tarar786
Age: 124
7918 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
The dialogue: George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening? Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China. George: Great. Lay it on me. Condi: Hu is the new leader of China. George: That's what I want to know. Condi: That's what I'm telling you. George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China? Condi: Yes. George: I mean the fellow's name. Condi: Hu. George: The guy in China. Condi: Hu. George: The new leader of China. Condi: Hu. George: The Chinaman! Condi: Hu is leading China. George: Now whaddya' asking me for? Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China. George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China? Condi: That's the man's name. George: That's who's name? Condi: Yes. George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East. Condi: That's correct. George: Then who is in China? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir is in China? Condi: No, sir. George: Then who is? Condi: Yes, sir. George: Yassir? Condi: No, sir. George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. Condi: Kofi? George: No, thanks. Condi: You want Kofi? George: No. Condi: You don't want Kofi. George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N. Condi: Yes, sir. George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi? George: Milk! Will you please make the call? Condi: And call who? George: Who is the guy at the U.N? Condi: Hu is the guy in China. George: Will you stay out of China?! Condi: Yes, sir. George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N. Condi: Kofi. George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
tarar786
Age: 124
7918 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows, the Government takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows; the Government takes both, shoots one, milks the other and throws the milk away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You offer the cows milk.
tarar786
Age: 124
7918 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
"Help.... the Titanic is going to be drowned...." Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God ... Just then an Italian asks the nearby Sardarjee in the ship. Italian: How far is land, from here? Sardarjee: Two miles. Italian: Only two miles, then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again. Italian: Just tell me which side; is the land two miles from here? Sardarjee: Downwards
tarar786
Age: 124
7918 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
THE SILENT TREATMENT
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week, the man realised that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (AND LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM.
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see whyhis wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
tarar786
Age: 124
7918 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Fill 'er Up little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts." Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"
Later that day when the Evangelist and her husband were over for dinner. The Evangelist began to feel bad. Holding her head she said, "I have such a terrible headache!"
The little girl looked up at her giving her the sweetest smile that any little child could give. Then she said,
"That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"
tarar786
Age: 124
7918 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
A woman pregnant with triplets is walking down the street when a masked robber runs out the bank and shoots her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies are okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. All is fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walks into the room in tears. "What's wrong" asks the mother. "I was taking pee and this bullet came out" replies the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walks in to the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking pee and this bullet came out". Again the mother tells her not to worry and explains what happened 16 years ago. A week later the boy walks into the room in tears. "It's okay" says the mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a pee and a bullet came out." "No," says the boy, "I was jerking off and I shot the dog."
tarar786
Age: 124
7918 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Little John and his classmates were learning the ABC's and suddenly he had to go to the restroom so he asked the teacher and the teacher said only in 1 condition if he said the ABC's. So he said a b c d e f g h i j k m n o q r s t u v w x y z and then the teacher asked were the "p" went and little John said "down my pants".
