A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes I do." she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes I remember."
"Do you remember your father when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said.'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail'?"
"Yes I do", she replied.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, " You know I would have gotten out today."
tarar786
Age: 124
7902 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
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China, China
Men's room! A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him. "Look," said the customer, "I have no arms - would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?" "Sure", said the bartender, and he did. "Now," said the customer, "I wonder if you'd be so kind as to get my handkerchief out of my pocket and wipe the foam off my mouth." "Certainly." And it was done. "If," said the armless man, "you'd reach in my right hand pants pocket, you'll find the money for the beer." The bartender got it. "You've been very kind," said the customer. "Just one thing more. Where is the men's room?" "Out the door," said the bartender, "turn left, walk two blocks, and there's one in a filling station on the corner."
tarar786
Age: 124
7902 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Last wish! Father John walked into a pub, and said to the first man he met, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. Then Father John walked up to Robert and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?" Robert said, "No, I don't Father." The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" Robert said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."
tarar786
Age: 124
7902 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Too expensive! Santa goes to Chandigarh, on a business trip, for the first time. After checking in to the hotel he goes down to the bar to have a drink. He orders a whisky and soda. The bartender gives it to him and says, "That will be five hundred rupees." He gives the bartender the money and says, "Everything is so expensive here in Chandigarh!" The bartender replies, "It can't be that much more than where you live." Santa replies, "Oh yes, it is! In my hometown, you can go out drinking all night for nothing! And if you feel you've had too much to drink, you can check into the finest hotel and spend the night for nothing! And not only that, when you wake up, there is a thousand rupee note on the pillow next to you!" The incredulous bartender says, "I find that very hard to believe. Has that ever really happened to you?" Santa replies, "Well no, not exactly...but it happens to my wife all the time!"
