Smooth_daddy
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There is alot that can be said about it. It is a disease of heart (spiritual heart) and the entry door for satan in it. It exists among most people except those who keep a check on their intentions.
Allah swt says: " O you who believe! Do not render in vain your Sadaqah (charity) by reminders of your generosity or by injury, like him who spends his wealth to be seen of men, and he does not believe in Allah, nor in the Last Day."
Likes of one who does good (worship, charity or any righteous deed) to be only seen and praised by people, believes not in the reward from Allah on the day of judgment.
Cure for this disease is to believe in Allah and only seek reward from Him. Allah only rewards for works done with full sincerity toward Allah alone.
Smooth_daddy
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SohniKuddi said:
SO WHAT YOU ARE SAYING S.D. IS THAT CASTS IS AN ISLAMIC ISSUE...AND THAT IT IS TRUE TO SAY THAT "MUSLIMS BELIEVE IN CASTS"
I MUST DISAGREE WITH YOU HERE. THE BURIAL OF CHILDREN IS A COMPLETELY UNRELATED MATTER, WHAT I AM SAYING IS THAT BELIEVING IN CASTS IS NOT ENCOURAGED BY OUR RELIGION.
I guess I was not clear in my expression. I didn't say that. What I meant to say was, there is no issue that Islam does not address. Islam does not recognize the cast system, it rather rejects it and calls for equality.
I referred to burying children example only to show Islam tackles traditions of oppressive nature. In short, there is nothing that is traditional falling out of Islams span.
Smooth_daddy
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SohniKuddi said:
LOL,, NO I DO BELIEVE THAT WHEN CHOOSING ONES PARTNER IT MUST BE DONE IN A HALAL WAY, THIS WAY PARENTS MUST HAVE A SAY, ISLAM ALLOWS US TO HAVE A SAY IN OUR MARRIAGE, THIS DATING AND SEEING NON MEHRAM AS IN SOCIETY TODAY IS NOT PROHIBITED IN ISLAM. I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS IS THE WAY TOWARDS FINDING A LIFE PARTNER, OUR PARENTS MUST CONSENT TO OUR MARRIAGE CHOICES.
Dating and seeing non-mehram is absolutely prohibited in Islam - Islam offers other alternatives.
"OUR PARENTS MUST CONSENT TO OUR MARRIAGE CHOICES", they have no obligation to consent to our marriage choices but they have the right to dissent to our marriage choices.
Smooth_daddy
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You are absolutely right about children having freedom to accept or reject a proposal and to express their dissent, particularly in matters of their future an life.
SohniKuddi said:
WE MUST NOT CONFUSE RELIGION WITH TRADITION, CAST IS A TRADITIONAL ISSUE AND NOT A RELIGIOUS ISSUE
Sorry Sonni, you are wrong there. Islam is a complete way of life and nothing stands out side of its folds.
Islam came to eradicate unjust traditions and practices. Burying girls alive was a tradition in pre-Islamic Arab society. Islam aborted that tradition with injunctions against that practice.
Cast system is dead wrong whether practiced in the name of religion or tradition, in Pakistan or in India or elsewhere. It is a system of ignorance.
Smooth_daddy
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S-Kuddi - I didn't know about such strong existence of cast system in paki society until recently. I denounce it outrightly -- clearly violates basic tenets of islam. Why do we than point fingers at cast system among Hindus I feel ashamed for we have returned to JAHILIYAH instead of stepping forward.
Now, parents pride stand ahead of children's happiness might be true too. Obedience of parents is obedience of Allah and only exception to that is when they invite you share partners with Allah. One may argue that violation of Islamic principle can be valid excuse for disobedience. This argument is not valid. However, Islam does not prevent children from expressing their views and disagreement with parents. We have been advised in the Quran and hadith how to address parents, thus we should take excessive caution before we present ourselves. Our arguments, speech and tone of it in no way should cause hurt to their hearts.
Choosing life-partners based of love affairs and physical attractions are newly learned behaviors from movies and influences from non-Islamic cultures and values. This way of life has brought serious problems in societies where it has been in practice for long time. Now we are trying to adopt similar ways just because westerners do it. Our hearts are gripped in the clutches of the materials of the world and thus fullfilment of its requirements become greater obligaions for us.
Smooth_daddy
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Well, that's why experienced people go for tested methods. Younger gen have always thought of older one as strict and orthodox. One who can mix the experience of old with energy of young, flourishes longer and enjoys the fruits of it. One who's impulsive, whose gains are shor-lived and less fruity.
Smooth_daddy
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your rite about that. But you know what! wid my expr, parents are not totally wrong. Though some customs are overwhelmings, but in-general, parents most valuable and precious possessions are kids. Well being of kids and their best-interests are at the heart of parents.
Its hard for me to understand that parents who spent sleepless nights to ensure our sound sleep, who fed us before feeding themselves would sacrifice happiness and life of their children for customs and caste. They usually insist on methods and customs that have produced relatively satisfactory results. While outcome of love affairs and kids emotional involvements remains an uncentain and unforeseen future with little or no proven success tract.
Smooth_daddy
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Sanctity of life (especialy of a believer) fares higher than prohibitions. We don't know all circumstances of that person. A fatwa given to an individual for very unique circumstances should not be taken for granted and used as excuse for other situations.
Meds that you and I take for ailment are also drugs. Consuming large quantities of which can cause threat to life. To treat drug addiction and effects of it, doctors adminster other drugs to such persons. Those drugs are also addictive and harmful if abused.
Smooth_daddy
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just joking S-Kuddi oops laughed again !!
Parents don't see it from that stand point. In their mind they are covering all bases - norms, society, family, religion ... most of which are self-imposed.
Kids (not all) on the other hand are only driven by emotion and underate experience of their parents. When parents and kids enjoy communication, understanding and mutual trust between them, most important decisions of life can be made without serious complications.
Smooth_daddy
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you have 3 smilies in your post, that's a dangerous thing to do on this forum. i will therefore
Ignorance is the enemy of mankind. Education given to reinforce ignorance causes twice as damage. Education doesn't happen in classrooms only, it mostly happen outside of it, especially social and cultural grooming. Educated people who can't reason and act with wisdom are still ignorant. There's a vast difference in education and training. Appropriately trained persons'understand what is being given to them and their actions and performances are committed to their learnings.
Smooth_daddy
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SALL said:
not in all cases yar,, but zyada
It has effects on behaviors and attitudes but can't be generalized.
SALL said:
arey han i was reading a book few days ago,, and uss mei a guy s drinking wine aur doosra usse kehta hai "sharab kharab cheez hai" and first man replies "kharab woh nahi jo mu mei jata hai, kharab woh hai jo mu se bahir aata hai"
People justify what they do and condemn what they don't do. What ever bad goes in the mouth and whatever bad comes out it are prohibited for believers. Not all bad comes out of the mouth and not all good goes in it if left unchecked.
Smooth_daddy
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For marriages with people of the book, its only permissible to men of faith with women of the people of the book who are chaste and practising their religion.
Smooth_daddy
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Our beloved prophet set for us a very golden principle of being realistic and balanced. He stated four reasons for a man to marry a woman; Her beauty, her richness, her lineage, and her practice of religion. All reasons are valid and permissible but the most preferable is marrying someone for her devotion and practice of religion. This applies to women also. Remember the choice is always of the one who is getting married.
In Paki society, people are on extreme ends. Parents think they can make best choices for children and children think parents are oppressive and they can make their decisions in their own best interest. In the materialist society, parents think and believe that their children's future is protected by wealth and material only. Children, on the other hand believe that just love between the two is enough to live happily.
Lost are both sides to the temptations and whims. It is the combination of both that makes life pleasant and joyful. There were companions of prophet whose wives and children will see their husband / father off every morning with a reminder that we can survive will little provisions so don't earn anything haram. We will be patient with whatever little we get.
We dropped the ball somewhere. We have lost the belief that their is only one gaurantee of provisions, happiness, love and joy, i.e our Lord and Creator. It is His glorious attribute that He joins the heart and creates affection between them and bestows provisions to its creations.
Smooth_daddy
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SALL said:
Smooth_daddy said:
Intention of doing haram don't count against you until you do it. If someone didn't get a chance to earn haram, he / she can't be held liable for wrong doing. Now, it is a different thing when someone tried to arrange haram means but did not succeed.
well,,,,,, indirectly bad intention does count coz iss ka matlab hota hai that u ve no will to go against wrong acts the moment u ll get a chance aap foran burai ki taraf jao ge,,,
I didn't make that up, Prophet of Allah said so, and this is from the mercy of Allah. Again, you can't penalize anyone for a crime / wrong doing until it's committed or being committed.
I feel ashamed for we have returned to JAHILIYAH instead of stepping forward. 
