Age: 124
7946 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their duties.
The first man had married a woman from Delhi and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Bangalore . He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes was done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a Mumbai girl. He boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes washed, the cooking done and laundry washed. And this was all her responsibility. He said the first day he didn't see anything and the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day some of the swelling had gone down so he could see a little out of his left eye!!!!
Age: 124
7946 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
A couple is travelling on a long distance overnight flight. Everyone is slowly drifting off. The flight attendants have served the last round of coffee and drinks, dimmed the cabin lights, and are resting.
The couple carefully check over their fellow pa**engers. Finally, everyone appears to be asleep. One at a time, they furtively make their way to the bathroom at the rear of the cabin. Before closing the door, the last one in has a quick glance back over the cabin to make sure they haven't been spotted. There's rustling of clothes as they prepare themselves and get comfortable:
"Ready, dear?" "Yes, darling."
"Oh, good! You remembered the condom." "Quick, let's get it on and get started."
A little more rustling, then:
"Aaahhh!" "Oohhhh!"
Suddenly, the intercom comes to life:
"This is your Captain speaking."
"To the two people in the toilet - we know exactly what you're up to." "What you're doing is expressly prohibited by the airline regulations."
"Please stop immediately, put your cigarettes out, and remove the condom from the smoke detector!"
Age: 124
7946 days old here
Total Posts: 2636
Points: 0
Location:
China, China
There were twin sisters at the nursing home and they were turning 100 years old. The editor of the local newspaper told a photographer to get over there and take pictures of the two twins. One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well.
Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa.
The deaf sister said to her twin, "What did he say?"
Her sister answered, "We've got to sit over there on the sofa."
"Now get a little closer together," said the photographer.
Again one sister asked, "What did he say?"
The sister with good hearing said, "He says squeeze together a little."
So, they wiggled up close to each other.
"Just hold on for a bit longer, I've got to focus a little," said the photographer.
Yet again, "What did he say?"
Her sister said, "He's going to focus!"
With a big grin, the deaf twin shouted out, "Oh my God. Both of us?"