tarar786
Age: 124
7955 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
For the first time in, oh, a decade, I think, something from Microsoft shipped on time: Jennifer Katharine Gates, weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces when she was downloaded, er, born on Friday, April 26 at 6:11pm. And what do Baby Gates and Daddy's products have in common?
1. Neither can stand on its own two feet without a LOT of third party support. 2. Both barf all over themselves regularly. 3. Regardless of the problem, calling Microsoft Tech Support won't help. 4. As they mature, we pray that they will be better than that which preceeded them. 5. At first release they're relatively compact, but they seem to grow and grow and grow with each passing year. 6. Although announced with great fanfare, pretty much anyone could have produced one. 7. They arrive in shaky condition with inadequate documentation. 8. No matter what, it takes several months between the announcement and the actual release. 9. Bill gets the credit but someone else did most of the work. 10. For at least the next year, they'll stink.
tarar786
Age: 124
7955 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Three men - an American, a Japanese and Banta Singh were sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The American pressed his forearm and the beep stoped. The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager," he said. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." Banta felt decidedly low-tech but not to be outdone, decided he had to do something just as impressive. He steped out of the sauna and went to toilet. He returns with a piece of 'Toilet paper' hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and said, "Wow! What's that?" "I'm getting a Fax," he explains.
tarar786
Age: 124
7955 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
An Indian lady visiting France goes to a restaurant and looks at the menu. She finds the design on the menu card appealing and decides to knit the design for a sweater. She completes knitting it in a couple of days while still in France. She wears it for a walk, but is surprised when everyone starts laughing at her. She couldn't understand why, so she asks one of them the reason. She is told that the design on her sweater is not a design, but in French that means, 'Fresh milk available here.'
tarar786
Age: 124
7955 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place."
So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.
One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?" Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. _ We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."
God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here." Satan says, "No way." I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."
God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue." Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
tarar786
Age: 124
7955 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time.
A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible to get. They were very excited and warmed by the gesture of the person who sent this. Inside the envelope, however, was only a small piece of paper with a single line, "Guess who sent them."
The pair had much fun trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They went to the theatre, and had a wonderful time. On their return home late at night, still trying to guess the identity of the unknown host, they found the house stripped of every article of value.
And on the bare table in the dining room was a piece of paper on which was written in the same hand as the enclosure with the tickets: "Now you know!"
