Sep 2007

eshajam says
ok
Posted 20 Sep 2007

Mujrim says
eshajam said:

Mujrim said:

kya yaar tera sahara leke duniya ko hasanay ki koshish kar raha hoo


Aap duniya ko hasao Magar kise k sahare nahi apne sahare...


mind kar gayee sir jee??


sry
Posted 20 Sep 2007

khayali says
Mujrim said:

eshajam said:

Mujrim said:

kya yaar tera sahara leke duniya ko hasanay ki koshish kar raha hoo


Aap duniya ko hasao Magar kise k sahare nahi apne sahare...


mind kar gayee sir jee??


sry
Posted 21 Sep 2007

Mujrim says
ja bee jaaa
Posted 22 Sep 2007

eshajam says
A two seater plane has crashed in the graveyard in Punjab. Local Sardars have found 500 bodies so far and are still digging for more.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>><<<<< <<<<<<<<<<<<<<< <<<<<<<<<<<


While travelling a sardar was carrying a binocular with him.

But he never seemed to use it while looking outside the window.

A co-passenger who was travelling with him asked why he was carrying binoculars.

The sardar simply said ...
"I am on my way to see a distant relative."



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>><<<<<< <<<<<<<<<<<<<<< <<<<<<<<<<<

Once, two Sardars were feeling bored and decided to play a few games

of chess to pass the time.

They were doing this for some time, when two more sardar friends

dropped by. Seeing them play chess, they said -

"Come on guys, we are feeling bored too. Let us play doubles!"




>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>><<< <<<<<<<<<<<<<<< <<<<<<<<<<<

Our Sardar, one day is at the railway station. He asks one man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here"?Man Replies 12.30. "When will Punjab Express go from here"?Man Replies 10.30. "When will Deccan Queen go from here"?Man Replies 12.30. Thus the sardar goes on asking for all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not.Sardar replies, "NO. I only want to cross the tracks!"

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>><<< <<<<<<<<<<<<<<< <<<<<<<<<<<

Read this biography of a sardar
              When God passed out looks,
              I thought He said books, and I didn't want any.
              When God passed out ears,
              I thought He said beers, and I asked for two long ones.
              When God passed out legs,
              I thought He said kegs, and I asked for two fat ones.
              When God passed out noses,
              I thought He said roses, and I asked for a big red one.
              When God passed out heads,
              I thought He said beds, and I asked for a big soft one.
              When God passed out brains,
              I thought he said trains, and I missed mine.



Posted 25 Sep 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 25 Sep 2007

Mujrim says
gud 1

apreciated
Posted 25 Sep 2007

eshajam says
Thanks
Tasha,Mujrim Bhai
Posted 26 Sep 2007

~tasha~ says
welcome

more plz
Posted 26 Sep 2007

Mujrim says
welcome


waitin fr more
Posted 27 Sep 2007

eshajam says
Ok shy girl
and mujrim bhai


here some




Sardar comes back 2 his car amp; find a note saying "Parking Fine"

He Writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 complement"

*****************************************************

How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

*****************************************************

Once a Sardar was walking he had a gloves on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

*****************************************************

A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says

"Hello, how did you know I was here?"

*****************************************************

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the d ealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

`But I think I know where I`m going wrong,` said Santa, `I think I`m planting them too deep.`

*****************************************************

Sardar-why r all these people running? Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

*****************************************************

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.

Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

*****************************************************

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!

*****************************************************

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant:It"s already raining. Sardar: So what? take an umbrella and go.

*****************************************************

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs.20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.

Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.

*****************************************************

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet

Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

*****************************************************

Sardar`s wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

*****************************************************

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror.

*****************************************************

Sardar was writing something very slowly.

Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?

Sardar: "I`m writing to my 6 yr old son, he can`t read very fast.

*****************************************************

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".
**********************************************************
Posted 27 Sep 2007

Mujrim says
gud1s yaar appreciated
Posted 28 Sep 2007

eshajam says
Thanks
Posted 28 Sep 2007

nikama says
v.nice,thnx God we dont have a serdar here
Posted 28 Sep 2007

^dewaja^ says
Posted 29 Sep 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 29 Sep 2007

eshajam says
THANKS A LOT
Nik,D,and Tashu
Posted 30 Sep 2007

Lashakir says
eshajam said:

Ok shy girl
and mujrim bhai


here some




Sardar comes back 2 his car amp; find a note saying "Parking Fine"

He Writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 complement"

*****************************************************

How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

*****************************************************

Once a Sardar was walking he had a gloves on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.

*****************************************************

A Sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and says

"Hello, how did you know I was here?"

*****************************************************

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the d ealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

`But I think I know where I`m going wrong,` said Santa, `I think I`m planting them too deep.`

*****************************************************

Sardar-why r all these people running? Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

*****************************************************

Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense.

Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail".

*****************************************************

Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected". After much thought he wrote : Yes!

*****************************************************

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant:It"s already raining. Sardar: So what? take an umbrella and go.

*****************************************************

Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs.20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.

Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back.

*****************************************************

Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet

Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....

*****************************************************

Sardar`s wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not screaming like all the passengers in the car he was driving..

*****************************************************

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror.

*****************************************************

Sardar was writing something very slowly.

Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?

Sardar: "I`m writing to my 6 yr old son, he can`t read very fast.

*****************************************************

A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".
**********************************************************

ALL JOKE ARE FINETASTI...HA HA HA ,,,REALY I ENJOY IT,,
Posted 30 Sep 2007

Lashakir says
~tasha~ said:

HELLO TASHA JII....
AAP KA MONOGRAM...I MEANS FLASH WORK BOHAT PASAND AYA....HOW U DO IT....
CAN U HELP ME ...TELL ME HOW U MADE IT... U CAN SEND ME PM
Posted 30 Sep 2007

Lashakir says
ALL JOKES ARE GOOD,,,,BOHAAAAAAAAT ACHAAAAAAAAAAAAY WAH WAH WAH ,,,,HA HA HA HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAA    
Posted 30 Sep 2007

eshajam says
Posted 30 Sep 2007

eshajam says
                       Sardar`s Donkey

Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for?" The Sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn`t riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> ><<<<<<<<<<<<<< <<<<<<<<<<<<<<< <<<<<<<<
                       Chinese Sardar

Sardarji got the 4th child. He fills data in the birth certificate
"Mother: Sikh. Father: Sikh. Kid: Chinese."
"How come you write "Chinese" when both parents are Sikh?"
" Aah, read a newspaper, it says that every 4th person born on the Earth now is a Chinese."

============================================================ ========
                      3 Desi`s after Death

Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an
orientation in heaven. God asks all of them,
`When you are lying there after the accident and
friends and family are mourning and crying,

what would you have liked to hear them say about you?`

The first guy says, `I would liked to hear them say
that I was a great doctor of my time,
and a great family man.`

The second guy says, `I would have liked to hear them
say that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher
which made a huge difference, in children of tomorrow.`

The last guy, a sardarji replies after much thought,
`I would have liked to hear them say...

LOOK, HE`S MOVING!`

============================================================ =====
                   Sardarji`s Chinese Friend

Sardar ji visits his Chinese friend dying in hospital.

The chinese Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.

Sardar ji goes 2 China 2 find meaning of his friends
last words.

The last word he said was.. `U R STANDNG ON My OXGN TUBE!"


============================================================ ===

A Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the,
road....why ?

Just to confirm whether he is going to or coming back
from the office

Posted 30 Sep 2007

nikama says

v.nice compilation
Posted 30 Sep 2007

eshajam says
Posted 30 Sep 2007

eshajam says


Sardarjee to Sunita:
" I want to marry you"Sunita:
But I am one year elder to you.
Sardarjee: No Problem, then I will marry you next year


============================================================ ============

A donkey kicked sardar
& ran away
sardar ran to catch the donkey.
He saw a zebra
& started beating it
& said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

============================================================ ============

A Sardar sees a beautiful girl .
He goes and kises her .
The girl shouts and says
what r u doing.
Sardar says B COM
from KHALSA college.

============================================================ ============

sardar: yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai,
frnd: acha wo kaise?
Yar kal me ghar aya to
wo bath tub mai bhi security guard k sath bethi thi.!!

============================================================ ============

teacher: make a sentence in which 1
word repeated 4 times

sardar: lara dutta marries brian lara
and she becomes lara lara

============================================================ ============

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi gaya.

Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....

============================================================ ============

Santa: Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?

Banta: Post office.

============================================================ ============

Teacher:Where u were born?

Santa:In Tiruvanantapuram.

Teacher:tell me its Spelling?

Santa: (after thinking ) I think i was born in Goa....

============================================================ ============

A man2 Santa:Ur friend is kissing ur wife in ur home.

Santa rushes home & came back within half an hour

n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend.

============================================================ ============

Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.

Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?

Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai

============================================================ ============

Banta: you cheated me.

Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to you.

Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India

Radio!

============================================================ ============

What's Ford?

Santa: Gaadi.

What's Oxford?

Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi.

============================================================ ============

Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, u have became a papa...

Santa: just don't tell my wife i'll give her a surprise..

============================================================ ============
Posted 01 Oct 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 04 Oct 2007

eshajam says
thanks
coming soon
Posted 04 Oct 2007

jal_pari says
Posted 04 Oct 2007

eshajam says
Posted 04 Oct 2007

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