sadness

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eshajam

Age: 36
Total Posts: 15689
Points: 0

Location:
United Arab Emirates, United Arab Emirates
Although consumed by fury, you still loved us.
At least that is the knowledge of my heart.
Screaming like a child, you would beat us
Until you snapped, and then the tears would start.
"You know I love you," you would cry, demanding
More of us through tears than with your fist.
And we, through tears, would nod our understanding,
Too bullied in our pain to dare resist.
Yet now that you've been dead for many years,
And I have wandered through my own vast hell,
I see the desperate anguish in your tears
And hope at last that I can love you well.
For only in my love can your love be
The love that once, I think, you had for me.
Posted 25 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Well maybe now I should just say goodbye
You used to be my friend
But I never felt I really was yours
So maybe this is the end.
I'm different from you, all of you
Each other we've never understood
I hope that if I do tell you goodbye
That it won't be for good.
Whenever I'm mad it hurts me so bad
And you don't even care
I don't know why, I just want to cry
And someday I won't be there.
The streaks on my arm they've done me no harm
They're only made of pen
But once they are blood that turns brown like mud
They'll be there again and again.
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter
Although when I hurt I feel like dirt
And my spirit's bruised and battered.
I do not know why it has to be so
I really wish it did not
But the way this has been going
it is basically shot.
You don't need me and we don't need we
And that's how I think I know why
These words are the ones I have to speak-
I love you, but goodbye.
Posted 25 Jul 2007

eshajam says
So soft
the brief touch of your lips
on my cheek.
Was I almost intruding?
"Look after yourself "
should have been said that
"I love you!"
but the Jumbo flew over
my head
and I shouted my love
above the roar
and thundering thrust
. . . as if you'd hear.
Through the clouds in my eyes
I watched you fly away
and wished I'd been born with wings
to come near you and say
"I love you"..
Posted 25 Jul 2007

awwwww   
Posted 25 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
eshajam said:

Well maybe now I should just say goodbye
You used to be my friend
But I never felt I really was yours
So maybe this is the end.
I'm different from you, all of you
Each other we've never understood
I hope that if I do tell you goodbye
That it won't be for good.
Whenever I'm mad it hurts me so bad
And you don't even care
I don't know why, I just want to cry
And someday I won't be there.
The streaks on my arm they've done me no harm
They're only made of pen
But once they are blood that turns brown like mud
They'll be there again and again.
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter
Although when I hurt I feel like dirt
And my spirit's bruised and battered.
I do not know why it has to be so
I really wish it did not
But the way this has been going
it is basically shot.
You don't need me and we don't need we
And that's how I think I know why
These words are the ones I have to speak-
I love you, but goodbye.



Posted 25 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Posted 25 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 25 Jul 2007

eshajam says
~tasha~ said:



sukriya
Posted 25 Jul 2007

eshajam says
KING OF JB said:


Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Needing to feel something
More than just pain
Smiles, joy and laughter
Warmth and love again

Tired of sitting alone
Crying so many tears
Breaking apart inside
Been like this for years

Wanting to scream
Breaking the silence
Hear more than myself
Feeling loves brilliance

Life has become so hard
Pushing through each day
Trying too see some light
Darkness blocks the way

Please come take my hand
It's been way to long
Looking for a way out
Only one place I belong..
Posted 26 Jul 2007

cutefriend says
very nice
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Tried to take my life
Ended up with more pain
I wish they didn't find me
Now im filled with shame

If only i'd cut deeper
So they didn't have enough time
It should have been easier
But i couldn't do it this time

I wish that i could stop the pain
so i didn't want to die
And dont have to be ashamed
I'am just tired of crying..
tired of being sad......
Posted 26 Jul 2007

cutefriend says
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
cutefriend said:


Thanks a lot yaar sadness ki chakkar main may kud sad hoga ya..thanks again
Posted 26 Jul 2007

Fairl_Girl says
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Fairl_Girl said:


thanks a lot..
Posted 26 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
~tasha~ said:


thanks
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Seeing you cry makes me cry
Seeing your heart broken made my heart break
crying cause your hurt made me cry and hurt
not falling in love made me not fall in love
not being your self made me not be my self
seeing you mad got me mad
when people get mean I get mean
when you get bullied I start to bully
when you get beat I beat them up
when your all alone I'll be there
and when you became your self I became myself
when you need a best friend you know who to go to
seeing you get happy is when I got happy
but I need to know will you be there when i need you.
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Posted 26 Jul 2007

lovely poem!
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
London_Girl said:

lovely poem!

Posted 26 Jul 2007

u have some cool emoticons collection!
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
I don't run from you
i walk slowly,
and it's kills me
because you don't care enough
to stop me..!
Posted 26 Jul 2007

Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
London_Girl said:

u have some cool emoticons collection!


thanks
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
Posted 26 Jul 2007

~tasha~ says
eshajam said:



my butterfly
Posted 26 Jul 2007

eshajam says
KING OF JB said:

choori ki thee es nay



shhhh..KING sahab main nai kahata ki kesikomat batai yeh..ha,ha,ha,
Posted 27 Jul 2007

Fairl_Girl says
is page per to bare ***y pics hain
sadnes gaye happnes agaye hai
Posted 27 Jul 2007

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