A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.

A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park. He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor cafe. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.

"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.

The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen!"

The husband replied, "I can't believe that my wife could be so much fun!"

Wife's Birthday!

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

A man returned home from the night shift and went straight up to the bedroom. He found his wife with the sheet pulled over her head, fast asleep. Not to be denied, the horny husband crawled under the sheet and proceeded to make love to her. Afterward, as he hurried down- stairs for something to eat, he was startled to find breakfast on the table and his wife pouring coffee. "How'd you get down her so fast?" he asked. "We were just making love!" "Oh my God," his wife gasped, "That's my mother up there! She came over early and had complained of having a headache. I told her to lie down for awhile." Rushing upstairs, the wife ran to the bedroom. "Mother, I can't believe this happened. Why didn't you say something?" The mother-in-law huffed, "I haven't spoken to that jerk for fifteen years, and I wasn't about to start now!"

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai ..
Ke kyon kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai?

Pyar to tum par mujhe bahut aata hai
Par kya karu Tera baap beech mein aata hai

Pyar ke sitaare jab gardish mein hote hai
Laila ghar mein aur majnoo jail mein hota hai

Jab tak tu apne dil ki baat mujhe samjhayegi
Meri shaadi kahin aur ho jayegi

Door se dekha to kuchh dikha nahi......
Dooor se dekhaaa.. to kuchh dikha nahi....
Paas jake dekhaa to kuchh tha hi nahi

WHEN I AM : KAREEB
THERE IS ONLY : KHAMOSHI
I WANT TO SPEAK : DIL SE
THAT'S MY KIND OF : ISHQ
I WANT THIS TO BE : GUPT
AS I ALWAYS HAVE : DARR
THAT I WILL LOOSE YOU : SAJANI
AND THAT WOULD BE GREAT : SADMA
I AM YOUR : MR.AASHIQUE
BUT SOMETIMES BIT : DEEWANA
TELL ME : HUM AAPKE HAIN KAUN
AS I FEEL : KUCH KUCH HOTA HAI
IN THIS : DUNIYA DILWALON KI
I TOLD YOU : MAINE PYAR KIYA
MAY BE : DIL TO PAGAL HAI
BECAUSE : JAB PYAR KISISE HOTA HAI
THE WHOLE WORLD APPEARS AS : DUSHMAN
BUT ANYWAY : PYAR TO HONA HI THA

Haan kab tak jawaani chhupaaogi rani
Arre kab tak jawaani chhupaaogi rani
Kanwaaron ko kitna sataaogi rani
Kabhi to kisi ki dulhaniya banogi
Mujhse shaadi karogi, mujhse shaadi karogi

Dil maangta hai dil dil dil maangta hai
Dil maangta hai dildaar soniye tu aaja soniye
Pyaar ka kar le kar le kar le kar le
Pyaar ka kar le qaraar soniye tu aaja soniye

Main bhi beqaraar hoon, tu bhi beqaraar hai
Tera intezaar hai, tera intezaar hai

Laal dupatta
Laal dupatta ud gaya re bairi hawa ke jhonke se
Mujhko piya ne dekh liya haai re dhoke se
Manaake mujhe dil dega voh, magar meri jaan lega voh

Laal dupatta
Laal dupatta ud gaya re tera hawa ke jhonke se
Tujhko piya ne dekh liya haai re dhoke se
Manaake tujhe dil dega voh, magar apni jaan dega voh

Rehnaa Rehnaa Terre Dil Mein Rehnaa
Kehna Kehna Tujhse Hai Kehna
Rehnaa Rehnaa Terre Dil Mein Rehnaa

Jaan Jaan Ab Dard-e-Judaai
Sehna Sehna Mujhko Nahin Sehna
Kehna Hai Kehna Hai Aaj Tujhse Kehna Hai
Rehnaa Hain Rehnaa Hain
Terre Dil Mein Rehnaa Hain

N

I think Lucky has the best songs....
i like 'Hum Dewaane' from Lucky....nice song
Kaal has nice songs as well
I only like one song from Karam..'Koi aisa alam'....

This song is from the movie 'Cooli No. 1'   
The song stars from Husn hai suhana...

Armaan

Nilam

Kya????

Rejecting Pickup Lines ................


HE : I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE : I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like
yours!!!

HE : Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice?
SHE : Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!

HE : May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE : No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE : How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE : I must've been given your share!!!

HE : Is it hot in here or is it just you?
SHE : It's hot!!!

HE : I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
SHE : Okay, but would you stay there?

HE : Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE : Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE : Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE : And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE : Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE : Okay, get out!!!

HE : I think I could make you very happy
SHE : Why, are you leaving?

HE : What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE : Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE : Can I have your name?
SHE : Why, don't you already have one?

HE : Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE : Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!

1275
1276
1277
1278
1279
12..

Elaan

Tum Paas Aaye,
yun muskuraye,
tum ne na jaane kya,
sapnne dikhaye,
ab to mera dil,
jaage na sota hai,
kya karoon haay,
kuch kuch hota hai

I

Bazigaar said:

y r u......>    u r supposed to be......>

Maine Dil Tujhko Diya

Thankooz all

My Vonly Dearest Low,

I have a conpeshion to make. I low u sooooo much. I
just low staring at your beautiful face all day long. I
keep your poto by my bed and look alvays at it in the
night middle time. Everyday I am thanking God for you
for making Vicco Turmeric Ayurvedic Cream, because
without it, you would not have that lovely scent of
sandlewood or that lovely wheat colored complexion
just like a fresh baked roti yar. You are such a
delicious specimin of a vooman. Your lips are like
nice, pink, sveet jilebi. Sometimes I vant to bite off your nose because it reminds me of a pakora. Smelling
your hair reminds of the days vhen I vas backin the
motherland and my servant used to rub coconut thel in
my hair before I vould go to sleep. Vould you like to rub me with your oil vhile vee frolickk in the
meadows? I vill let you be Kajol if you vill let me be
Shah Rukh Khan. We can dance and if it rains, it
vill be even better because then it vill be truly Hindi
style with my already tight jeans clinging to my
skinny legs and your sari stuck to your plump stomach.
But remember, no hanky panky. At least not yet.
Sometimes I am imagining vhat it vould be like if you
were not in my life. But then I can smell the curry
powder on your breath and I know you will be in my
life forewer! I lowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww you wery wery
much. Don't yewer porget. . . you are my little samosa
and I am your chutney.   You are my chicken curry and
I am your naan. You are my stuffing and I am your
paratha. You are my mango and I am your lassi. Please
accept this as a statement of my undying low for u
porever and ever and ever.
Alvays porever your vun and n only, Many low .

A sardarji went to toilet ten times within half-an-hour. Somebody asked - sardarji aapko chain nahin hai kya? sardar - hai to sahi, par khul nahin rahi.

Valentine letter from Punjab

Dear meri dil ki katori, Main kya ji, it was band-baj-gaya mera ji ever since the time I put my eyes on you at Bunty's wedding. The parrots flew out of my hands, when u turned like a truck on a blind curve and smiled at me. Now I see your face everywhere, even in my chicken-curry. The butter chicken reminds me of your sweet voice. Main kya ji, would you be the butter on my naan and the chicken in my curry of life, this Valentine? Koi gal nahi, take your time but don't put the foot on the brakes of my love ji. What to do, I have started thinking about shadi-Vadi. Karao mat wait, say yes for a date! For you with heart beating first gear, Shunty.

What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies? Here are some newer movie titles... * Login Karo Sajana * Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya * Shaheed Hacker Singh * Password De Ke Dekho * Mr.Network Lal * Terminal Sajaake Rakhna * Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani * Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha * Phir Theri Java-script Yaad Aayi * Hang To Hona Hi Tha !!!!!!!!!!!!

Koi...mil gaya

Tumhe hum apne jism-o-jaan mein kuch aise basa lenge
Tumhe hum apne jism-o-jaan mein kuch aise basa lenge
Teri khushboo apne jism ki khushboo bana lenge
Khuda se bhi na jo toote
Khuda se bhi na jo toote
Woh rishta jod lenge hum
Agar tum mil jao
Zamana chod denge hum
Tumhe paa kar zamane bhar se rishta tod denge hum
Agar tum mil jao
Zamana chod denge hum
Agar tum mil jao
Zamana chod denge hum

Esha

--A

Main tumhaare bachche ki maan banne waali hoon.

Main kahan hoon?

Boss! Maal pakda gaya.

Hato naa! Log kya kahenge.

Thairo! Yeh shaadi nahin ho sakti !

Chhod do mujhe, bhagwaan ke liye chhod do

Ab yeh natak band karo.

Tum mujhse kitna pyar kar te ho ?

Ahsaan Faraamosh !!

Maa, main ab dekh sakta hoon.

Mujhe kuch yaad nahi aa raha hai.

Mai kahti hoon, Door ho jaa meri nazron sey

Yahan teri izzat bachaane koi nahi ayega

Main, apka yeh ehsaan kabhi nahi bhul sakta.

Pati parmeshwar hota hai.

Yeh baraat ab wapas jayegi.

Pick-Up Lines:
* "Hey, u guys, please keep quiet. The president is rotating outside"
* "Donot smoke and spoil the botany of ur body"
* "Open the windows, open the windows, let the climate come in"
* "Why are you naat filupping the blanks?"
* Advice to father thinking about whether he should let his daughter continue her studies or get her married : " Vell, if you wantu study her, then study her. If you wantu marry her, then marry her ."
* Prof to students hanging around the corridors during exams : " Do not revolve in the corridors in front of the examinations "
* " Don't talk like that in front of my back "
* "Dont stand in front of my back"
* " Louly hair cutting. Hair cutting, current drying . No shock. "
* " Florida paan shop. Prop: Raju . B.A, M.A. "
* "Repeat again please!"
* "Mistake became wrong!"
* "Did you cut the tickets for the film, yet?"
* "Pliss, close the fan!"