Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? Ted : $10. Teacher : You don't know maths. Ted : You don't know my father!
Mother : David, come here. David : Yes, mum? Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow. Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test? Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8 Father : So? Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. Son : If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
A mother and daughter were doing dishes while the father and son were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The son turned to look at his father.
Son : It's mummy! Father : How do you know? Son : She didn't say anything.
Old lady : Doctor, I've got a pain in my left leg. Doctor (after examining her) : It's caused by old age. Old lady : Nonsense. My right leg is all right and it's as old as the left leg.
Two men were facing each other on the train. First man : I know my hearing isn't that good, but I never thought this would happen. I must have gotten stone deaf. Here you have been talking to me for an hour and I can't hear a word. Second man : I wasn't speaking. I was only chewing gum.
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7531 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Boy Writing On A Dog
One day a boy was writing something on a dog. Father asked what he was doing? Boy replied, "Teacher told me to write an essay on dog today as homework"
Once a sardarji was sitting at the top of the mountain, having a book in his hand. Some body asked him, 'what are you doing?' He replied, 'higher studies.'
Three dreams of a man: To be as handsome as his mother thinks To be as rich as his child believes To have as many women as his wife suspects..
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7531 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
The Sultan of Brunei was getting a bit cheesed off as he had 6 children, all girls, and therefore had no son and heir. Imagine his joy then,when one of his wives presented him with his only son and heir.
Just before his son's sixth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side and said, "Son, I am very proud of you. Anything you want, I shall get for you."
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like an aeroplane." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him British Airways.
Just before his son's seventh birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are my pride and joy. Anything you want, I shall get for you."
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like a boat." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him P&O Ferries.
Just before his son's eighth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you bring so much happiness into my life. Anything you want, I shall get for you."
His son replied, "Daddy, I would like something to watch films on." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father bought him MGM Studios and their cinemas, where he watched all his favourite Western Movies.
Just before his son's ninth birthday, the Sultan took him to one side. "Son, you are an inspiration to us all. Anything you want, I shall get for you."
His son, who had caught the 'Western' movie bug, replied, "Daddy,I would like a cowboy outfit." Not wanting to do anything by halves, his father went and bought him Microsoft.
Fairl_Girl
Age: 124
7531 days old here
Total Posts: 26920
Points: 0
Location:
Pakistan, Pakistan
Q: How do you keep an idiot busy for hours? A: Give him a piece of paper with "Please turn over" written on both sides.
* * *
An idiot decides to start up a chicken farm, so he buys a hundred chickens to get up and running. A month later he returns to the dealer to get another hundred chickens because the first lot had died. Another month passes and he's back at the dealers for another hundred chickens, "I think I know where I'm going wrong" he tells the dealer, "I think I'm planting them too deep."
* * *
Q: How do you confuse an idiot? A: Give him two spades and tell him to take his pick.
* * *
Did you here about the idiot who won the 'Tour De France'? He did a lap of Honour!
* * *
Did you hear about the stupid tap dancer? He fell in the sink!
